Sitcoms

"I didn't get where I am today by telling the truth."

"I didn't get where I am today without knowing a slight wobble when I enter one."

"I didn't get where I am today without knowing Grot will be a success."

"I didn't get where I am today without recognising another slight wobble when I enter one."

"I didn't get where you are today without knowing the night is darkest before the storm."

"I didn't get where you are today without being a bit of a stickler for offices."

"I didn't get where I am today without recognising "promising inroads" when I see them."

"I didn't get where I am today by having Irish labourers promoted over my head."

"I didn't get where I am today without recognising a completely useless machine when I see one."

"I didn't get where I am today by serving Welsh people."

"I didn't get where I am today by calling it Grotfabrieken Rubbishhausen."

"I didn't get where I am today without asking for 10p for a cup of tea, Guv."

"I didn't get where I am today by being nice."

"I didn't get where I am today without recognising a rib-tickling play on words when I hear one."

"I didn't get where I am today by having green frogs thrust down my crotch."

"I didn't get where I am today by changing nappies."

"I didn't get where I am today without recognising a person who doesn't pull his weight."

"I didn't get where I am today by telling undertakers from anyone else."

"I didn't get where I am today listening to married couples squabble like children."

"I didn't get where I am today learning about the 'them and us' situation which bedevils British industry so tragically."

"I didn't get where I am today by sleeping with sweaty, Caledonian chefs."

"I didn't get where I am today without recognising Success City, Arizona when I see it."

"I didn't get where I am today by tearing money into small pieces!"

"I didn't get where I am today by touching everybody!"

"I didn't gergle where I am todergle without recognising a mergle that looks like rain when I see one."

"I didn't get where I am today by playing 'mothers and fathers'."

"I didn't get where I am today by looking a gift horse in the mouth. Or by going down with a sinking ship."

"I didn't get where I am today by drinking a liquid that's only been tested on pencils."

"I didn't get where I am today by being disguised as half a compost heap!"

"I didn't get where I am today by everything smelling of a Bolivian unicyclist's jockstrap!"

"I didn't get where I am today without knowing God moves in mysterious ways."

"I didn't get where I am today by looking a gift horse in the bush."

"I didn't get where I am today without being pleased to come."

"I didn't get where I am today by being absurd."

"I didn't get where I am today by throwing money into the hands of overpaid lawyers."

"I didn't get where I am today by sounding like a cheese."

"I didn't get where I am today by pouring cold water over a wet blanket."

"I didn't get where I am today without being able to see which way the wind is blowing."

"I didn't get where I am today by comparing Jimmy to Sir Winston Churchill."

"I didn't get where I am today without knowing a burglar type when I see one."

"I didn't get where I am today by sweating my guts out over a bloodless revolution."

"I didn't get where I am today without striking while the bird in the hand is hot."

"I didn't get where I am today by apologising."

"I didn't get where I am today by using and discarding people like old socks."

"I didn't get where I am today by taking over the government."

"I didn't get where I am today by caring about ginger-headed strangers."

"I didn't get where I am today feeling like a fish out of water but you can't make him drink."

"I didn't get where I am today without spending lolly to earn even more lolly."

"I didn't get where I am today by being a good chap."

"I didn't get where I am today by booking more coaches."