Lgbt People

"I think a helpful way for everybody to think about it is that I’m not on the spectrum: Everybody is on a spectrum. The human brain is on a spectrum, just as gender is."

"I couldn’t have written ‘‘Nanette’’ without understanding that I had autism. I don’t read the world the way other people read it."

"I built my career on writing jokes apologizing for myself. It’s what most people do. You have to explain who you are, and you point to a difference that you have. That’s your angle. But when it becomes the only reason you speak, it becomes an issue; all your material revolves around why you’re different. The great freedom post-“Nanette” was that I’d put all that on the table."

"There is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself."

"I am never not cross-referencing the trees with the forests, and it can be a very exhausting way to engage – but I wouldn’t change it for the world, because I believe communities need thinkers like me."

"Please stop expecting people with autism to be exceptional. It is a basic human right to have average abilities."

"I only wear blue clothes because blue makes me feel calm. I listen to the same music, watch the same shows, and eat the same foods over and over again without any qualms. I find joy in my life where once I couldn’t because I was too busy trying to do the “right” thing instead of checking in with my own needs first."

"I am unable to intuitively understand what I am feeling, and I can often take a much longer time to process the effects of external circumstances than neurotypical thinkers. But it is they who get impatient with me, and under that pressure I feel forced to guess my needs before I have had time to process stuff in my own way, and so mistakes are made...You know how sometimes you put your hand under running water and for a brief moment you don’t know if it is hot or cold? That is every minute of my life."

"I wish more than anything that I had known about my ASD when I was a kid, just so I could have learned how to look after my own distress, instead of assuming my pain was normal and deserved. There is no one to blame, but I still grieve for the quality of life I lost because I didn’t have this key piece to my human puzzle."

"As a coping mechanism for teenage me, masking was an incredibly successful tactic – I was only bullied intermittently during my school years – but as a catalyst for growth, it worked more like castration."

"...You shouldn't clap, that [was] a lie... I like to tell lies. According to Shakira, hips don't lie. Which makes me a bundle of contradictions."

"Ever since I can remember, my thoughts have been plagued by a sense that I was a little out of whack, as if belonging was beyond me."

"if you want to change the conversation, you really do have to step into the murky waters, don’t you?"

"everyone around the world has a humor"

"I do think conversations are at a point where we’re not listening to people with lived experience anymore. We’re listening to people who have really hostile reactive views, and that it’s caught up in a moral panic, which also has a very, very strong right-wing online presence that is stirring up the debate, and it’s fairly unacknowledged. I want to come from a more constructive point of view, like I am genderqueer. I have a life, and it doesn’t revolve around trying to justify my existence."

"I think there’s something also quite political about a genderqueer performer expressing joy on stage."

"Tasmania is famous for its shape, which is the same shape as the pubic hair region on a woman's body, which I personally don't identify with. Mine's more like a map of the former Soviet Union. Not to scale."

"I don’t want to circle the drain of trauma. I don’t want to be a one note comic. I want to have freedom of expression, and in order to do that, I need to train my audiences to not expect stuff from me."

"My mother doesn't like sex. She doesn't like the word, she doesn't like act, and I'm not entirely sure she's too impressed with the results. Ah well, you get out what you put in."

"He wrote with great care, and with a sharpness, vivacity, and variety of epithet that give immediate and continuing pleasure, but he was not in any serious sense a novelist or even a writer of fiction. His emotionally injured self is the sole character of his fictions, with everybody else seen through the haze of his paranoia, like figures in a fun-fair mirror."

"He was a confidence-man, pauper, tutor, blackmailer, paedophile, translator – and author of seven novels and a number of short stories. Rolfe was a trickster whose failed life stank to himself as to the few friends whom he had and betrayed. But he was a fascinating figure: a bore, but also a pseudo-Borgian freak whose vindictiveness and paranoia have deservedly become legendary."

