"I blew off my own goddamn toe. Just to numb the pain. Let me tell you something, we all get weak over women. We all get weak over women. Fuckin' broads are all nuts. They know how to kill us."

"[After a particularly unpleasant day of filming the bounty hunters' reality TV show, to Ian Ziering and Brian Austin Green, the hosts] This is going to jump-start your careers!"

"Listen to me... bitch. I don't think you know who the fuck you are dealing with."

"Sometimes a girl has to be naughty in order to get herself out of a jam. [Proceeds to perform a lap dance for a thug]"

"[To Choco from motel room door] Do you mind if I ask you a question? Do I look like I speak Spanish? Do I look South American to you? I don't understand a word you're fucking saying! You know what?! Ed's right! It's not cute! It's not fucking cute! It's never been fucking cute, Choco! I don't fucking understand you! You're a freak! [Slams motel room door in his face]"

"[Voiceover] That's Ed Moseby, the most legendary bounty hunter in all of Los Angeles. He's my boss, my mentor, the father I never had."

"[Voiceover] To say that Choco is the product of a broken home is to presume a home existed in the first place. No. Choco never had a home, well, not unless you count the ten or so juvenile correction facilities where he spent his child hood."

"[In tactical team bus to TV camera man] Turn the fucking camera off!"

"There are three kinds of people in the world... the rich... the poor... and everyone in between."

"[Voiceover] That's my best friend. His name is Choco. He's always fancied me, but too shy to ever do anything about it."

"I should let you know that Mr. Heiss will only be available to meet for about five minutes, so we should hurry up and cut to the point. Um, and speak in short sentences because he has the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth."

"[Voiceover] That's our driver Alf. He's from Afghanistan. He once ate a cat. We can't understand how to pronounce his fucking name so we just call him the cat eating alien."

"[Voiceover] After Dad passed on, my mum's agenda was to hit the town and find another husband with a boatload of cash."

"Put your fucking weapon down!"

"[Voice-over] I've been training since I was twelve. Knives, guns, throwing stars. You name it, and I can fight with it. I'm a hard worker. I'm a hard worker and a fast learner. Nothing scares me. I'm not afraid to die."

"[Voice-over] That night, my coin was tossed. Heads, you live. Tails, you die. 50/50 chance. Life or death. This ain't Sunset Boulevard. My destiny was life. Life as a bounty hunter."

"You tell Domino Harvey that nobody messes with Mark Heiss! Nobody messes with the WB!"

"[Voiceover] She decided to sock me and my goldfish Sammy away in boarding school. A week later, Sammy died. It was a pivotal moment in my life. I decided to never invest too much emotion in one thing. It's always a set-up to the pain of losing them."

"[Voiceover] Beverly Hills High for a spell, but it didn't work out. I hated them. I hated them all. College was even worse. Mum convinced me to join a sorority. It was all fun and games at first. Then the hazing started."

"Keira Knightley as Domino Harvey"

"[Voiceover] You're probably wondering how a girl like me arrived here, at the arse end of the Nevada desert with a blood-spattered Winnebago and a one-armed man."

"If you're wondering what's true and what isn't, fuck off, because it's none of your goddamn business!"

"Heads You Live... Tails You Die."

"[Voiceover] I've never killed anyone. I hope to never kill anyone, even if they deserve it. My agenda is to kick ass and secure the bounty. If I'm on this side of the law I can live the low life and avoid jail. I can live nasty and not do time for it. That's called the best of both worlds. As for that other world, that 90210 world, it's not for me."

"Stanley Kamel as Anthony Cigliutti"

"Based on a true story - sort of..."

"[Voice-over] I could feel the blood coursing through my veins. Shotgun in hand, kicking down a door and wondering if there was heavy firepower on the other side."

"[Narrates] My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter. You're probably wondering how a girl like me arrived here. What I say will determine whether or not I spend the rest of my life in prison. Let's start at the beginning."

"Mickey Rourke as Ed Moseby"

"[Voice-over] If you think America is dirtbag central, clearly you've never been to the skeeze nation of our queen mother."

"Take your vengeance, baby."

"So God gave trash like you wings. He never gave me shit! Fucker!"

"Sorry folks, I'd slice all your throats, but, I gotta get to the burial grounds."

"Jodi Lyn O'Keefe as Lauren Randall"

"David Stevens as Tommy Leonard"

"See this knife? This is the one I used to carve out your daughter's eyes."

"David Jean Thomas as Mercer"

"Dale Midkiff as Vincent Erlich"

"Well, wicked-ass props to you Mr. O.G. and thanks for representing all the homeboys."

"Gabrielle Woods as Old Woman"

"The Apocalypse is gonna be one hell of a honeymoon!"

"Debbie Fan as Barbara Chen"

"Eric Mabius as Alex Corvis"

"Danny Huston as Vincent Roeg"

"He'll be your homey now and forever more!"

"Bill Mondy as Phillip Dutton"

"Grant Shaud as Peter Walsh"

"What I got in me... ain't life."

"I heard you can grow body parts now, Eric. When I'm done, parts will have to grow back you."

"[To thug over Eric's body in bathtub] What the fuck have you done?"