"I felt like we had a secret, just the two of us. Like that thing where you just wanna be with one person all the time. You feel like the two of you get something no one else gets."

"Christian Bale - Irving Rosenfeld"

"Michael Peña - Paco Hernandez/Sheik Abdullah"

"The car is a total wreck, and I'm a little stiff. But I don't want to talk about it."

"That's why I sent them [Mafia Henchmen] over there, because I know they were gonna knock some sense into you, and you were going to come up with a plan to get us out of all this. So thank God for me."

"Bradley Cooper - FBI Agent Richard "Richie" DiMaso"

"Shea Whigham - Carl Elway"

"Rebecca Pidgeon - Fran Moore"

"Sam Rockwell - Jimmy"

"Gene Hackman - Joe Moore"

"Delroy Lindo - Bobby Blane"

"Ricky Jay - Pinky"

"It isn't love that makes the world go round."

"You know why the chicken crossed the road? Because the road crossed the chicken."

"[pulling a gun on Jimmy] Your weight and your fate, right here. Your weight and your fate."

"[of his wife, Fran] She could talk her way out of a sunburn."

"Save the bold moves for the brilliant players."

"Are you fuckin' with me? Are you FUCKIN' with me? Or are you done FUCKIN' with me?"

"I hate to do anything as dramatic as count to three but one, two, three."

"Love makes the world go 'round... Love of Gold."

"[about Jimmy] Young, dumb and full of cum."

"What do you want me to do? Just pull up a chair while you rape me?"

"Everyone needs money. That's why it's called "money"."

"Danny DeVito - Bergman"

"Yevgeni Lazarev as The Pope (as Eugene Lazarev)"

"Philip Goodwin as Deputy Chief Renard"

"Thomas Derrah as Robert the Night Guard"

"Geoffrey Palmer as Commimissioner Joubert"

"John Cleese as Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus"

"Johnny Hallyday as Laurence Millikin"

"Karen Strassman (voice)"

"Christiane Amanpour as Herself"

"Jeremy Irons as Alonso Avellaneda"

"Aishwarya Rai Bachchan as Sonia Solandres / The Tornado"

"Andy García as Inspector Vicenzo Roccara Squarcialupi Brancaleone"

"Yuki Matsuzaki as Kenji Mazuto"

"Emily Mortimer as Nicole Nuveau Durant"

"Lily Tomlin as Yvette Berenger"

"Steve Martin as Inspector Jacques Clouseau"