First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"As their name implies, kobolds are bold."
"Most [hill trolls] enjoy removing all flesh from the victim, then eating the internal organs. They are very selective, and will leave all muscle untouched, but eat the internal organs instead. Almost always, hill trolls save the brain for last, which they consider a delicacy; it takes as long as an hour to eat. Although hill trolls crave the cortex and the surrounding cerebrospinal fluid, they savor the taste of the limbic system, most specifically the amygdala, basal ganglia, and hippocampus. Oddly, they always reject the thalamus, but devour the hypothalamus. While tasting the limbic system, hill trolls will become erect or wet with sexual excitement as well."
"Victorious bugbears will often rape human women before devouring the children. Human women who are raped by bugbears may become pregnant, though the fetus aborts prior to birth. In fact, 50% of human women who are ravished by a bugbear die due to ripped uteral lining."
"Whenever a character is afflicted with exhibitionism, they must pass a Drive sub-ability check at TH 15 daily or expose their genitals in public to strangers."
"In a sexual encounter, Sexual Adeptness heavily influences the perception of the other, from positively to negatively. The amount of pleasure a character derives from a sexual encounter may be determined as follows. For each SP a character invests into Sexual Adeptness, they may further invest 1 Sexual Adeptness Point (SAP) either into cunnilingus, ejaculation/ orgasm control, fellatio, or positions."
"For each SP invested in Sexual Adeptness, the character may invest in the specialty of cunnilingus. Each SP invested in cunnilingus represents a new technique such as a trick with the tongue, lips, or suction."
"[…]the character may invest in the specialty of ejaculation control if male, or orgasm control if female. A male specialized in ejaculation control can delay his ejaculation until he is ready. A female specialized in orgasm control increases her odds of having an orgasm by 1 for each point invested. Each female already has a Base Odds of Orgasm (BOO), which is 1d100. The TH for orgasm is 100 - BOO - (points invested in orgasm control). Compare the skill check to the TH. A male specialized in ejaculation control increases his ability to delay ejaculation. Each point invested allows a male to delay his ejaculation by 60 seconds, if desired. The base time an erect male can delay his ejaculation from initial and continued stimulation is 300 seconds. However, many other factors affect orgasm control. Consult ‘ejaculation’ on the next page to obtain SF (Scrotum Fullness). Subtract SF from 100, to obtain Scrotum Emptiness (SE). Divide SE by 100 and multiply it by the base or modified time for ejaculation control. Next, consider the partner’s Bodily Attractiveness and Facial Charisma Skill Modifiers. Apply the average during the missionary position. Consider Bodily Attractiveness twice as important during doggiestyle. Consider Facial Charisma twice as important during fellatio, except for mutual fellatio. Apply the opposite of the modifier, such as - 64 becoming + 64. If the sexual stimulus is novel, then multiply ejaculation control by 0.2. If the sexual stimuls is not novel, but boring, multiply ejaculation control by 2. Finally, if a character is in puberty, then multiply ejaculation control by 0.2. If a character is middle-aged, then multiply ejaculation control by 2. If a character is in old age, then multiply ejaculation control by 3, and multiply it by 4 if the character is venerable."
"[…]the character may invest in the specialty of fellatio. Each SP invested in fellatio represents a new technique such as a trick with the tongue, lips, humming, or suction. During fellatio, the partner’s Bodily Attractiveness counts only half as much as Facial Charisma regarding the skill check."
"[…] the character may invest in the specialty of sexual positions. Each SP invested represents a sexual position known. During doggie style, the partner’s Facial Charisma counts only half as much as Bodily Attractiveness regarding the skill check. *Large differences in Debauchery between partners will cause a penalty to the impression of Sexual Adeptness (see Debauchery in Chap. 6: Sociality). Subtract one character’s Debauchery (D2) from the others (D1), divide the result by 100, and truncate the remainder. Apply the result as a penalty. For reference, the formula is below: [(D1 – D2)2] /"
"To determine the modifier for tightness, divide Manhood Circumference by Anal or Vaginal Circumference Potential. Multiply the result by 100, consider it to be Base Tightness (BT), and use the following parabolic formula: (BT – 80)2 = -4y + 120 Solve for y."
