"[Telling Harry the story of his deceased fish] It was a student who gave me Francis. One spring afternoon I discovered a bowl on my desk with just a few inches of clear water in it. And floating on the surface was a flower petal. As I watched, it sank. Just before it reached the bottom, it was transformed into a wee fish. It was beautiful magic, wondrous to behold. The flower petal had come from a lily. Your mother. The day I came downstairs, the day the bowl was empty, was the day your mother.... I know why you're here, but I can't help you. It would ruin me."

"[in regard to returning to Hogwarts] All right, I'll do it! But I want Professor Merrythought's old office, not the water closet I had before. And I expect a raise, these are mad times we live in. Mad!!"

"[Alone in his compartment on the train with Harry hiding under the Cloak; quietly] Didn't Mummy ever tell you it was rude to eavesdrop, Potter? Petrificus Totalus! [Harry falls, still hidden] Oh, right. She was dead before you could wipe the drool off your chin. [Kicks Harry in the face, breaking his nose] That's for my father. Enjoy your ride back to London. [Covers Harry with the cloak]"

"Now as you know, each and every one of you was searched upon your arrival here tonight and you have the right to know why. Once there was a young man, who like you, sat in this very hall, walked this castle's corridors, slept under its roofs. He seemed to all the world a student like any other. His name: Tom Riddle! [Murmuring erupts among the students] Today, of course, he's known all over the world by another name, which is why, as I stand looking out upon you all tonight, I'm reminded of a sobering fact: Every day, every hour, this very minute, perhaps, dark forces attempt to penetrate this castle's walls. [pause] But in the end, their greatest weapon.... is you. There's something to think about. Now off to bed, pip pip!"

"Being me has its privileges."

"[after Dumbledore asks him if he has feelings for Hermione] Oh, no, no, no, I mean she's brilliant, but we're friends."

"Years ago, I knew a boy who made all the wrong choices. Please let me help you."

"Evanna Lynch – Luna Lovegood"

"Helena Bonham Carter – Bellatrix Lestrange"

"Alan Rickman – Severus Snape"

"Bonnie Wright – Ginny Weasley"

"Robbie Coltrane – Rubeus Hagrid"

"Jim Broadbent – Horace Slughorn"

"Michael Gambon – Albus Dumbledore"

"Tom Felton – Draco Malfoy"

"Emma Watson – Hermione Granger"

"Rupert Grint – Ron Weasley"

"Daniel Radcliffe – Harry Potter"

"To know the future, you must return to the past."

"Once again I must ask too much of you, Harry."

"Ralph Waite - Shadow"

"Jeff Fischer in some parts"

"Bob Uecker - Trixie Uecker"

"Stephen Tobolowsky - Bando"

"Sinbad - Riley"

"Jon Polito - Ashcan"

"Al Michaels - Sparky Michaels"

"Ross Malinger - Spike"

"Tress MacNeille - French Poodle"

"Tommy Lasorda - Lucky Lasorda"

"Carla Gugino - Delilah"

"Adam Goldberg - Pete"

"Tisha Campbell-Martin - Sledge"

"Michael Bell - Stokey"

"Sally Field - Sassy"

"Michael J. Fox - Chance"

"Max Perlich - Ralph"

"Michael Rispoli - Jack"

"Kevin Chevalia - Jamie Seaver"

"Veronica Lauren - Hope Seaver"

"Benj Thall - Peter Seaver"

"Kim Greist - Laura Seaver"

"Robert Hays - Bob Seaver"

"[Singing] Home, home in the 'burbs, where the cat and the squeak toy can play...where no traffic is heard, and I can maul birds, and sleep in the sunshine all day!"

"Cut the mush, get the grub!"