"G. Gordon Liddy: [Surprised by Betsy and Arlene in the Watergate stairwell] Children! Running around, all hours of the night! When you kids grow up, you'll be living in the Soviet Union of America!"

"Chip: [After sticking himself with an election pin] Figures that the pain in my ass is Nixon, the fascist."

"Larry: Whatever she's on, I didn't give it to her."

"He was tricky. They were better."

"The unmaking of the president"

"Kirsten Dunst - Betsy Jobs"

"Michelle Williams - Arlene Lorenzo"

"Dan Hedaya - President Richard M. Nixon ('Dick')"

"Will Ferrell - Bob Woodward"

"Bruce McCulloch - Carl Bernstein"

"Teri Garr - Helen Lorenzo"

"Dave Foley - Bob Haldeman"

"Jim Breuer - John Dean"

"Ana Gasteyer - Rose Mary Woods"

"Harry Shearer - G. Gordon Liddy"

"Saul Rubinek - Henry Kissinger"

"You don't mess with the big boys!!"

"I've got a way with young people. They trust me."

"Checkers - shut up! Or I'll feed you to the Chinese!"

"[After seeing Nixon's "I am not a crook" speech immediately after a threatening call] He's trying to drive me insane!"

"[Being followed by the President's 'plumbers'] Dick frightens me."

"I love Dick!"

"We have a very important school report on turquoise jewelry due in two days, and we can't find any books on it, and the President's having us followed. It's too much pressure."

"War is not healthy for children and other living things. [quoting a popular anti-Vietnam War protest slogan, originally created by poster artist Lorraine Schneider]"

"It's called incest, Arlene, and it's against the law."

"[Shouting, to Arlene] You can't let Dick control your life!"

"Mrs. Spinnler: Every lie is another brick in the pathway to hell."

"Bob Haldeman: You wanna complain about Vietnam? Talk to Johnson!"