"It would be really disappointing — not really — but it would depend on what’s inside the magazine. I don’t think Ivanka would do that, although she does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her."

"I did try and fuck her. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn't get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she's now got the big phony tits and everything. She's totally changed her look. I've gotta use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know, I'm automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything... Grab 'em by the pussy. You can do anything."

"They had a person who was extremely proud that a number of the women had become doctors. And I wasn't interested."

"I'll go backstage, before a show, and everyone's getting dressed and ready and everything else. And you know, no men are anywhere. And I'm allowed to go in because I'm the owner of the pageant and therefore I'm inspecting it. You know I'm inspecting, I want to make sure everything is good, the dresses, "Is everyone OK?", you know they're standing there with no clothes, "Is everybody OK?", and you see these incredible-looking women, and so I sort of get away with things like that."

"In many cases, I probably identify more as Democrat. It just seems that the economy does better under the Democrats than the Republicans. Now, it shouldn't be that way. But if you go back, I mean it just seems that the economy does better under the Democrats. ...But certainly we had some very good economies under Democrats, as well as Republicans. But we've had some pretty bad disaster under the Republicans."

"The concept of shaking hands is absolutely terrible, and statistically I’ve been proven right."

"Pregnancy is "a wonderful thing for the woman, it's a wonderful thing for the husband, it's certainly an inconvenience for a business.""

"My life is seeing everything in terms of "How would I handle that?" Look at the war in Iraq and the mess that we're in. I would never have handled it that way. Does anybody really believe that Iraq is going to be a wonderful democracy where people are going to run down to the voting box and gently put in their ballot and the winner is happily going to step up to lead the county? C'mon. Two minutes after we leave, there's going to be a revolution, and the meanest, toughest, smartest, most vicious guy will take over. And he'll have weapons of mass destruction, which Saddam didn't have. What was the purpose of this whole thing? Hundreds and hundreds of young people killed. And what about the people coming back with no arms and legs? Not to mention the other side. All those Iraqi kids who've been blown to pieces. And it turns out that all of the reasons for the war were blatantly wrong. All this for nothing!"

"[On "You're fired!":] There's a beauty in those two words. When you utter those words, there's very little that can be said. There's a succinctness to those words."

"All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected."

"People say, "Do you have the same opportunity today as you had years ago?" And I said, "Absolutely." You always have an opportunity. There's always an opportunity, especially in this country."

"I don't like firing people. It's not a pleasant thing and it's sad. ... In some cases, it's a terrible, terrible situation for the person who gets fired, how strongly they take it. So it's not something that any rational or sane person can love doing, but it also happens to be a fact of life in business."

"Watch, listen, and learn. You can't know it all yourself—anyone who thinks that they do is destined for mediocrity."

"In business—every business—the bottom line is understanding the process. If you don't understand the process, you'll never reap the rewards of the process."

"Get going. Move forward. Aim high. Plan for a takeoff. Don't just sit on the runway and hope someone will come along and push the airplane. It simply won't happen. Change your attitude and gain some altitude. Believe me, you'll love it up here."

"If you don't tell people about your success, they probably won't know about it."

"Now, if your boss is a sadist, then you have a big problem. In that case, fire your boss and get a new job."

"Trump: My daughter is beautiful, Ivanka Stern: By the way, your daughter, Trump: She’s beautiful Stern: Can I say this? A piece of ass Trump: Yeah"

"I love beautiful women, and beautiful women love me. It has to be both ways."

"I don't know how you do it. I've put together some really impressive deals, but this thing you've pulled off, it's amazing: a Big N' Tasty for just a dollar. How do you do it? What's your secret? Together Grimace, we could own this town."

"I've known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy. He's a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it — Jeffrey enjoys his social life."

"Donald Trump: Yeah, I guess so. I wish, uh, I wish the first time it was done correctly."

"Howard Stern: Are you for the invasion of Iraq?"

"I think the regulations are very tough, but I think they could be made tougher. And where they really have to be made tougher is when somebody is proven to be dishonest, not a mistake, not an honest mistake because look, people make bad business deals all the time. When somebody is proven to be dishonest, really harsh punishment has to take place."

"It's very possible that I could be the first presidential candidate to run and make money on it."

"I judge people based on their capability, honesty, and merit."

"So the Reform Party now includes a Klansman, Mr. Duke, a neo-Nazi, Mr. Buchanan, and a communist, Ms. Fulani. This is not company I wish to keep."

"I generally oppose gun control, but I support the ban on assault weapons."

"People want me to [run for president] all the time … I don't like it. Can you imagine how controversial I'd be? You think about him [Bill Clinton] and the women. How about me with the women? Can you imagine?"

"I'm on the conservative side, but [[Pat Buchanan|[Pat] Buchanan]] is Attila the Hun."

"The part of my life I think I'm most disappointed in is that I have not had the great marriage. And I would have thought that would have happened, because I came from a home—you know, it's not like some of my friends, they get divorced, but their parents were divorced twice or three times. I came from a home where marriage was just incredible. I mean, my parents truly loved each other."

"I surround myself with the best people. I know the best people."

"I'm conservative, and even very conservative. But I'm quite liberal and getting much more liberal on health care and other things. I really say: What's the purpose of a country if you're not going to have defensive and health care? If you can't take care of your sick in the country, forget it, it's all over. I mean, it's no good. So I'm very liberal when it comes to health care. I believe in . I believe in whatever it takes to make people well and better."

"“It’s amazing, I can’t even believe it. I’ve been so lucky in terms of that whole world, it is a dangerous world out there. It’s like Vietnam, sort of. It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave solider”"

"Let's make a deal; if you promise not to get "personal" with me, I will promise not to show you as the crude, fat and obnoxious slob which everyone knows you are. Sincerely, Donald J. Trump."

"Everybody's always blaming me for everything."

"Well, I think that she's got a lot of Marla [Maples, Trump's second wife], she's a really beautiful baby, and she's got Marla's legs. We don't know whether she's got this part yet [gestures toward own chest], but time will tell..."

"I am not a . I am not supposed to be going around checking s. That is what you have the FBI for, and they are very capable, the most capable."

"You know, if you’re young, and in this era, and if you have any guilt about not having gone to Vietnam, we have our own Vietnam—it’s called the dating game... Dating is like being in Vietnam. You’re the equivalent of a soldier going over to Vietnam."

"Howard Stern: So, you treat women with respect? Donald Trump: Uh, I can't say that either. Stern: Alright, good."

"I'm gonna be dating her in ten years."

"He's a good guy, and he's not going to hurt anybody. . . . He treated his wife well and . . . he will treat Marla well."

"Wow! Just think — in a couple of years I'll be dating you."

"You have to treat 'em [women] like s---"

"You know, it doesn't really matter what the media writes as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass."

"I said to the bankers, "Listen, fellows, if I have a problem, then you have a problem. We have to find a way out or it's going to be a difficult time for both of us.""