Jade Empire

"You’re beginning to sound like my wife. Where were you last night? Why were you talking to that woman? Why do you smell like a goat? Always with the questions!"

"I still can't believe it's that easy to become a Lotus Assassin. If I had known sooner I would have joined their ranks as soon as possible. It would be brutal work, with little reward, and there's a good chance I'd die a hideous, painful death, but it couldn't *all* be better than married life... could it?"

"[on being bound to the character] While my duties don't seem to have changed much, I find this form of servitude even more degrading than the kind my gentle wife imposes."

"[upon entering the Lotus Assassin fortress]I've seen many things in my life that scare me, many of them with you, I might add. This place terrifies me. My knees are shaking so badly I'm going to have bruises. These Assassins are very well trained. They obey without question, pay no heed to their pain or their needs, and they work tirelessly for their masters, with little reward. Come to think of it, they live a life much like mine. But then, they don't have to share a bed with my wife."

"Notice the painted face? This one only pretends at beauty."

"[upon entering the Lotus Assassin fortress] I hate the assassins. Can't they see the strings that pull at them? They are unquestioning, and even believe they do my father's bidding by following Death's Hand"

"[upon entering the Lotus Assassins fortress] I never expected to see the inside of this place, and, frankly, I wish I hadn't."

"You are meant to learn, but not too much. To see, but not too clearly. To succeed, but not completely."

"If you fail in your destiny, your true enemy falls with you. And if he falls, so do we all. You must win, but in doing so, you will lose."

"[when the player has learned her true identity] Names are fleeting, given so you kind can point and say "That is mine." All words... names, history, dreams... they die on your lips."

"[when guiding you through the underworld] I am the Water Dragon, Guardian of the underworld and shephard of the dead."

"I believed the words of my brother, thinking him wise beyond my understanding. Had I known what would happen, I would have fought to stop them both."

"[when player decides to use Water Dragon's power for to rule the Empire] This is where it begins. A question of the similar intent was the start of all our grief."

"To make things better... that was our wish. We failed."

"Gate Guard: [regaining consciousness] Ugh... my head feels like a war drum, and the battle did not go in the Empire's favor."

"Minister of Culture's Servant: [to the player] Your physique seems exceptional. Clearly you are a peasant- a noble could afford sloth."

"Lucky Cho: You should have won that fight, Zheng, but you suddenly developed that blind spot, didn't you! Did the glint of silver get in your eye?"

"Minister Sheng: Woe to Minister Sheng, that his only ally is an uneducated simpleton!"

"Student Lin: You could just be pouring honey in my ears, but that's not half as fun as other places it could go."

"Student Lin: [to male player] "Am I interested in you defeating me again, like you so often do? Oooh, of course I am! Imagine the gossip if we keep "studying together.""

"Gao the Lesser: So you are at their beck and call? A service animal for those too weak to protect themselves. That is an endless, foolish road. There are always victims, always weaklings. You could live a thousand lives, and still someone would be begging for your help."

"Yaoru: [upon being called a pompous ass by the player] Your jibes can nary prick the armor of my pride; they are blunted barbs forged by the sputtering flames of your lesser intellect."

"Rat Demon: [interrupted while searching the ruins of Old Tien's Landing] Ssss! Why you have to be here? Now me have to fight!"

"Cook Teh: "Oh, again you are here. What is it now? Maybe you need directions? I have a few for you, that's for sure.""

"Dishwasher Wong: "Don't trust him. His directions usually start out friendly but end up with a spatula in someone's nose. Why would anyone want to know how to do that?""

"Cook Teh: "Thank you, Mister Wong. Thank you for over-explaining the intricacies of my wit. Implied threats are ever so much more effective when they are no longer implied!""

"Cook Teh: "What is this, the third time you've bothered me? Go tell the customers in the teahouse their food will be late because of someone's nosy tour.""

"Dishwasher Wong: "He doesn't really mean that. I mean, if everyone showed up in town, sure, there would be some delay, but most people eat at home, you know?""

"Cook Teh: "Mister Wong... you are an imbecile.""

"Cook Teh: "Do thugs like you think you can just walk back here for food anytime? If I wanted *human* interaction, I'd have a kiosk in the square! Or maybe a trough.""

"Dishwasher Wong: "Why a trough? We don't feed the animals, Mister Teh. That's handled by the farmers.""

"Cook Teh: "Step back, Mister Wong. You just... step back.""

"Cook Teh: "You again? I really don't have time for you. How about you come back in a week. Maybe a season would be good.""

"Dishwasher Wong: "We can talk while we cut the vegetables, Mister Teh. We can make time if they need something.""

"Cook Teh: "Mister Wong... I hate you.""

"Cook Teh: "Oh, more interruptions. Look, I don't have any work, I don't need anything fetched, and I don't have any lost relatives for you to rescue!""

"Dishwasher Wong: "You said your nephew was lost. You don't want help finding him?""

"Cook Teh: Lost cause, Mister Wong, I said he was a lost cause. The boy was spoiled by my sister and.... Why am I telling you this? Just... go away."

"Spirit Monk: "You can come... but I'll be watching you!""

"Sky: "I assure you, I will be as devoted and capable as any of your other companions.""

"Kang: "Ha! If I could harness all that hot air, I could make a furnace to power the whole of the Imperial City! If you're done with all the talking, I have to go make the Dragonfly ready for some flying.""

"Shipeng: "Yes, yes, and yes! Ha ha! My skill and suavity as a merchant triumphs once more. Master Jiang will be pleased!""

"Dawn Star's response: "What an odd little man. It is as if a rat and a monkey mated." [laughs]"

"Sagacious Zu's response: "You know, there are several diseases that will result in a person appearing mad. They usually result from inbreeding or lack of cleanliness.""

"The Black Whirlwind's response: "This little man makes my eyeballs itch. I may have to kill him.""

"Sky's response: "This fellow may have taken a few too many blows to the head.""

"Wild Flower/Chai Ka's response: Mortals can be so strange at times...""

"The Black Whirlwind: "Well, you and me and Little Miss Magenta here. Maybe she can distract our foes, flash a little leg.""

"Dawn Star: "Would you like to see the damage these legs can inflict firsthand?""

"The Black Whirlwind: "Hmm. Feisty! I like that."