"[to Jane] And if things had gone differently for me tonight then I probably wouldn't be saying any of this. I grant you everything. But give me this: he personifies everything that you've been fighting against. And I'm in love with you. How do you like that? I buried the lede."

"Holly Hunter - Jane Craig"

"Marc Shaiman - News Theme Writer"

"Christian Clemenson - Bobby"

"Jack Nicholson - Bill Rorich"

"John Cusack - Angry Messenger"

"Robert Prosky - Ernie Merriman"

"Lois Chiles - Jennifer Mack"

"Joan Cusack - Blair Litton"

"Peter Sellers - Chance the Gardener, a.k.a. Chauncey Gardiner"

"Shirley MacLaine - Eve Rand"

"Getting there is half the fun; being there is all of it!"

"There's an exhilaration in seeing artists at the very top of their form: It almost doesn't matter what the form is, if they're pushing their limits and going for broke and it's working. We can sense their joy of achievement — and even more so if the project in question is a risky, off-the-wall idea that could just as easily have ended disastrously. Hal Ashby's Being There is a movie that inspires those feelings. It begins with a cockamamie notion, it's basically one joke told for two hours, and it requires Peter Sellers to maintain an excruciatingly narrow tone of behavior in a role that has him onscreen almost constantly. It's a movie based on an idea, and all the conventional wisdom agrees that emotions, not ideas, are the best to make movies from. But Being There pulls off its long shot and is a confoundingly provocative movie."

"What is Being There about? I've read reviews calling it an indictment of television. But that doesn't fit; Sellers wasn't warped by television, he was retarded to begin with, and has TV to thank for what abilities he has to move in society. Is it an indictment of society, for being so dumb as to accept the Sellers character as a great philosophical sage? Maybe, but that's not so fascinating either. I'm not really inclined to plumb this movie for its message, although I'm sure that'll be a favorite audience sport. I just admire it for having the guts to take this weird conceit and push it to its ultimate comic conclusion."

"Melvyn Douglas - Ben Rand"

"The movie presents us with an image, and while you may discuss the meaning of the image, it is not permitted to devise explanations for it."

"A story of chance."

"This is just like television, only you can see much further."

"That was a very small room."

"[while watching Chance on television] It's for sure a white man's world in America. Look here: I raised that boy since he was the size of a piss-ant. And I'll say right now, he never learned to read and write. No, sir. Had no brains at all. Was stuffed with rice pudding between th' ears. Shortchanged by the Lord, and dumb as a jackass. Look at him now! Yes, sir, all you've gotta be is white in America, to get whatever you want. Gobbledy-gook!"

"I like to watch."

"Life is a state of mind."

"Jack Warden - The President"

"Oteil Burbridge - Lolo"

"John Harkins - Courtney"

"Elya Baskin - Karpatov"

"Richard McKenzie - Ron Steigler"

"Richard A. Dysart - Dr. Robert Allenby"

"Alice Hirson - the First Lady"

"Sam Weisman - Colson"

"Arthur Rosenberg - Morton Hull"

"Jerome Hellman - Gary Burns"

"Fran Brill - Sally Hayes"

"Ruth Attaway - Louise"

"Richard Basehart - US Soviet Ambassador"

"David Clennon - Thomas Franklin"

"Denise DuBarry - Johanna"

"James Noble - Kaufman"

"What could be worse than no television for a week? Try Hellevision for 24 hours."

"You're about to experience the wildest day you ever sat through. Bet your remote control on it."

"A comedy-adventure from the other side of the screen."