"I'm gonna be watching you, and I don't care where you go. You can fuck off to Tibet, and I shall have men, nutters, from Parkhurst, dressed in yeti suits, up Everest, with meat cleavers ready to chop your tarty fuckin' legs off!"

"Pull your tongue out of my arsehole Gary. Dogs do that, You're not a dog are yer Gary?"

"Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a 'orrible cunt: me."

"Listen here, you fucking fringe. If I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm talking, and I'll cut your fucking Jacobs off."

"Goody gumdrops. Get us a cup of tea, will you, Errol?"

"[To Turkish] You are on thin fucking ice, my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks! Now, fuck off."

"I don't care if he's Muhammad "I'm-hard" Bruce Lee, you can't change fighters!"

"In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary … come again?"

"Now … we are fucked."

"Tommy persuaded me to keep the dog; I eventually agreed, as long as he took it to a vet. Couldn't stand that squeaking anymore. The vet found a squeaky toy, an undigested shoe, and an eighty-six carat diamond lodged in the dog's stomach. Lot can happen in a week. [The dog barks] Still didn't shut it up, though."

"[Voiceover] Ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? And hey presto, a car's nearly on you, so what do you do? You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before your eyes, 'cause you're too fucking scared to think – you just freeze, and pull a stupid face. The pikey didn't – why? Because he had plans on running the car over. It had previously occurred to me that the pikey had taken the demise of his mother rather lightly. For every action, there is a reaction. And a pikey reaction … is quite a fucking thing."

"You show me how to control a wild fucking gypsy, and I'll show you how to control an unhinged, pig-feeding gangster."

"[Voiceover] Boris "the Blade", or Boris "the Bullet Dodger". As bent as the Soviet sickle, and as hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard."

"Now, I know he looks like a fat fucker … well, he is a fat fucker … but he's dirty and he's dangerous."

"That's Doug the Head. Everybody knows Doug the Head. If it's stones and it's stolen, he's the man to speak to. Pretends he's Jewish. Wishes he was Jewish. Even tells his family they're Jewish, but he's about as Jewish as he is a fucking monkey. He thinks it's good for business. And in the diamond business, it is good for business."

"Hurry up, Tommy, before zee Germans get here."

"Not many people are named after a plane crash."

"[Voiceover] This is Tommy. He tells people he's named after a gun, but I know he's named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer."

"Mike Reid – Doug "the Head" Denovitz"

"Benicio Del Toro – Franky Four Fingers"

"Vinnie Jones – Bullet Tooth Tony"

"Lennie James – Sol"

"Robbie Gee – Vincent"

"Rade Serbedzija – Boris "the Blade" Yurinov (as Rade Serbedgia)"

"Dennis Farina – Abraham "Cousin Avi" Denovitz"

"Brad Pitt – Mickey O'Neil"

"Alan Ford – Brick Top Polford"

"Stephen Graham – Tommy"

"Jason Statham – Turkish"

"Stealing stones is hazardous."

"Now you see it, now you don't!"

"Stealin' Stones and Breakin' Bones"

"Various characters: [regarding Boris the Blade] Sneaky fuckin' Russian"

"Sol: [Vinny tries to open the outer door at the bookies] It won't open because it's a security door!"

"Franky Four Fingers: So the Biblical scholars mistranslated the Hebrew word for "young woman" into the Greek word for "virgin". It was an easy mistake to make, since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But it was the "virgin" that caught people's attention. It's not every day a virgin conceives and bears a son. So you keep that for a couple of hundred years, and the next thing you know, you have the Holy Catholic Church. Oy vey."

"Chinese Victim of Bullet Tooth Tony: [after shooting Tony several times without him dying] I shoot you, you go down!"

"Boris "the Blade" Yurinov: [referring to the gun he sold Tommy] Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work … you can always hit them with it."

"Boris "the Blade" Yurinov: You can keep the 10 large, along with the body. But if I see you again – you motherfuckers! – well, look at him. [points to Franky Four Finger's corpse]"