"[first lines, playing over a montage of reunions at Heathrow Airport] Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that [the following words appear on screen] love actually is all around. [the screen turns black, showing the words "love actually"]"

"[after fluffing up recording his song "Christmas is All Around" for the second time] Oh, fuck, wank, bugger, shitting, arse, head and hole!"

"Thank you, Ant or Dec."

"Oh. Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs..... Become a pop star, and they give you them for free!"

"We may be a small country, but we are a great one. A country of Shakespeare, Churchill, The Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter, David Beckham's right foot, David Beckham's left foot come to that..."