"The number of ejaculatory contractions is (4 + 1d6). The distance that sperm is launched in the 1st contraction is affected by Age, SF, Physical Fitness, Facial Charisma or Bodily Attractiveness, and novelty. To determine Ejaculatory Distance (ED), progress through the following: Consider Base ED to equal the Breadth of the character. Age penalties include - 25% for pubescent and middle age characters, - 50% for old age, and - 75% for venerable characters. Next, divide Physical Fitness by 100, and multiply ED by the result."
"Callous forged from the heat of furious masturbation"
"Breast-milk of breasts larger than D-cups"
"Corpse of the mother of the caster’s best friend"
"Corpse that has literally been pounded into dust"
"Couple in courtly love"
"Dismembered fibula from a flirtatious woman who is fat but also flat-chested"
"Dung remaining on an arm after full insertion into the ass of an ass"
"Girdle of a ‘but-her-face’ wench (see the Facial Charisma table in Chap. 3: Abilities)"
"Lock of pubic hair from an 11 year-old, and the hair must be 3 inches in length"
"Loose chin-skin of an elderly bastard"
"Lucky rabbit’s foot from an unlucky corpse"
"Hat of a hosier unhappy with her husband - reusable while she is unhappy with him"
"Hot wax dripped onto the caster’s rump"
"Honey that must be smeared on the caster’s genitals"
"Lard from an epileptic bugbear"
"Phlegm of a rodent with hiccups"
"Milk that has passed through the nose of a laughing character"
"Naval [sic] hair from a boy who has been spanked by his father thrice this week"
"Pubic hair of a Manhood that has entertained at least 50 different females"
"Freckles that have been scraped from a fisherman"
"Frost from the eyebrow of a recently killed soldier"
"Gemstone that has been worn in the concave chest of a freak for 1 month"
"Gargling with cum for the duration of the spell"
"Lock of hair from a bitch (any kind works) poisoned by yew (possibly by you)"
"Ounce of marijuana; must be smoked while casting"
"Pages of moral scripture must be wiped on the caster’s rump"
"Pantaloons of a bard"
"Papyrus leaf coated with a heavy semenal load that is still very white"
"Parchment that has been lifted so gracefully by the suction of a schoolgirl’s twat"
"Ring that has been lost in a vagina for 3 months or more - reusable (although it reeks)"
"Religious bread made of flour and the blood of infants"
"Pubic hair of a smelly little trollop who has an unkempt box"
"Rag of a menstruating bugbear"
"Sacrificial victim with diabetes insipidus who must be tied or chained to a stone altar, and will die upon casting."
"Semen of a humanoid vegetarian"
"Severed wrinkle of a grandmother"
"Silver from a mine within 10 miles of a kobold city"
"Shoes of a sucker - reusable for 1 year"
"Stew made of 1d10 puppies"
Heute, am 12. Tag schlagen wir unser Lager in einem sehr merkwürdig geformten Höhleneingang auf. Wir sind von den Strapazen der letzten Tage sehr erschöpft, das Abenteuer an dem großen Wasserfall steckt uns noch allen in den Knochen. Wir bereiten uns daher nur ein kurzes Abendmahl und ziehen uns in unsere Kalebassen-Zelte zurück. Dr. Zwitlako kann es allerdings nicht lassen, noch einige Vermessungen vorzunehmen. 2. Aug.
- Das Tagebuch
Es gab sie, mein Lieber, es gab sie! Dieses Tagebuch beweist es. Es berichtet von rätselhaften Entdeckungen, die unsere Ahnen vor langer, langer Zeit während einer Expedition gemacht haben. Leider fehlt der größte Teil des Buches, uns sind nur 5 Seiten geblieben.
Also gibt es sie doch, die sagenumwobenen Riesen?
Weil ich so nen Rosenkohl nicht dulde!
- Zwei außer Rand und Band
Und ich bin sauer!