"Norman, this isn't about you! Something is happening to me. And it's... it's not to get even, and it's not some warped bid for attention. Something is happening in our house, whether you like it or not!"

"You had an affair with a girl who threatened to kill herself, and now there is a presence in our house. A young, blonde girl. Don't you get it? She did it, Norman. She's dead... and now she's trying to hurt you... or both of us."

"[showing off her new convertible] It's a beautiful thing, alimony. You lose a husband, you get a car. Think it'll help me pick up dudes?"

"Are we hoping the ghost is going to have to use the potty?"

"No, no I'm not."

"Hello, Dr. Spencer."

"She looks like me. Oh... only she had green eyes."

"You're not yourself today, are you?"

"James Remar as Warren Feur"

"Miranda Otto as Mary Feur"

"You stole the dead woman's shoe?"

"Ray Baker as Dr. Stan Powell"

"What does she look like?"

"Harrison Ford as Dr. Norman Spencer"

"Oh, great! "Could you check in on my wife? She's hearing voices!" Yeah, wait until that gets around."

"Bruce Willis — Dr. Ernest Menville"

"Some people will go to any lengths to stay young forever. But Madeline Ashton and her old friend Helen Sharp are about to go TOO far."

"This is life's ultimate cruelty. It offers us a taste of youth and vitality, and then it makes us witness our own decay."

"Goldie Hawn — Helen Sharp"

"Meryl Streep — Madeline Ashton"

"In one small bottle... The fountain of youth. The secret of eternal life. The power of an ancient potion. Sometimes it works... sometimes it doesn't."

"Isabella Rossellini - Lisle Von Rhoman"

"En garde, BITCH!"

"Divorce? In California? That is exactly what she wants you to do. You have no talent for poverty."

"(Last lines. Helen and Madeleine shatter into pieces after falling down stairs) Do you remember where you parked the car?"

"(while confronting Madeline Ashton) Listen, that was a long time ago, you didn't steal him, he went to you. It wasn't you, it was him. I just want you to know something that I have never ever blamed you, never."

"Ernest! You pushed me down the stairs."

"(whilst peering through a gaping hole in Helen) You're a fraud, Helen. A walking lie and I can see right through you."

"(while confronting Ernest Menville) No Ernest, she has wasted you, she married a brilliant surgeon and turned him into an undertaker. I want you to know something, I have never blamed you for leaving me. I always knew it was her. She is a woman, Ernest, a woman, from Newark, for God's sake. I will never forgive her for what she has done to you. Never."

"Make some room for my friend, for Christ's sake. But... keep your ass handy."

"(after seeing herself transformed from drinking the potion) I'm a girl!"

"Wrinkled, wrinkled little star, hope they never see the scars."

"You're dressed. Special occasion?"

"Ernest, my ass...I can see... my ass!"

"Ernest is dead? Everybody's dead!"

"Oh, for Christ's sake. At least lie quickly!"

"Ernest, I'm in the morgue."

"And she even paid for the hardware. Don't you just love it?"

"She was a homewrecker, she was a man eater, and she was a bad actress."

"Ain't nobody can play dead like me, Ernest."