Humorists From The United States

"What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people."

"I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts."

"Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer."

"It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all."

"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."

"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

"The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you."

"There have been times when I've thought of suicide but with my luck it'd probably be a temporary solution."

"Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."