"I have…read it with a good deal of amusement and enjoyment. The latter is due, I suppose, entirely to the subject – for everyone likes to imagine what a man could do if he were a dictator or Pope, or Caliph; the amusement is mainly at the author's expence. The style is one of the most preposterous I have ever read, and I doubt if I ever saw so much pedantry combined with so much ignorance."

"Rolfe's vice was spiritual more than it was carnal: it might be said that he was a pander and a swindler, because he cared for nothing but his faith. He would be a priest or nothing, so nothing it had to be…If he could not have Heaven, he would have Hell, and the last footprints seem to point unmistakably towards the Inferno."

"He seems to have been a serpent of serpents in the bosom of all the nineties. That in itself endears him to one."

"Cynthia: Of all the times to come out to your family, I had to do it right before the last presidential debate. Damn that John Kerry! Ginger: Cynthia, I'm sorry your parents are having a meltdown, but it's hardly John Kerry's fault. Cynthia: When he called Mary Cheney a lesbian, I felt like I had been drop-kicked. Ginger: Well, Mary Cheney is a lesbian, and you're a political football."

"I am what I am I am my own special creation So come take a look Give me the hook or the ovation It's my world that I want to have a little pride in My world and it's not a place I have to hide in Life's not worth a damn till you can say Hey world I am what I am."

"Mo: Thanks for the lentils! I have to go home now and rethink my priorities!"

"Toni: Well... straight couples get respect when they marry. Maybe we need to make some kind of symbolic affirmation of our commitment to one another! Clarice: You mean... Toni: Yes! Let's open a joint checking account! Clarice: Oh, darling! But this is so sudden!"

"Harriet: [making an excuse] Um... I'm looking for a copy of The Wheat-Free Guide to Creative Visualization in Co-dependent Past-Life Relationships. Mo: Huh. Jeez, I never heard of that one... Wonder if it's in spirituality or cooking."

"Mo: I... y'know, um... I'm really attracted to you! [thought bubble:] Omigod! Who said that?! Caption: A horrifying silence ensues. Is it an hour, or merely several seconds? Harriet: I've had a crush on you for months. Mo: Thank goddess! I was about to commit hara-kiri with my teaspoon!"

"Ginger: [hauling Clarice up stairs in a wheelchair]: This ivory tower needs some ramps! Clarice: What are you saying, Ginger?! Build ramps and anyone could get up!! The whole school would be overrun by black commie dykes in wheelchairs! Really, now!"

"Mo: Toni, come on! I know you're in a lot of pain, but you hafta look at the grand scheme of things! Listen, the environment is polluted beyond the point of no return, nickels and dimes are allocated for AIDS research while billions go into radar systems for blowing up civilians in the Persian Gulf, and we've got to spend the next two months being assaulted with hypocritical hype as two morally bankrupt white boys gear up for another electoral farce! Having a rough time in your relationship kinda pales in comparison, huh? Toni: Gee, Mo... thanks. I can always count on you."

"Lois: Good coffee, huh? Emma: Lois, I think you're a very attractive woman and I'd like to sleep with you. Lois: [chokes] Gak! Ahem! You don't - coff - fool around, do you? Emma: No, but I'd like to."

"Clarice: [proposing to Toni] I'll be your lawyer if you'll be my accountant."

"Clarice: [getting cold feet] There's still time! Toni: We can just call everyone and say we're terribly sorry but something came up and we have to leave town! Clarice: ...But what about the five gallons of baba ganoush, and all those tofu pups? Toni: Shit. I forgot. Well, I guess we'll just have to go through with it, then."

"Mo: Ginger, how can you think about sex at a time like this? Madmen are about to destroy the earth! Ginger: Can you think of a better time? I don't know about you, girl, but I want to have a G-spot orgasm before Armageddon hits."

"Ginger: Get off it, Mo. If I can't ogle, I don't want to be part of your revolution."

