"[Holding Kate's diary] Makes very interesting reading... I read about why Max is deaf. How you were drunk and drove the car into the lake? If John hadn't been there, she'd be dead now."

"[To Kate] It must be hard, having such an ear for music as you, with a son who is not interested and a daughter who can't even hear."

"America Olivo - Amanda"

"Nick Mennell - Mike"

"Willa Ford - Chelsea"

"Ryan Hansen - Nolan"

"Arlen Escarpeta - Lawrence"

"Ben Feldman - Richie"

"Julianna Guill - Bree"

"Jonathan Sadowski - Wade"

"Derek Mears - Jason Voorhees"

"Aaron Yoo - Chewie"

"Travis van Winkle - Trent"

"Amanda Righetti - Whitney Miller"

"Danielle Panabaker - Jenna"

"Jared Padalecki - Clay Miller"

"You know his name. You know the story. On Friday the 13th, witness his resurrection..."

"Prepare for the day everyone fears..."

"Jason lives. Many will die."

"Welcome to Crystal Lake."

"I'm close, baby!"

"Well, you do know how to make a girl feel special, don't you?"

"Did you forget how to drink that? Just put it to your lips, blow, and suck."

"Your tits are like... so juicy babe!"

"This better not go on the fucking internet..."

"Your tits are stupendous!"

"I don't care about your damn lip, this is a family heirloom!"

"Oh, you like that? You like the balls in your hand, huh?"

"[sees Jason unmasked] What the fu-? That shit ain't fuckin' right dude!"

"[to mannequin] It's been a long time, Gina. You remember that special night we had? You remember when you took my virginity? You're sexy. You're still tight as ever. I wanna fuckin' pound you so hard."

"It's your fuckin' loss, dude! It'll fuck your shit up, boy. Good times. Fucker."

"I forgot, did you want to buy some weed? Seriously, I sprung a fucking shit-ton of it growing out there, a little bushel. Sell you some."

"Jesus Christ! Fuckin' lucky there, Stretch! You came about that close to hittin' the start button on the whup-ass machine, boy!"

"Are you kidding? I have a better shot at fucking a penguin than that girl."

"They don't call me the "wood wizard" because I masturbate a lot."

"Hey. Now, this is a real man's sport. You're even curved to the left, like my penis."

"Are you looking for this? Because, uh, it completes your outfit."

"Hi, my name is Trent. My daddy bent me over this chair and beat me when I was little, so you need to fix it."

"Hey! Here's to daddy issues and fucking douchebags. Let's just all be one big happy cliché!"

"In my next life, I want to come back as one of the buttons on the asspocket of her jeansshorts."

"[looking at a stuffed bobcat] That is a fierce pussy."

"Fine. To all the felching, welching, pussies of the world!"

"Shoot the boot!"

"Oh my God, babies have more space in the uterus."