"Hic depositum est Corpus IONATHAN SWIFT S.T.D. Hujus Ecclesiæ Cathedralis Decani, Ubi sæva Indignatio Ulterius Cor lacerare nequit, Abi Viator Et imitare, si poteris, Strenuum pro virili Libertatis Vindicatorem."

"There's two words to that bargain."

"Sharp's the word with her."

"There was all the world and his wife."

"She pays him in his own coin."

"She watches him as a cat would watch a mouse."

"There is none so blind as they that won't see."

"'T is happy for him that his father was before him."

"Better belly burst than good liquor be lost."

"I thought you and he were hand-in-glove."

"I know Sir John will go, though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs."

"I always love to begin a journey on Sundays, because I shall have the prayers of the church to preserve all that travel by land, or water."

"I have fed like a farmer: I shall grow as fat as a porpoise."

"May you live all the days of your life."

"I'll give you leave to call me anything, if you don't call me "spade"."

"The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman."

"They say a carpenter's known by his chips."

"Lord, I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing!"

"She has more goodness in her little finger, than he has in his whole body."

"Fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives."

"You must take the will for the deed."

"That's as well said, as if I had said it myself."

"He was a bold man that first ate an oyster."

"Lord M. What religion is he of? Lord Sp. Why, he is an Anythingarian."

"I mean you lie—under a mistake."

"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."

"She wears her clothes, as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork."

"If it had been a bear it would have bit you."

"She looks as if butter wou'dn't melt in her mouth."

"She's no chicken; she's on the wrong side of thirty, if she be a day."

"I won't quarrel with my bread and butter."

"I hate nobody: I am in charity with the world."

"'Tis as cheap sitting as standing."

"The sight of you is good for sore eyes."

"Do you think I was born in a wood to be afraid of an owl?"

"A penny for your thoughts."

"So, naturalists observe, a flea Hath smaller fleas that on him prey; And these have smaller still to bit 'em; And so proceed ad infinitum. Thus every poet, in his kind, Is bit by him that comes behind."

"Hobbes clearly proves that every creature Lives in a state of war by nature."

"Where Young must torture his invention To flatter knaves, or lose his pension."

"So geographers, in Afric maps, With savage pictures fill their gaps, And o'er unhabitable downs Place elephants for want of towns."

"As learned commentators view In Homer more than Homer knew."

"It is a maxim among lawyers that whatever hath been done before may be done again, and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice and the general reason of mankind. These, under the name of precedents, they produce as authorities to justify the most iniquitous opinions, and the judges never fail of directing them accordingly."

"Poor Nations are hungry, and rich Nations are proud, and Pride and Hunger will ever be at Variance."

"I said the thing which was not. (For they have no word in their language to express lying or falsehood.)"

"He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in vials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers."

"And he gave it for his opinion, that whosoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together."

"I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth."

"He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than any of his court, which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders."

"The two maxims of any great man at court are always to keep his countenance and never to keep his word."

"When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign; that the dunces are all in confederacy against him."