Films About Rhinoceroses

"Rhinoceros!"

"I will not submit!"

"I hate the taste of alcohol, but if I don't drink, I feel awful."

"Daisy: Oh, they're singing!"

"John: Have you ever seen the plays of Eugene Ionesco?"

"Gene Wilder as Stanley."

"Karen Black as Daisy."

"Zero Mostel as John."

"Joe Silver as Norman."

"Robert Weil as Carl."

"Marilyn Chris as Mrs. Bingham."

"Percy Rodrigues as Mr. Nicholson."

"Robert Fields as Young Man."

"Melody Santangello as Young Woman. (as Melody Santangelo)"

"Don Calfa as Waiter."

"Lou Cutell as Cashier."

"Howard Morton as Doctor."

"Manuel Aviles as Busboy."

"Anne Ramsey as Lady with Cat."

"Lorna Thayer as Restaurant Owner."

"You just F**ked up with the wrong rhino..."

"Angelo Pike: He was jacked up higher than a prom dress in June."

"Tommy Cotter: [at a funeral] It's a shame this happened. Okay, now let's go pray and get shit-faced."

"Nora Wells: You're here to sell sugar and plastic."

"Merv Green: Wipe your forehead Frank, you got plenty of time to sweat."

"Merv Green: Eventually we all grow old and die, only sometimes the growing old part doesn't happen."

"Buggy Ding Dong I NEVER SAW VENICE! (Screams)"

"KidNet CEO Here at the KidNet Jungle, The rhino, Is Extinct."

"Get ready for an unexpected hit."

"He's Big, He's Blue, He's Smoochy... and He's got to DIE!"

"It's the Rhino vs. the Wino... with a little help from the mob"

"The Blackest Comedy on Children's Television!"

"It's a kids show... with gangsters, bribery and corruption!"

"Welcome to the Dark Side of Children's Television"

"We're all looking for a movie to take our children to, This is not that movie."

"Robin Williams"

"Edward Norton"

"I despise you... I LOATHE YOU!!! Bastard son of Barney! Die! Die, you stuffed ball of fluff! You illegitimate Teletubby! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker! Die! Die!"

"Jon Stewart"

"Danny DeVito"

"Harvey Fierstein"

"Catherine Keener"

"Even when you're squeaky clean, you can still fall in the mud."

"[Smoochy holds up a penis-shaped cookie made by Randolph] What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you dumb fuck! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! Yeah, it's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough."

"You better grow eyes in the back of your fucking head, you horned piece of shit, because I'm not gonna sleep until worms are crawling right up your foamy rubber ass! I'm going on a safari, motherfucker! SAH-FAR-I! [makes an elephant noise]"

"[to a baby, after framing Sheldon] Hello, little nipple-nibbler. The rhino's a Nazi!"

"[after getting egged] I've been shot! I'm bleeding! Salmonella! You're a lawyer! That's salmonella!"

"[after being assaulted by Tommy and her henchmen] All right, you spudsucking fucks! I'm suing your Riverdance ass! [heavy Irish accent] I'm gonna send you all the way back home, eh?!"

"[to Sheldon] Do not start with your magician's tricks, young Moses! I am Pharaoh! And you are my slave...and this is my kingdom! [starts singing to the tune of Old MacDonald Had a Farm] Rainbow Randolph is the man; Yes, oh, yes, he is! He's the king of Rainbowland; Yes, oh, yes, he is! With some fun, fun here and a laugh, laugh there, Here a dance, there a song; everything is fun, fun! Rainbow Randolph is the King [stars to cry] La, la, la, la...[covers his face]"

"Friends Come in all Sizes!"