"[responding to the question, 'At your funeral, what do you want people to do]: Party their balls off. Blow pot in my face and snort pills on my head, and...fuckin' rock and roll, baby!"

"When I met Dennis, I liked him 'cause he looked good. Feel me? And, you know, he had it going on; he had a job. And I love 18-wheelers, and he drove an 18-wheeler. And then he ends up screwing my cousin, and then I ends up stabbing his ass. But the night I stabbed him, it was cool, because my grandmaw—y'all know Maw Maw—she cleaned up the blood and hid the knife so there was no evidence, so they couldn't take me to jail."

"C'mon. I'll take you and cheer you up. You won't have to worry about this shit."

"I meant to slit his throat, and that's for real. I meant to kill that motherfucker."

"Come into this world with nothin', I guess I'll die with nothin'. But at least the world knows who the fuck we are."

"I'll tell ya straight up what I like. I prefer a Oxycotton, uh a Lorcet, a Norco, a Vicodin ES, a Percocet 10, a Xanax—especially a Xanny bar."

"I need a Corona. I gotta get the fuck outta here. My nerves is tore up."

"I want Dennis to see it 'cause I hate that motherfucker. I mean, I'm a people person and I can get along with the Devil, but I hate that son-of-a-bitch. I hate him."

"Shelton Hank Williams III - Hank III"

"Cheyenne Green - Cheyenne"

"Chris Messner - Chris"

"Charles Green - Bastard and Cheater"

"Randall White (no relation to the family) - Sheriff's Dept Randall White"

"Annie Mae White - Annie Mae"

"Les White - Les"

"Poney White — Poney"

"Virginia White — Virginia"

"Jerry White — Jerry"

"Billy Hastings — Billy Hastings"

"Brandon Poe White — Brandon Poe"

"Bernadine Cook — Bo "Bocephus""

"Tanya Faye White — Mousie"

"Susan Rae "Kirk" White — Kirk"

"Jesco White — Jesco"

"Mamie White — Mamie"

"Sue Ann White — Sue Bob"

"Bertie Mae White — Bertie Mae"

"They say they forgive me, but, you know. I shot dude in the face. And then again, I've been around 'em all my life, so I'm sure they still got love for me, but you know, I terrorized them, pretty much, and I'm sure they hate me for that."

"My judge likes me. We get along good. I think something's good gonna happen. I think I'm gonna home on an alternative sentence."

"They just wanna fuss, fight, and party."

"Boo Boo Judy! Call the law!"

"Fuck Boone County! And fuck the goddamn law!"

"Tylor White — Tylor"

"Guns, Pills, Violence......and Tapdancing"

"He thinks he's going home when he gets back to Boone County, but I got news for him, he's not. I'm holding him hostage."

"No parole. No shit!"

"Come on. We're gettin' ready to take you in the store that we got married in."

"The pharmacist was a preacher...a pastor, or whatever, and they took us over to the flower department and married us."

"I don't need no rehab. Jail was my rehab and now it's time to paaaarty!"

"I ended up shooting at the cops from November 21 to the 22nd, at 4:30 that morning when they apprehended me. It was one hell of a night. I just went on a rampage pretty much."

"A Portrait of America's Last Outlaw Family"

"It just happened."

"What you gonna do, Brandon? Shoot me?"

"Derek Wayne Castle — Derek "Derky""

"15 minutes later, Billy Hastings was laying up there puttin' his face back together. So you tell me who got the better end of that deal."

"Let me show you my no-good, son-of-a-bitchin' husband. His name's Charles; he's a bastard and a cheater."

"My ass don't stink."

"Billy called up here and he said, 'I'll bury you beside your cold, dead daddy, you motherfucker.'"

"She'll do anything and everything and all she can before she goes outta here...especially pills and stuff."

"You wanna hear the Boone County mating call? [Shakes bottle of prescription medication] Come and get it baby."