Christian Mythology

"Eve, smiling, plucked the apple, then Laughed, sighed—and tasted it again: "Strange such a pleasant, juicy thing On a forbidden tree should spring!"But had she seen with clearer eyes, Or had the serpent been less wise, She'd scarce have shown such little wit As to let Adam taste of it!"

"“Had it not been for Eve, woman would have never acted unfaithfully towards the husband.” (3471)."

"Although her disobedience is tragic, Eve’s innocence is not all bad. Certainly, that innocence leads her to make a poor choice - the very worst - but the fact that she makes a choice at all, the fact that she engages the Devil in a debate which could go either way, the fact that she acts without God breathing down her neck - all speak for her free will or, what amounts to the same thing, her margin for error. It is from this margin for error that freedom springs, because you can’t be free to right unless you can be free to be wrong."

"After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her."

"Eve's temptation of Adam to sin, by proferring him a forbidden apple from the Tree of Knowledge, was generally interpreted as sexual; St. Augustine and others speculated on the nonsexual means of reproduction available to human kind before the fall. In pictorial representations Eve often holds the apple close to her breast, and the couple invariably hides their genitals after the fall. She is closely associated with the serpent, which in the bronze doors of Hildesheim (1015) inserts itself between her legs. The horizontal pubescent figure of Eve from the Cathedral of Autun, showing a repentance that is appropriate to the portal where sinners petitioned for pardon, is nonetheless conflated with the serpent gliding on its belly through the garden as its punishment. By the thirteenth century Eve may be somewhat voluptuous, but her face is often mirrored in that of the serpent, into which she gazes with homosexual desire."

"Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living."

"When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat."

"And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat."

"Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the paradise for women. It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of it."

"That man, the unsubmissive and first, stands in the opening chapter of every legend mankind has recorded about its beginning. Prometheus was chained to a rock and torn by vultures — because he had stolen the fire of the gods. Adam was condemned to suffer — because he had eaten the fruit of the tree of knowledge. Whatever the legend, somewhere in the shadows of its memory mankind knew that its glory began with one and that that one paid for his courage."

"While God created Adam, who was alone, He said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. He also created a woman, from the earth, as He had created Adam himself, and called her Lilith. Adam and Lilith immediately began to fight. She said, 'I will not lie below,' and he said, 'I will not lie beneath you, but only on top. For you are fit only to be in the bottom position, while I am to be the superior one.' Lilith responded, 'We are equal to each other inasmuch as we were both created from the earth.' But they would not listen to one another. When Lilith saw this, she pronounced the Ineffable Name and flew away into the air."

"This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

"And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat."

"Lord of the world, must I and my ass eat at one crib?"

"Adam lay ibounden, Bounden in a bond; Four thousand winter Thoght he not too long; And all was for an appil, An appil that he tok."

"Only the soul that is naked and unashamed, can be pure and innocent, even as Adam was in the primal garden of humanity."

"In the time of the First Manifestation the Primal Will appeared in Adam."

"I have not the strength, to provide food for the herd of Adam's descendants."

"Adam Had 'em."

"And [mention] when We said to the angels, "Prostrate to Adam," and they prostrated, except for Iblees. He was of the jinn and departed from the command of his Lord. Then will you take him and his descendants as allies other than Me while they are enemies to you? Wretched it is for the wrongdoers as an exchange."

"When Adam sinned it was not he who cried, 'God, where art Thou?' It was God who cried, 'Adam, where art thou?'"

"It is not permitted to think about Adam in another way than do the Jews. I will be quiet and I will not think."

"Christian mythology is made up partly from the ancient mythology and partly from the Jewish traditions."

"[According to] Genesis 6:1-6, there the 'children of God' have intercourse with women, producing a race of Nephilim, 'mighty men that were old, men of renown'. Enoch 6-11 describes how these heavenly beings (all named) teach the women about spells, root-cutting and plants, astrology, weapons of war, and cosmetics. The women give birth to giants, who turn to cannibalism and drinking blood. The earth cries out for help, and God orders the execution of the giants, the binding of the Watchers beneath the hill until the day of judgment, and thereafter in a fiery chasm."

"The Roman Christian mythology (and theology) discourages the vice of licentiousness, and so this is better than the heathen, but it encourages bigotry, hypocrisy, cant, and many another vice which the older Mother of Abominations kept clear from."

"In the Garden of Eden sat Adam, Disporting himself with his madam, She was filled with elation, For in all of creation, There was only one man – and she had’m."

