"Viewers have a chance to take a crash course in tastelessness by watching another piece of nouveau blaxploitation, where black people decked out in their bling-bling sing and dance to raunchy hip-hop music and eat fried chicken while sipping Alize. [...] An hour and a half of real airplane turbulence is better than sitting through the bad, offensive material that makes up "Soul Plane.""

"This is the bomb! [everything goes silent] What...? Let's dance!"

"I'm a player, but I don't play that way!"

"[in Spanish, to Muggsy]: I'll bet you have the tiniest penis."

"Now, how much Colt 45 to Sierra Mist do you mix to get bubbly? Probably half and half."

"[After hearing Muggsy say he's got a cock fight in 10 minutes] Cock fight? I'm in."

"[calmly, after a stewardess has whispered something into his ear] I'll handle this. [screams] THE CAPTAIN'S DEAD!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 33 thousand feet... 33 THOUSAND FEET? Oh shoot, man! We flyin' higher than Redman at the Source Awards!"

"Testicles, 1, 2... Testicles, 1, 2. Hey y'all, what's crackalackin? This is your soul plane chauffeur Captain Antoine Mack speaking. Welcome aboard NWA flight 069 from the 310 to the 212. It's time to bust this coney y'all. In a hot second, I'll be hittin' them switches and gettin' this bitch pumpin' and jumpin'. So screw your shoot on tight and enjoy the flight."

"[after seeing that business class has been turned into a casino] I'm going back to the front of the plane. When I get back, I want this to be business class."

"You know hard it is to get 84 inch tires?!"

"Everybody! Top deck! Drinks on me!"

"Kurt Vonnegut - Himself"

"Edie McClurg - Marge Sweetwater"

"Jason Hervey - Young Thornton"

"Robert Picardo - Giorgio"

"Severn Darden - Dr. Borozini"

"Ned Beatty - "Dean (education)|Dean" David Martin"

"William Zabka - Chas Osborne"

"Adrienne Barbeau - Vanessa Melon"

"M. Emmet Walsh - Coach Turnbull"

"Terry Farrell - Valerie Desmond"

"Sam Kinison - Professor Terguson"

"Paxton Whitehead - Dr. Phillip Barbay"

"Robert Downey, Jr. - Derek Lutz"

"Keith Gordon - Jason Melon"

"Burt Young - Lou"

"Sally Kellerman - Dr. Diane Turner"

"Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon"

"With the shape I'm in you could donate my body to science fiction."

"Please, try to understand. I don't have the background for this. I mean, the high school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity, he threw the teacher out the window!"

"Don't mind Lou - he's only the second generation in his family to stand up straight."

"Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes."

"I don't know. I can't figure women out. Today, they're... independent. They only think about themselves. Why, during sex, Vanessa - she used to scream out her own name!"

"Martin Short - Richard Kempster"

"Matt King - Cookie"

"Jimi Mistry - Councillor"

"Ludacris - Mickey"

"Jeremy Piven - Roman"

"Toby Kebbell - Johnny Quid"

"Karel Roden - Uri Omovich"

"Tom Hardy - Handsome Bob"

"Idris Elba - Mumbles"

"Mark Strong - Archy"

"Thandie Newton - Stella"