"Ma'am, you were just the victim of a New York City mugger. As I suspected, he was a coward and a weakling, and also wore more cologne than any man should wear."

"Adam Sandler as Longfellow Deeds"

"Winona Ryder as Babe Bennett"

"John Turturro as Emilio Lopez"

"Allen Covert as Marty"

"Peter Gallagher as Chuck Cedar"

"Jared Harris as Mac McGrath"

"Erick Avari as Cecil Anderson"

"Rob Schneider as Nazo"

"Peter Dante as Murph"

"Conchata Ferrell as Jan"

"Harve Presnell as Preston Blake"

"Steve Buscemi as Crazy Eyes"

"Brandon Molale as Kevin Ward"

"Blake Clark as Buddy Ward"

"John McEnroe as himself"

"Radio Man as himself"

"Jennifer Tisdale as cardreader girl"