"Sir, I wald speir at ȝow ane questioun. Behauld sum Prelats of this Regioun: Manifestlie during thair lustie lyvfis, Thay swyfe Ladies, Madinis and vther mens wyfis. And sa thair cunts thay haue in consuetude. Quhidder say ȝe that law is evill or gude?"

"Ere I depart this natioun, I shall mak Reformatioun!"

"And to the Devill of hell condemne this mein3e; For quhy sic reformatioune, as I weine Into Scotland was never hard nor seine."

"But in the glances of his eye, A penetrating, keen, and sly Expression found its home; The flash of that satiric rage, Which, bursting on the early stage, Branded the vices of the age, And broke the keys of Rome. * * * Still is thy name in high account, And still thy verse has charms, Sir David Lindesay of the Mount, Lord Lion King-at-arms!"

"He usually lacks the originality of Henryson and the brilliance of Dunbar and Douglas. But what there is of him is good all through."

"Unthrift, sweirnes, falset, povertie, and stryfe Pat polacey in dainger of hir lyfe."

"That nicht he sleipit never ane wink, Bot still did on the Ladie think."

"Quhowbeit that divers devote cunnyng Clerkis In Latyne toung hes wryttin syndrie bukis, Our unlernit knawis lytill of thare werkis, More than thay do the rauyng of the Rukis. Quharefore to Colyearis, Cairtaris, & to Cukis, To Jok and Thome, my Ryme sall be diractit, With cunnyng men quhowbeit it wylbe lactit."

"Music exalts each joy, allays each grief, Expels diseases, softens every pain, Subdues the rage of poison, and the plague."

"'Tis not for mortals always to be blest."

"Of right and wrong he taught Truths as refined as ever Athens heard; And (strange to tell) he practis'd what he preach'd."

"There are, while human miseries abound, A thousand ways to waste superfluous wealth, Without one fool or flatterer at your board, Without one hour of sickness or disgust."

"Weak withering age no rigid law forbids, With frugal nectar, smooth and slow with balm, The sapless habit daily to bedew, And give the hesitating wheels of life Gliblier to play."

"This restless world Is full of chances, which by habit's power To learn to bear is easier than to shun."

"How happy he whose toil Has o'er his languid pow'rless limbs diffus'd A pleasing lassitude; he not in vain Invokes the gentle Deity of dreams. His pow'rs the most voluptuously dissolve In soft repose; on him the balmy dews Of Sleep with double nutriment descend."

"All political parties die at last of swallowing their own lies."

"I exhort all People, gentle and simple, men, women and children, to buy, to read, to extol, these labours of mine. Let them not fear to defend every article; for I will bear them harmless. I have arguments good store, and can easily confute, either logically, theologically, or metaphysically, all those who oppose me."

"(as himself): "So to recap: we may or may not be going to war with Iraq because Saddam may or may not have weapons of mass destruction, which he may or may not use, or pass to other terrorists groups with whom he may or may not have links.""

"Bremner (as himself): "But let's be clear. We're talking about a country where there's no opposition. As leader he can ignore Parliament and - sorry that's Tony Blair isn't it? Um, so he doesn't even have to ask the country before he goes to war - sorry that's still Tony Blair. No, the difference is Saddam rules Iraq through a combination of terror and brutality, backed up by a vicious regime of intimidation and torture - or is that David Blunkett? As absolute ruler Saddam recently claimed 100% victory in a Presidential Election." John Fortune: "Although that's not surprising, given that voters were accompanied into the booths by Saddam's Ba'ath party officials, and given a choice between voting for Saddam or voting for their wives and children to be killed, and their houses to be burnt down." Bremner (as Peter Snow): "And just a bit of fun, just a bit of fun, even small children were counted as supporters on the principle that you might as well throw in the baby with the Ba'ath voter.""

"(as Tony Blair): "Look we believe Saddam has weapons of mass destruction. Now if we don't attack him, then he might not use them, and in that case we'll never know whether he's got them or not. And you know, that's not a risk I'm prepared to take. Besides if we do conquer Iraq, and remove Saddam Hussein, there's a chance we could win the Nobel Peace Prize, and you know, frankly, isn't that something worth going to war for?""

"(as himself): "Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden are much like Nancy Dell'Olio and Ulrika Jonsson: they can't stand each other, but they both enjoy fucking the same bloke.""

"(as himself): "Multimedia? As far as I’m concerned, it’s reading with the radio on.""