"And he put his arm around my shoulders and we went for a little walk and he said, Randy, it’s such a shame that people perceive you as so arrogant. Because it’s going to limit what you’re going to be able to accomplish in life. What a hell of a way to word “you’re being a jerk.” [laughter] Right? He doesn’t say you’re a jerk. He says people are perceiving you this way and he says the downside is it’s going to limit what you’re going to be able to accomplish."

"I'm dying and I'm having fun. And I'm going to keep having fun every day I have left. Because there's no other way to play."

"You just have to decide whether you are Tigger or an Eeyore. You have to be clear where you stand on the Tigger/Eeyore debate."

"Never lose the child-like wonder. It's just too important. It's what drives us."

"Help others."

"We keep what is valuable to us, what we cherish."

"It took me a long time but I finally figured it out: when it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, it's really simple: just ignore everything they say, and only pay attention to what they do. It's that simple. It's that easy."

"Never give up."

"How do you get people to help you? You can’t get there alone. People have to help you and I do believe in karma. I believe in paybacks. You get people to help you by telling the truth; by being earnest. I'll take an earnest person over a hip person every day, because hip is short-term, earnest is long term."

"Apologize when you screw up and focus on other people, not on yourself."

"Remember brick walls let us show our dedication. They are there to separate us from the people who don't really want to achieve their childhood dreams."

"Don't bail. The best of the gold’s at the bottom of barrels of crap."

"When you do the right thing, good stuff has a way of happening."

"Get a feedback loop and listen to it. … When people give you feedback, cherish it and use it."

"Show gratitude."

"Don't complain; just work harder."

"Be good at something. It makes you valuable."

"Junior faculty members used to come up to me and say. "Wow, you got tenure early; what's your secret?" I said, "It's pretty simple, call me any Friday night in my office at 10 o'clock and I'll tell you.""

"Work hard."

"Find the best in everybody. … you might have to wait a long time, sometimes years, but people will show you their good side. Just keep waiting no matter how long it takes. No one is all evil. Everybody has a good side, just keep waiting, it will come out."

"And be prepared. Luck is truly where preparation meets opportunity."

"Did you figure out the head fake? It's not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you."

"Did you figure out the second head fake? This talk's not for you. It's for my kids."

"Being successful doesn’t make you manage your time well. Managing your time well makes you successful!"

"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment."

"Failing to plan is planning to fail. Plan Each Day, Each Week, Each Semester. You can always change your plan, but only once you have one!"

"Clutter is death; it leads to thrashing. Keep desk clear: focus on one thing at a time."

"Make your office comfortable for you, and optionally comfortable for others."

"You don’t find time for important things, you make it."

"Everything you do is an opportunity cost. Learn to say “No”"

"Everyone has Good and Bad Times. Find your creative/thinking time. Defend it ruthlessly, spend it alone, maybe at home. Find your dead time. Schedule meetings, phone calls, and mundane stuff during it."

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. If I don't seem as depressed or morose as I should be, I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"So what is today's talk about then? It's about my childhood dreams and how I've achieved them — I've been very fortunate that way; how I believe I've been able to enable the dreams of others, and to some degree, lessons learned: I'm a professor — there should be some lessons learned — and how you can use the stuff you hear today to enable your dreams or enable the dreams of others. And as you get older you may find that enabling-the-dreams-of-others thing is even more fun."

"We're not going to talk about spirituality and religion. Although I will tell you that I have experienced a deathbed conversion. I just bought a Macintosh."