People From New York State

"The neurotic listens to weather reports about Small Craft Warnings, and he thinks: They're talking about me."

"There are three iron links in the neurotic's chain: unloving, unlovable, unloved."

"At the beginning of a love affair, not even the neurotic is neurotic."

"Neurotics would like to sleep all the time, and to be awakened only when there is good news."

"Neurosis is no worse than a bad cold; you ache all over, and it's made you a mess, but you won't die from it."

"The neurotic is always half-drowning in anxiety, and always being half-rescued."

"The neurotic thinks himself both Hamlet and Claudius, in a world that belongs to Polonius."

"The neurotic circles ceaselessly above a fogged-in airport."

"The neurotic longs to touch bottom, so at least he won't have that to worry about that anymore."

"Others settle for small rewards; the neurotic must always go for broke."

"The neurotic doesn't know how to cope with his emotional bills; some he keeps paying over and over, others he never pays at all."

"The neurotic has perfect vision in one eye, but he cannot remember which."

"No good neurotic finds it difficult to be both opinionated and indecisive."

"As we are human, we can't do what we can't do; as we're neurotic, we can't do what we can."

"Between two married couples there are five possibilities for friendship: man to man, woman to woman, each man to the woman not his wife, and couple to couple. It's seldom that more than two of these will actually materialize."

"When a woman reaches forty, she must wait twenty years for her husband to catch up."

"A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species."

"How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he's going to wind up wanting hasn't even been born."

"If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping."

"After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6 degrees of marriage!"

"The marriage of convenience has this to recommend it: we are better judges of convenience than we are of love."

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

"If the second marriage really succeeds, the first one didn't really fail."

"What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures."

"Love is often gentle, desire always a rage."

"I am as I am" is another way of saying "I can do without your love."

"We lavish on animals the love we are afraid to show to people. People might not return it; or worse, they might."

"The excesses of love soon pass, but its insufficiencies torment us forever."

"When a man comes to love a woman exactly as she had dreamed, she decides he is a weakling."

"When we have been humiliated by someone we love, it takes all our strength to pretend to recover from it."

"It is a feeling at once stimulating and flat, to know that someone you do not love is in love with you."

"The hardest-learned lesson: that people have only their kind of love to give, not our kind."

"Love is the silent saying and saying of a single name."

"When we first fall in love, we feel that we know all there is to know about life, and perhaps we are right."

"No one can understand love who has not experienced infatuation. And no one can understand infatuation, no matter how many times he has experienced it."

"Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before."

"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."

"Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones."

"No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved."

"Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and difficult as that."

"Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be."

"People who won't have a TV set in their house get more pleasure from their refusal than most of us get from TV."

"It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't."

"I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth."

"If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they'll stop making it tomorrow; if it's all three, they stopped making it yesterday."

"Whether or not you love television, you've got to admit that it certainly loves itself."

"A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners."

"Being Irish is, no matter how real, a pose."

"The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn't even know they carried."

"What a shame that allowances have to stop with the teens: both those that are paid to us and those that are made for us."