"Harry Caul is an invader of privacy. The best in the business. He can record any conversation between two people anywhere. So far, three people are dead because of him."

"Harry Caul will go anywhere to bug a private conversation."

"The Director: I'm tired of this lying, all right. I'm tired of lies!"

"I've gotta give credit where credit is due, right? I mean abracadabra, Harry. You see, I'm number two Harry. I have to try harder. The bugger got bugged, huh?"

"There is no moment between human beings that I cannot record and there is no method that I cannot figure out. I could figure out any of Harry's schemes, right?"

"This is a quad in the center of the city. These are steps coming in here, benches all around. Now it's 12 noon, which means that it's lunchtime for all the people that work in these offices around here. Okay, the people are walking, talking, having lunch and it's crowded. Two people are constantly moving in circles in and out of the crowd. We don't know whether they'll sit down or what. They're convinced that they can't be recorded because they're in a crowd and constantly moving. They're the target. Now the assignment is to get everything they say. How would you do it?"

"There isn't all that much you ever let me in on, Harry. You won't show me anything. You keep it all to yourself. You know damn well you will."

"We know that you know, Mr. Caul. For your own sake, don't get involved any further. We'll be listening to you."

"[to Harry] You know that means we've been watching you. We have the tapes. They are perfectly safe. The Director was very anxious to hear them as soon as possible and you seemed to be, I don't know, disturbed. I couldn't take the chance that you might destroy our tapes. You understand, don't you, Mr Caul? Our tapes have nothing to do with you. Why don't you come over now and bring the photographs? The Director's here and he's prepared to pay you in full."

"[to Harry] We want you to deliver the tapes on Sunday, one o'clock. The Director will be there. He'll accept the tapes from you, in person."

"[to Harry] I'm not following you, I'm looking for you. There's a big difference."

"Now look, don't get involved in this, Mr. Caul. Those tapes are dangerous. You heard 'em. You know what I mean. Someone may get hurt. Mr. Caul, be careful."

"[to Ann, in a dream] Listen, my name is Harry Caul. Can you hear me? Don't be afraid. I know you don't know who I am, but I know you. There isn't much to say about myself. I - was very sick when I was a boy. I was paralyzed in my left arm and my left leg. I couldn't walk for six months. One doctor said that I'd probably never walk again. My mother used to lower me into a hot bath - it was therapy. One time the doorbell rang and she went down to answer it. I started sliding down. I could feel the water starting to come up to my chin, up to my nose, and when I woke up, my body was all greasy from the holy oil she put on my body. I remember being disappointed I survived. When I was five, my father introduced me to a friend of his, and for no reason at all, I hit him right in the stomach with all my strength. He died a year later. He'll kill ya if he gets the chance. I'm not afraid of death but I am afraid of murder."

"Oh God, what I have done. I have to destroy the tapes. It cannot happen again. The family was murdered because of me. Oh God, no protection. I can find them wherever they go, and I can hear them."

"It had nothin' to do with me, I mean, I just turned in the tapes...What they do with the tapes is their own business."

"[to an exhibitor] I build all my own equipment. Thank you."

"[in a confessional] Bless me Father for I have sinned. Three months since my last confession. I - these are my sins. Took the Lord's name in vain on several occasions. On a number of occasions, I've taken newspapers from the racks without paying for them. I've - deliberately taken pleasure in impure thoughts. I've been involved in some work that I think, I think will be used to hurt these two young people. It's happened to me before. People were hurt because of my work and I'm afraid it could happen again and I'm - I was in no way responsible. I'm not responsible. For these and all my sins of my past life, I am heartily sorry."

"[on the phone] This is Harry Caul from upstairs...Yes, well, thank you very much. Thank you...You're really very nice, yes, but...what I wanted to talk to you about was how did you put it in the apartment?...What about the alarm? Oh you did?...I thought I had the only key...well, what emergency could possibly...all right, yes. You see, I would be perfectly happy to have all my personal things burned up in a fire because I don't have anything personal. Nothing of value. No, nothing personal except my keys, you see, which I really would like to have the only copy of, Mrs. Evangelista. As of today, my mail will go to a post-office box with a combination on it and no keys. Goodbye."

"Wow, I feel sore. I mean physically, not like a guy who's angry in a movie in the 1950's."

"Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times."

"I tell him about destiny; he's shaking his head. About dream girls; he doesn't care. I mention the underwear thing? He has a fucking conniption. And you? How 'bout it, filmgoer? Have you solved the case of the - the dead people in L.A.? Times Square audiences, please don't shout at the screen, and stop picking at that, it'll just get worse."

"It was the first time I felt how pitying someone and wanting to fuck them can get all tangled up in your head. Overwhelming sadness, meanwhile you got a Rodney. Is that sick? I think… yeah… I think that's sick."

"[voiceover] I was wetter than Drew Barrymore at a grunge club."

"Sex. Murder. Mystery. Welcome to the party."

"A bad week in a tough town."

"I sent Harmony home believing A, we'd meet tomorrow to go over her case, and B, I'm not actually gay. Please do not ask me how I did B."

"And that's how she got to the same party as me. Oh shit. I skipped something. Damn it. This whole robot bit. I made a big deal, then I like totally forgot. Fuck, this is bad narrating. Like my dad telling a joke. "Oh, wait back up. I forgot to tell you the cowboy rode a blue horse." Fuck. Anyway, I don't know if you want to see it now, but here's the fucking robot stuff for your viewing pleasure. Can I say "fuck" more?"

"Anyway, by now you may wonder how I wound up here. Or maybe not. Maybe you wonder how silly putty picks shit up from comic books. The point is, I don't see another goddamn narrator, so pipe down."

"Martin Balsam - Bennett Cross"

"Ed Lauter - Richard S. Striker"

"Michael Prince - Elliott Cass"

"Kevyn Major Howard - Stomper"

"Stuart K. Robinson - Jiver"

"Jill Ireland - Geri Nichols"

"William Redfield - Sam Kreutzer"

"David Fonteno - Frank Bauggs"

"Bob Lee Dysinger- Punk at Car #2"

"Alan Cooke - Punk at Car #1"

"Leo Kharibian & Hana Maria Pravda - Eli & Erika Kaprov"

"Tony Britts - Tulio"

"Marina Sitris - Maria"

"Alex Winter - Hermosa"

"Gavan O'Herlihy - Mandy Franker"