"Because if you shoot a bullet, someone dies. When you drop a bomb, many die. You hit a woman, love dies. But if you say the f-word, nothing actually happens."

"You know, a few months ago, I made a terrible mistake. I realized something, and instead of crushing the thought the moment it came I... I let it hang on, and now I know it to be true. And I'm afraid it's stuck in my head forever. These are the best days of our lives. It's a terrible thing to know, but I know it."

"Philip Seymour Hoffman - The Count"

"I believe the technical term is a fuckload of boats!"

"Tom Sturridge - Carl"

"Jack Donner - Grandpa"

"Steve Wiebe - Jim"

"Skyler Gisondo - Connor McVie"

"Patrick Van Horn - Darryl"

"Carol Kane - Aunt Sarah"

"Colleen Camp - Aunt Donna"

"Jon Favreau - Denver McVie"

"Tim McGraw - Dallas McVie"

"Kristin Chenoweth - Courtney"

"Jon Voight - Creighton"

"Mary Steenburgen - Marilyn"

"Katy Mixon - Susan McVie"

"Reese Witherspoon - Kate"

"Robert Duvall - Howard McVie"

"Vince Vaughn - Bradford "Brad" McVie"

"Dwight Yoakam - Pastor Phil"

"Sissy Spacek - Paula"

"My childhood was like The Shawshank Redemption, except I didn't have some old, warm, black man to share my story with!"

"You really can't spell 'families' without lies. Try it."

"Woman! Do your job and swaddle this baby!"

"Boys, I don't want to speak ill of your mother on Christmas, but she's nothing but a common street whore."

"His father, her mother, his mother and her father all in one day."

"[as Joseph in the Nativity play] My wife is pregnant and it's not my baby, but yet I'm cool with it, because God's the one who got her pregnant."

"Creagen Dow - Sheep"

"Zachary Gordon - Kid In Jump-Jump (cameo)"

"Cedric Yarbrough - Stan"

"Noah Munck - screaming kid"

"Pour eux les fêtes sont un vrai cauchemar. (For them the holidays are a real nightmare.)"

"True Bella Pinci - Kasi"

"Brian Baumgartner - Eric"

"Do you know what's the difference between me and you?"

"You practice gymnastics, I practice everything!"

"Scott Mechlowicz - Dan Millman"

"The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination."

"Beatrice Rosen - Dory"

"Ray Wise - Doctor Hayden"

"There are no ordinary moments."

"Ashton Holmes - Tommy"

"Paul Wesley - Trevor"

"Tim DeKay - Coach Garrick"

"B.J. Britt - Kyle"

"Death isn't sad. The sad thing is: most people don't live at all."

"Nick Nolte - Socrates"