"[Bestowing precious cutlery to her son, having discovered his true identity] "These belonged to your great-great grandmother. I was saving them for your wedding day, but from the looks of it, that day... it's probably a long way off." ~ Blue Raja's mother"

""Dig this, Shovel Man!" ~ Tony C"

""Just... be... Roy. Okay?" ~ Monica"

""Flip the switch, lady. Don't stare at me, lift your left arm and flip it, you moron! You're a MORON! You're a MORON!" ~ Captain Amazing"

""This contraption is, in fact, a weapon of mass destruction. Casanova plans to turn it against the city at midnight." ~ Captain Amazing"

""Kill ya later — super-losers!" ~ Tony P"

""Okay, okay — the Six Very Nearly Dead Guys With a Temporary Reprieve. That's it! That's your name!" ~ Tony P"

""P.M.S. Avenger. I only work four days a month. Is there a problem with that?" ~ P.M.S. Avenger"

""I'm the guy that gave your daddy the shaft!" ~ Tony P (to the Bowler)"

""I believe in you, Daddy." ~ Roland (Shoveler's son)"

""Baby, you shovel better than any man I've ever known... but that does not make you a superhero. You're a good husband, and a good father. Nothing more." ~ Lucille (Mrs. Shoveler)"

""You know, tooth decay and gingivitis can be a crime. That's why I use Mighty Whitey toothpaste. Because I want my teeth to look — Amazing!" ~ Captain Amazing in TV commercial"

""You keep dreaming... wanna-be!" ~ Officer Maguire"

"Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet. It's the next inevitable phase."

"Wait — you have a Herkimer battle jitney? That's the finest nonlethal military vehicle ever made!"

"It's a psycho-frakulator! It creates a-a cloud of radically fluctuating deviant chaotrons, which penetrate the synaptic relays. It's concantenated with a-a synchronous transport switch that creates a virtual tributary! It's focused onto a biobolic reflector and what happens is, is that hallucinations become reality... and the brain is literally fried from within."

"I can trick that out with a clam-shell holster. It comes with a leather carrying case. It's got a wadcutter and a full warranty."

"That's a high-temperature fabric adhesive liquid projector, based on simple dry-cleaning technology. You aim that at a guy, and I'll tell you something: his clothes get so tight he can't even breathe."

"Totally nonlethal, but totally effective."

"I don't make anything that's deadly."

""No, no. I don't live here. I'm just here for the ladies." (at a nursing home)"

"Yes, of course, you may absolutely bring za brewskies."

""It is so easy to get the better of people when they care about each other — which is why evil will always have the edge."

"A fish-fork is no match for my machine!"