The Andy Milonakis Show

"Andy: I have no soul. Man: I don't have one either."

"Larry: Peas on my head, but don't call me peahead. Peas on my head, but don't call me peahead. Peas on my head, but don't call me peahead. Dinosaur: Shut the **** up!!!!! Larry: Aah! (runs away)"

"(bearded man quacks to Andy and cashier) Duck: Shut the **** up!!! Bearded Man: I just wanted to fit in!"

"Snoop Dogg: I'm the real ************* Snoop Do Double G! Who is this fat, red jumpsuited -- Larry: Why don't you just shut up, Andy? No one wants to hear what you want to say. Snoop Dogg: What'd you call me? (smacks Larry in the face) Henry: Dammit, im bored. Andy: (laughing) You smacked him! Snoop Dogg: Yeah, I did smack him. You get one too! (smacks Andy in the face)"

"Andy: ****!(crying)"

"Man: What the hell you looking at?"

"aaliyahs end song"

"Ralphie: The green thing and the hot lady is right, we're being rude! Andy: Peanutbutta slap!"

"Andy (typing into a typewriter): And zoom, the panda ate the sheriff's brain with a pair of chopsticks. And he was crowned the most beautiful animal in the whole room. The end."

"The caption of Andy's submarine sangwhich: Arg! I am the submarine caption! [to the first mate] Fire the torpedo, and take down the being! First mate: Eye caption, eye caption! (A torpedo hits Andy in the eye.)"