"Sy Greenblum: [In the "Spatula City" advertising commercial] Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company."

"Joe Earley: [after cutting off a finger with a table saw] Can you believe this?! Would you look at that! Just call me "Mr. Butterfingers"! I think it's on the floor somewhere. Is my face red."

"Richard Fletcher: [sarcastically, after having tripped up Noodles Macintosh] Awwwww, did I do that? Oopsie!"

"Crazy Ernie: If nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I'm gonna club this baby seal! That's right. I'm gonna club this seal to make a better deal. You know I'll do it, too, cause I'm crazy!"

"Badgers? Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!"

"For those of you just joining us, today we're teaching poodles how to fly."

"This is my ant farm. These little guys can lift fifty times their own weight. They also spend weeks digging these intricate little tunnels. And oh yeah, they really hate it when you do this! [Raul picks up the ant farm and shakes it] Oh look! They're really mad now!"

"Not many people know this, but the turtle is nature's suction cup. [licks the bottom of a turtle, throws it towards the ceiling] Look. It sticks."

"[speaking to the crowd at the telethon] Dear friends, I'm sure that one day you realize that by shutting down this hotbed of subversive activity..."

"(The broadcast which gets Channel 8 shut down by the FCC) This community means about as much to me as a festering bowl of dog snot!! You think I CARE about the pea-brained yokels of this town?! If you took their combined I.Q., and multiplied it by a hundred, you might have enough intelligence to tie your shoe, if you didn't drool all over yourself first!! I can't stand those sniveling maggots. They make me want to puke. But, there is one good thing about broadcasting to a town full of mindless sheep. I always know I have them exactly where I want them. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!"

"This is a business, not a home for irresponsible pus-brains!"

"Watch out, Mr. Coyote... Aww."

"This is pretty good watermelon...[pauses and considers]...Tastes like poop. I'm gonna eat some Corn Flakes.[grabs box of Corn Flakes] These are pretty good...WHOA!! Free toy inside! Free toy inside!! Let's find it. [rummages his hand in the box] Don't let your mom know that you do this."

"I'm thinkin' of something orange. Something orange. Give up? It's an orange. [laughs] Ok, now I'm thinkin' of something blue. Something bluuuuuue. [singing] DUN-DADA-DUN-DADA-DUN-DADA-DUN-DADA DAA DAAAAA!! [Thugs push him into the closet] Don't you like Bonanza?!"

"[Grinning] This is my new mop. My friend George, he gave me this mop. It's a pretty good mop. It's not as good as my old mop, I miss my old mop. But it's still a good mop. Sometimes, you gotta take what life gives you, 'cause life is like a mop. And sometimes, life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff, but you've got to clean it out. You gotta put it in here and rinse it out and start all over again. And sometimes, life sticks to the floor so bad a mop isn't good enough. It's not good enough. You gotta get down here with, like, a toothbrush or something, and really scrub, and if that doesn't work, if that doesn't work...you can't give up. You've got to run a window and yell, "HEY! THESE FLOORS ARE AS DIRTY AS HELL , AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!""

"WE DID IT! THE STATION'S OURS!!"

"[while sculpting a plate of mashed potatoes] This means something. This is important!"

"[Message left on Teri's answering machine] Teri! I'm sorry! Come on give me one more chance please! Come on Teri! Teri! Oh Oh I'm in hell! I'M IN HELL!! TERI TERI PICK UP THE PHONE!! PICK UP THE PHONE!! PICK UP THE PHONE!!! OH OH TERI!!!!!! PLE-HE-HE-HE-HEASE!"

"Right now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic coyote who spends every waking moment of his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner who MOCKS him and LAUGHS at him as he's repeatedly CRUSHED and MAIMED! [almost tearfully] Hope you ENJOY IT!!!"

"[to Satan] Oh, shut up, you pinhead! You make me SICK!"

"Oh, no. What time is it!? [arm with a watch breaks through the wall, George looks at the watch] Seven THIRTY!?"

"You gotta grab life by the lips and YANK as hard as you can."

