"(In regards to Robert and Nancy, who are retiring, selling their residence and having him and Dale live on their own as adults) Hold on; We're not going on the boat... Derek's selling the house... We have to go therapy? (Robert nods in response) WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?"

"(Wearing a Nazi outfit, to some home buyers) Hey, fuckers! Welcome to the neighborhood! My name is Craig. If you guys need any fertilizer, I've got a lot of it; Close to 80 tons. (to Derek, after the home buyers leave) Hey, Derek! Sprechen Sie Dick?"

"(At Derek's birthday gathering, during his and Dale's presentation of Prestige Worldwide) Last week, we put Liquid Paper on a bee... And it died."

"(Sleep-talking) I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy."

"(Playing with Dale's drumset, as he yells in one of the drums) FUCK YOU, DALE! FUCK YOU!!"

"(Banging Dale's snare drum with his scrotum) John Bonham's playing Moby Dick for real!"

"Mary Steenburgen as Nancy Huff-Doback"

"Richard Jenkins as Robert Doback"

"Eddie Rouse as Lance (Thug 5)"

"Brian Scannell as Thug 4"

"Connie Sawyer as Faye Belogus"

"Mark Whigham as Thug 3"

"Steve Bannos as Jared (Thug 2)"

"Peter Gray Lewis as Peter (Thug 1)"

"Robert Longstreet as Dr. Terrence"

"Jack Kehler as Walter"

"Sam Carson as Xerox Secretary"

"Omar Leyva as Guy in Car 2"

"Carlos Aleman as Guy in Car"

"Jeanettea Arentte as Sandra Danby"

"Andrew Head as Blake"

"Adam Crosby (actor) as Ack"

"John Robert Tramutola as Walt"

"George Lew as Old Man"

"Kendall Carly Browne as Old Women"

"Mae LaBorde as Mrs. Mendelson (final film role)"

"David McDivitt as Cop with Mole"

"Howard S. Lefstein as Mark"

"David C. Cook as Chris Gebert"

"Bobby Lee as Bobby"

"Dana Lee as Chung"

"Jonathan Spencer as Scientist"

"Cleo King as Police Liansion Officer"

"Arthur Napiontek as Clark"

"Ken Jeong as Ken"

"Joe Lo Truglio as Mr. Edwards"

"James Remar as General Bratt"

"Bill Hader as Private Miller"

"Nora Dunn as Shannon Anderson"

"Ed Begley Jr. as Robert Anderson"

"Danny R. McBride as Red"

"Kevin Corrigan as Budlofsky"