National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

"Well I'm gonna park the cars and get the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the...season."

"[as an entourage of suits - led by Clark's boss - passes by single file] Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah."

"[the newel post is wobbly, so Clark cuts it off with a chain saw] Fixed the newel post."

"LOTTA SAP in here. [spits then give an "okay" sign] Looks great! Little full, Lotta sap!"

"[handing Christmas lights to Russ] Unravel these. We need to check every bulb. [pulls out a huge tangle of lights] Oop. Little knot here, you can work on that. [hands it to Russ]"

"I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas."

"Going for a new amateur recreational saucer sled land speed record, Clark W. Griswold, Jr.! Remember, don't try this at home, kids; I am a professional. Later, dudes. Let 'er rip. Hang 10! [pushes off; goes sledding downhill at ridiculously high speed] OH, SHIIIIIIIIIT!!"

"[sliding through a forest on his saucer sled, barely avoiding trees] This is great! It's great! I'm dead!"

"Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head! I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-… [kicks something] sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! HALLELUJAH! HOLY SHIT! Where's the Tylenol?"

"[last line] I did it."

"That right there is a RV, I got it off my buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV."

"[about Snot] He's cute ain't he? Only problem is, he's got a little bit a "Mississippi leg hound" in 'im. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town. You don't want him around if you're wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it's best to just let 'im finish."

"I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brain but a piece of government plastic."

"Clark, I'd like to try to fumigate this here chair, it's a good quality item. If you don't mind my askin', how much did she set you back?"

"[after finding out that Clark has received a "Jelly of the Month" club membership in place of a bonus] Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year."

"Audrey Griswold: Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?"

"Ellen Griswold: I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery."

"Ellen Griswold: Welcome to our home - what's left of it."

"Art: Hurry up, Clark. I'm freezing my baguettes off."

"Mr. Shirley: [picks up the phone receiver] Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting."

"Clark W. Griswold, Sr.: [extreme close-up] SQUIRREL!!!"

"Yule crack up!"

"There's No Place Like Home for a Holiday!"

"Chevy Chase - Clark Wilhelm "Sparky" Griswold, Jr."

"Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold"

"Juliette Lewis - Audrey Griswold"

"Johnny Galecki - Russell 'Rusty/Russ' Griswold"

"John Randolph - Clark Wilhelm Griswold, Sr."

"Diane Ladd - Nora Griswold"

"E.G. Marshall - Art Smith"

"Doris Roberts - Frances Smith"

"Randy Quaid - Cousin Edward "Eddie" Johnson"

"Miriam Flynn - Cousin Catherine Johnson"

"Cody Burger - Cousin Rocky Johnson"

"Ellen Hamilton Latzen - Cousin Ruby Sue Johnson"

"William Hickey - Uncle Lewis"

"Mae Questel - Aunt Bethany (final role)"

"Nicholas Guest - Todd Chester"

"Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Margo Chester"

"Brian Doyle-Murray - Mr. Frank Shirley"