"You don't fuck with Bob! You show Bob respect. Bob's my special guy. That's right! That's right. That just happened. You don't tell your parents about this. You don't tell your friends about this. You write it in your dream journal. You lock it up and put it under your pillow. I will come back here and I will kill each and every one of you! Except for those two hot girls I was talking to. They have my information, please have them get in contact with me. They seam great."

"Singing was their hobby. Closing ass was their job."

"[about his massage chair] That is the best 2300 bucks I ever spent. I got it at a place called relaxtheback.com. It's like Toys-R-Us for your ass and back."

"Pigs have uniforms, I think we should have uniforms too. Gotta match those fuckers on every level."

"Here's the best case scenario: he's a lonely old man, he wants to waltz, he wants to listen to some of the old songs from his childhood. Worst case scenario: you're getting fucked in the ass."

"Richard Ayoade - Jamarcus Perkins"

"You've been planning an alien invasion... in my Costco?"

"[revealing his gun collection] Welcome to candyshop, motherfuckers!"

"R. Lee Ermey - Manfred Salisbury"

"Dee Bradley Baker – Mooch the Fly"

"Jon Favreau – Hurley"

"Penelope Cruz – Juarez"

"Steve Buscemi – Bucky"

"Sam Rockwell – Darwin"

"Loudon Wainwright III – Grandpa Goodman"

"Chris Ellis Jr. – The FBI Director"

"Tracy Morgan – Blaster"

"Nicolas Cage – Speckles"

"Gabriel Casseus – Agent Carter"

"Jack Conley – Agent Trygstad"

"Hoyt Yeatman IV & Max Favreau – The Mice"

"Niecy Nash – Rosalita"

"Piper Mackenzie Harris – Penny Goodman"

"Justin Mentell – Terrell"

"The world needs bigger heroes"

"Gadgets, Gizmos, Guinea Pigs. In 3-D."

"Bill Nighy – Leonard Saber"

"[repeated line] I had a brother!"

"Will Arnett – Agent Kip Killian"

"Zach Galifianakis – Dr. Ben Kendall"

"Kelli Garner – Marcie"

"Tyler Patrick Jones – Connor Goodman"

"Frank, It's not personal, it's just programming."