"Look up! Look down! Now look at Mr. Frying Pan! [George conks Bobbo in the face with the frying pan] Uh-oh. Bobbo fall down go boom. Uuupsy-daisy...Aw, what's wrong, Bobbo? I bet I know! You're hungry, aren't you? [Bobbo honks his horn weakly] Have I got just the thing for you! Yes sir, clowns AND kids alike just can't resist the mouth-watering, lip-smacking taste of Mrs. Hackenberger's Butter Cookies! [He proceeds to stuff Bobbo's face with "cookies," which are actually dog biscuits; George has picked up the wrong box!!] Right, Bobbo? That's right! And guess what, Mom? They're nutritious, too! Just look at how much Bobbo here likes 'em! [cut to a revolted Bobbo] Mmmm, THAT'S GOOOOOD!! [Bobbo looks ready to vomit] And don't forget folks, there's a nifty surprise inside every box of Mrs. Hackenberger's...[notices his mistake for the first time] Heh Heh Heh, UH-OHHH!! [Bobbo turns and glares at Uncle Nutzy as if to say "WHAT Uh-Oh?!?"] Bobbo's been eating...YAPPY'S DOG TREATS!! [a look of horror crosses Bobbo's face, and he runs off to the "little clowns' room."] That's right, Yappy's Dog Treats! Your dog will love that real liver-and-tuna taste... [We hear Bobbo vomiting]... With just a hint of cheese...!"

"Sex with furniture, what do you think?"

"Lesbian Nazi hookers abducted by UFOs and forced into weight-loss programs, all this week on Town Talk!"

"Reese Witherspoon - Jennifer/Mary Sue"

"Marc Blucas - Basketball Hero"

"Jim Patric - Tommy"

"Lela Ivey - Miss Peters"

"Andrea Baker - Peggy Jane"

"Maggie Lawson - Lisa Anne"

"Dawn Cody - Betty Jean"

"Erik MacArthur - Will"

"Jane Kaczmarek - David's Mom"

"Paul Walker - Skip Martin"

"Marley Shelton - Margaret"

"Don Knotts - TV Repairman"

"J. T. Walsh - Big Bob"

"Jeff Daniels - Bill Johnson"

"Joan Allen - Betty Parker"

"William H. Macy - George Parker"

"Tobey Maguire - David/Bud"

"This movie is about the fact that personal repression gives rise to larger political oppression...That when we're afraid of certain things in ourselves or we're afraid of change, we project those fears on to other things, and a lot of very ugly social situations can develop."

"Parents need to know that Pleasantville raises many ideas about modern troubled times versus old-time simplicity, as well as freedom, responsibility and tolerance. The movie contains many sexual situations, as the naïve TV characters learn about sex for the first time, but the movie handles them gracefully. … High schoolers may appreciate the way that the twins, at first retreating in different ways from the problems of the modern world, find that the rewards of the examined life make it ultimately worthwhile. Parents and teens alike will find many things to think and talk about after watching Pleasantville, including the movie's parallels to (book burning) and American Jim Crow laws ("No colored" signs), and the challenges of independent thinking. Also intriguing is the path of Jennifer's character. At first, she thinks that it is sex that turns the black and white characters into color. But when she stays "pasty," she realizes that the colors reveal something more subtle and meaningful — the willingness to challenge the accepted and opening oneself up to honest reflection about one's own feelings and longings."

"It never rains, the highs and lows rest at 72 degrees, the fire department exists only to rescue treed cats, and the basketball team never misses the hoop. … Pleasantville is a false hope. David's journey tells him only that there is no "right" life, no model for how things are "supposed to be.""

"Hollywood satire is not usually this enjoyable: Both savage and silly, Pleasantville is an absolute blast."

"Ambitious, ingenious and visually breathtaking, Pleasantville is a rarity in contemporary filmmaking; a fully-realized vision that succeeds on multiple levels. Writer and director Gary Ross has crafted a wondrous experience that satisfies as a comedy, a fantasy, a drama and a parable. Movies don't get much better than this."

"The film observes that sometimes pleasant people are pleasant simply because they have never, ever been challenged. That it's scary and dangerous to learn new ways. The movie is like the defeat of the body snatchers: The people in color are like former pod people now freed to move on into the future. We observe that nothing creates fascists like the threat of freedom. Pleasantville is the kind of parable that encourages us to re-evaluate the good old days and take a fresh look at the new world we so easily dismiss as decadent. Yes, we have more problems. But also more solutions, more opportunities and more freedom. I grew up in the '50s. It was a lot more like the world of Pleasantville than you might imagine. Yes, my house had a picket fence, and dinner was always on the table at a quarter to six, but things were wrong that I didn't even know the words for."