Aphorists

"Money is much more exciting than anything it buys."

"Insult, not flattery, is the great aphrodisiac."

"My doctor is nice; every time I see him, I’m ashamed of what I think of doctors in general."

"There’s an awful lot of blood around that water is thicker than."

"If everyone gave a tenth of his worldly goods to the person he most admired, the rich would just get richer."

"I do not trust those who are above name-dropping. The suppression of small vices always exacts too high a toll."

"When threatened, the first thing a democracy gives up is democracy."

"An artist is a socially unattractive person whom socially attractive people make money out of."

"How strange that the young should always think the world is against them when in fact that is the only time it is for them."

"If you must reread old love letters, better pick a room without mirrors."

"In church, sacred music would make believers of us all—but preachers can be counted on to restore the balance."

"Those who turn to God for comfort may find comfort but I do not think they will find God."

"The plague of government is senile delinquency."

"Charity is a good way of reminding God that if we can do it, He can."

"We climb mountains because they are there, and worship God because He is not."

"Sooner or later, they govern who are determined to."

"Be glad that you're greedy; the national economy would collapse if you weren't."

"There are a handful of people whom money won't spoil, and we all count ourselves among them."

"The past is rich in lessons from which we would greatly profit except that the present is always so full of Special Circumstances."

"I have seen messed-up people of forty who still seemed salvageable, and children of six or seven who almost surely were not."

"We have to call it "freedom": who'd die for "a lesser tyranny"?"

"What you were sure of yesterday, you know now to be false, but what you are sure of today is absolutely true."

"When a stranger identifies you from a friend's description, it's just as well you didn't hear the description."

"My religious position: I think that God could do a lot better, and I'm willing to give Him the chance."

""Your money or your life." We know what to do when a burglar makes this demand of us, but not when God does."

"Many things can make you miserable for weeks; few can bring you a whole day of happiness."

"The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol."

"Throughout our lives, we see in the mirror the same innocent trusting face we have seen there since childhood."

"Air that has been much quarreled in becomes very hard to breathe."

"We catch frightful glimpses of ourselves in the hostile eyes of others."

"We are all such a waste of our potential, like three-way lamps using one-way bulbs."

"If you can tell anyone about it, it's not the worst thing you ever did."

"The proud man can learn humility, but he will be proud of it."

"There is always some specific moment when we become aware that our youth is gone; but, years after, we know it was much later."

"A new wound makes all the old ones ache again."

"The best work is done with the heart breaking, or overflowing."

"Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom."

"Age is a slowing down of everything except fear."

"People are made of flesh and blood and a miracle fiber called courage."

"When suffering comes, we yearn for some sign from God, forgetting that we have just had one."

"We come late, if at all, to wine and philosophy; whiskey and action are easier."

"We work for praise, and dawdle once we have it."

"The fault we admit to is seldom the fault we have, but it has a certain relationship to it, a somewhat similar shape, like that of a sleeve to an arm."

"Even cowards can endure hardship; only the brave can endure suspense."

"You never realize how tacky your furniture is till you try to give it to the Salvation Army and they won't take it."

"Whatever we worship, short of God, is sure to be our undoing."

"We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still."

"Cash is the one gift everyone despises and no one turns down."

"Failure can get to be a rather comfortable old friend."

"If you are brave too often, people will come to expect it of you."