"After several days absence from the Garden of Eden, Adam returned to find the lonely Eve sulking and suspicious of his actions. “Really, now darling”, said Adam, “How could you possibly be jealous of me? Don’t you realize that I am the first man and you’re the first woman – the only two humans in existence There just are'nt any others”. Yes, I know replied Eve. Still... Adam was finally able to soothe his wife and soon they both drifted off to sleep. In the midst of the wee dark hours of morning, Eve arose from her sleep, pulled the bearskin covering off Adam and then counted his ribs!"

"Surely God must have been disappointed in Adam: He made Eve so different."

"The Bible says that the last thing God made was Eve. He must have made her on Saturday night – it shows fatigue."

"The story of Adam and Eve takes a lot of believing. It’s probably just a rib."

"And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth: For God, said she, hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew."

"And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground."

"Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them. And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever: Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life."

"When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden. And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat."

"God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

"And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."

"It is and has always been God’s intention that we should live in friendship and harmony. That was the point of the story of the Garden of Eden, where there was no bloodshed, not even for religious sacrifice. The lion and the lamb gamboled together and all were vegetarian. Then the primordial harmony that was God’s intention for all God’s creation was shattered and a fundamental brokenness infected the entire creation. Human beings came to be at loggerheads, blaming one another and being at one another’s throats. They were alienated from their Maker. Now they sought to hide from the God who used to stroll with them in the garden. Creation was now “red in tooth and claw.” Where there had been friendship, now we experienced enmity. Humans would crush the serpent’s head before it bruised their heels. This story is the Bible’s way of telling a profound existential truth in the form of highly imaginative poetry."

"Adam's temperament was the first command the Deity ever issued to a human being on this planet. And it was the only command Adam would never be able to disobey. It said, "Be weak, be water, be characterless, be cheaply persuadable." The later command, to let the fruit alone, was certain to be disobeyed. Not by Adam himself, but by his temperament — which he did not create and had no authority over."

"After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her."

"Adam, man's benefactor — he gave him all he has ever received that was worth having — Death."

"Adam and Noah were ancestors of mine. I never thought much of them. Adam lacked character. He couldn't be trusted with apples. Noah had an absurd idea that he could navigate without any knowledge of navigation, and he ran into the only shoal place on earth."

"Let us be thankful to Adam our benefactor. He cut us out of the 'blessing' of idleness and won for us the 'curse' of labor."

"Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was, that they escaped teething."

"Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world."

"Adam was but human — this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent."

"It all began with Adam. He was the first man to tell a joke — or a lie. How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before. Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant."

"Adam and Eve, according to the fable, wore the bower before other clothes. Man wanted a home, a place of warmth, or comfort, first of physical warmth, then the warmth of the affections."

"The first idea was not our own. Adam In Eden was the father of Descartes And eve made air the mirror of herself, Of her sons and of her daughters."

"Ever since Eve gave Adam the apple, there has been a misunderstanding between the sexes about gifts."

"The Bible depicts a world that, seen through modern eyes, is staggering in its savagery. People enslave, rape, and murder members of their immediate families. Warlords slaughter civilians indiscriminately, including the children. Women are bought, sold, and plundered like sex toys. And Yahweh tortures and massacres people by the hundreds of thousands for trivial disobedience or for no reason at all. These atrocities are neither isolated nor obscure. They implicate all the major characters of the Old Testament, the ones that Sunday-school children draw with crayons. And they fall into a continuous plotline that stretches for millennia, from Adam and Eve through Noah, the patriarchs, Moses, Joshua, the judges, Saul, David, Solomon, and beyond. According to the biblical scholar Raymund Schwager, the Hebrew Bible “contains over six hundred passages that explicitly talk about nations, kings, or individuals attacking, destroying, and killing others. . . . Aside from the approximately one thousand verses in which Yahweh himself appears as the direct executioner of violent punishments, and the many texts in which the Lord delivers the criminal to the punisher’s sword, in over one hundred other passages Yahweh expressly gives the command to kill people.” Matthew White, a self-described atrocitologist who keeps a database with the estimated death tolls of history’s major wars, massacres, and genocides, counts about 1.2 million deaths from mass killing that are specifically enumerated in the Bible. (He excludes the half million casualties in the war between Judah and Israel described in 2 Chronicles 13 because he considers the body count historically implausible.) The victims of the Noachian flood would add another 20 million or so to the total. The good news, of course, is that most of it never happened. Not only is there no evidence that Yahweh inundated the planet and incinerated its cities, but the patriarchs, exodus, conquest, and Jewish empire are almost certainly fictions. Historians have found no mention in Egyptian writings of the departure of a million slaves (which could hardly have escaped the Egyptians’ notice); nor have archaeologists found evidence in the ruins of Jericho or neighboring cities of a sacking around 1200 BCE. And if there was a Davidic empire stretching from the Euphrates to the Red Sea around the turn of the 1st millennium BCE, no one else at the time seemed to have noticed it."