First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Your driver will be ready as soon as he puts on his pants."
"I read in an interview with Hugh Grant, he said he doesn't smile because it makes his face look fat. So I didn't smile in pictures for many years."
"Apparently, there are good and bad comas. And the kind that they put her in, the medically induced ones, are definitely the good kind of coma. Like you know how there are good and bad carbs? Gremlins, those can be good or bad."
"Look at me. Look me in the eyes when you fuck me! Look at me. PLEASE! (after fast-food worker refuses his order)"
"It’s just really hard to do standup comedy when your girlfriend is in a coma."
"(to Kumail) Naw dog. I'm not joking. You're not funny to me. You just make me sad. You make me sad inside of my heart, and it makes me sad to look at you. So I think you should probably go. Just go and tell my mom I want her. (Kumail is stunned.) Will you please get my mom?"
"So, uh, 9/11? No, I mean, I've always wanted to have a conversation about it with... (pauses) people."
"Azmat Nanjiani: (to Kumail) You should be stylish like your father. It's not very difficult. Just observe me."
"Sharmeen Nanjiani: Since when are you someone to stand up? You know who I think should stand up is Malala. She has something to say, she has something to say!"
"Naveed Nanjiani: Listen to yourself. You hardly sound Pakistani. "Cookies"? You sound like Julia Louis-Dreyfus. You're such a burger."
"An Awkward True Story"
"(...quote...)"
"Kumail Nanjiani — Kumail Nanjiani"
"Zoe Kazan — Emily Gardner"
"Ray Romano — Terry Gardner"
"Holly Hunter - Beth Gardner"
"Anupam Kher - Azmat Nanjiani"
"Zenobia Shroff - Sharmeen Nanjiani"
"Adeel Akhtar - Naveed Nanjiani"
Heute, am 12. Tag schlagen wir unser Lager in einem sehr merkwürdig geformten Höhleneingang auf. Wir sind von den Strapazen der letzten Tage sehr erschöpft, das Abenteuer an dem großen Wasserfall steckt uns noch allen in den Knochen. Wir bereiten uns daher nur ein kurzes Abendmahl und ziehen uns in unsere Kalebassen-Zelte zurück. Dr. Zwitlako kann es allerdings nicht lassen, noch einige Vermessungen vorzunehmen. 2. Aug.
- Das Tagebuch
Es gab sie, mein Lieber, es gab sie! Dieses Tagebuch beweist es. Es berichtet von rätselhaften Entdeckungen, die unsere Ahnen vor langer, langer Zeit während einer Expedition gemacht haben. Leider fehlt der größte Teil des Buches, uns sind nur 5 Seiten geblieben.
Also gibt es sie doch, die sagenumwobenen Riesen?
Weil ich so nen Rosenkohl nicht dulde!
- Zwei außer Rand und Band
Und ich bin sauer!