Poker Night 2

"Sam: Hey, I won again. I wonder what that means?"

"Max: [holding a chainsaw in front of Ash] Looking for something? Check it out, Sam! I'm a tree surgeon!"

"Ash: You're killing me here, GLaDOS."

"GLaDOS: (ring) Excuse me. I have to take this. Something or someone appears to be exploding back at the lab. (powers down)"

"GLaDOS: Management froze me out of the lighting systems after I created a strobe effect to induce seizures in a bus full of freemasons. It was an... illuminating experiment."

"GLaDOS: Brock Sampson has been eliminated."

"GLaDOS: Actually, my scans indicate that Mr. Williams' hand is fully functional, and its nervous tapping appears to be induced by an outside force. I'll see if I can isolate it."

"GLaDOS: The robot from Pandora is out of chips."

"GLaDOS: Congratulations. You've converted a nearly unbeatable hand into a victory."

"GLaDOS: It appears you have lost all your chips. Oh well. It's only money. Your money. $20,000 of it. Right down the drain."

"GLaDOS: Congratulations. You've won. I'm hoping you weren't expecting baked desserts, because I don't do that anymore."

"GLaDOS: Did you know that the term 'blinds' was coined by a blind poker in the 19th century? Of course you didn't. Because it's a lie. In any event, I'm upping the blinds to 1200 to 2400."

"GLaDOS: It's a mathematical certainty that 80% of you are going to lose tonight. And 100% of you will eventually die. (Beat) Math is fun, don't you think?"

"GLaDOS: Good evening. This completes the first test of the contestants' poker faces. Bad news is you all failed miserably. The good news is you appear to be evenly matched. (Departs)"

"GLaDOS: The player has been eliminated due to lack of funds. And intelligence."