"Lois: Hey, Ginger! Are you masturbating in there or what? I wanna show you something! Ginger: [in the tub] If I'm masturbating, will you leave me alone? Lois: No! Check it out. How do I look? Ginger: Like a white girl in a black bra."

"Mo: Uh... sorry. I was just wondering why you're... you know... using that if normally you just use crutches. Thea: Well, the chair is so much more dramatic, don't you think? I use it when I want people to feel extra sorry for me."

"Lois: [intercepting a man in the women's bookstore] Can I help you find something, sir? Man: Um... just browsing. Lois: Hmm... I find that publication rather tame myself. Have you ever seen this one? This month there's a hot photo spread of three totally tattooed babes with strap-ons doing an armpit shaving scene. And if you're looking for a real thrill, check out the story, "She Came in Waves," in this new female ejaculation anthology! Man: 'Scuse me, I think I left my car at a hydrant."

"Sparrow: Listen, Mo. I have been doing crisis intervention with battered, homeless women and kids all week long. Tonight, I am going to vegetate in front of the TV. If you're so worried about Bosnia, go join the Red Cross."

"Thea: Didja make your quota, Lois? Lois: Yup. Kissed a woman from every state in the union. Rhode Island was a drag queen, though. Do you think that counts?"

"Miriam: Look, don't fixate on the due date. It's just an approximation. Only 5 percent of babies actually arrive on it. Most come later, in fact. Clarice: Great! How much later? Two days? Three? Miriam: Let me give you a friendly tip, Clarice. Don't get too hung up on keeping a tight schedule for the next, say, eighteen years or so."

"Clarice: To most people, it's obvious that the Whitewater allegations and the sexual harassment suit are politically motivated. And everyone else is too jaded to care if Bill fucks his cat. Raffi: Fucks! Toni: Do you want the honor of recording that under "Baby's first word," or shall I?"

"Mo: Thank you, Jillian, for that fascinating, uh, transsexual version of the Oedipus legend, "Oedipal Complex.""

"Carlos: Manly-Man Training Academy, Butch speaking! … OH! Señor Ortiz! Sí, this is Toni's number. ...¿¡De qué estás hablando?! ¡No! I'm not the father! I'm just the babysitter, I swear! ¿Qué?! You want me to marry your daughter? Well okay, but I'm keeping my own name!"

"Toni: Mamá... MAMÁ! I'm paying peak long-distance rates here. Could you save the Hail Marys until we hang up?"

"[A social worker has shown up to talk about Raffi's adoption during dinner with Toni's parents] Sr. Ortiz: What's going on here? Toni: Uh... mamá y papá, Gwynne... viene de la iglesia! ¡Sí, sí! Y viene para hablar... uh... del bautizo de Rafael! Decidimos que sería bueno que lo bautizaramos! (Mom, dad... Gwynne is... from the church! Yeah! And she's here to talk about, uh... Rafael's christening! We've decided to get him baptized!) Sra. Ortiz: Gracias a Dios! Sr. Ortiz: How very good of you to come, Sister. Gwynne: Back at ya, brother! It's a pleasure in this day and age to meet folks who are so supportive of their daughter's decision. Sra. Ortiz: That is unusual?! This country is even more wicked than I thought! Gwynne: Yes, it's a shame, but many lesbians' parents tend to disapprove. Sr. Ortiz: What does her being a … a homosexual have to do with it? Gwynne: Exactly, Mr. Ortiz! If only more people felt like you!"

"Lois: Oh, you guys have enough to worry about with your careers and all. You don't need to hear about my problems. Ginger: Are you kidding? I'd much rather hear about your problems than work on my dissertation. Lois: Thank you, Ginger. Considering you'd rather fellate Bill Clinton than work on your dissertation, that's very generous."

"Anjali: Oh, wow. I am tripping out that I actually get to work here! Being constantly surrounded by books! Bringing ideas, poems, and manifestoes to the world! How can you stand it?! Jezanna: That reminds me, Lois. The lube shipment just came in."