Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

"The juice is loose."

"I swear on my dead mother's soul."

"Bob, you and the boys stand guard. Nobody gets through."

"I'm needed upstairs. Bob, hold down the fort."

"I've never seen that chick before in my life or afterlife."

"You know, Bob, long distance relationships can be difficult, especially when one of you is dead and the other is ignoring you for thirty years. But Lydia and I, we have definite psychic connection, and I'll tell you something, she definitely saw me that last time. I felt a little tingle."

"Spill your guts. Who wants to go first? Alright, I will. [opens his shirt and his guts spill out like eels] See? I'm willing to do the work."

"First of all, I want you two kids know, this is a safe space, okay? Feel free to express yourself. Don't be afraid. I sense an enabler here, but we'll get to that."

"Really? Is this a figment of your imagination?"

"Really more nightmare material."

"We'd like to thank you all for coming to this very special occasion, but right now, I would like a little privacy."

"My ex-wife is back."

"Guilty as charged."

"What the (bleep)?"

"Hey, I'm into some freaky shit myself. But even I have my limitations."

"I think it was Dostoevsky that said..."Later, fucker!""

"Should've got married in Vegas."

"[Last lines] I just had the weirdest dream."

"[first lines] Come on in, if you dare. The living. The dead. Can they co-exist? That's what we're here to find out."

"Confronting the unknown, conquering your fears, there's nothing harder."

"When I was a teenager, a trickster demon terrorized my entire family and tried to force me to marry him, in order to come back to the real world for good. I believed he was gone forever, and then lately, I have been seeing him again. And now, he is actually back. And I don't know why, or how, or what to do."

"If you say his name three times, he will appear."

"Don't ever say that name!"

"Home! Home! Home!"

"I can't believe I'm doing this. Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!"

"I need you to help me save my daughter. But how do I know that you're gonna keep your word?"

"I want you out of my life!"

"[Ending her ghost talk show] I want to thank you all ghosties out there for all your support over the years, but this is my last show. I've spent so much time talking to the dead, it's time I started living. I want to make memories with people I love, rather than be haunted by them later."

"When you're all on your third kid and second divorce, we'll see who gets the last laugh."

"My mom grew up here, that old house on the hill."

"Sometimes, I think life is harder."

"Pain and suffering are always inevitable."

"Ghosts aren't real. Only gullible people believe that kind of crap."

"I swear, the Afterlife is so random."

"I'm trying to capture the perfect primal scream. I'm going to blow it up, mount it on the wall, and I invite all of you to do the same."

"Astrid! Stop torturing your mother!"

"I know this is a big step for you, but in the words of Dr. Glickman, I'm going to give you the push you need."

"You're a figment of my imagination."

"You're that thing from my dream!"

"Where is Beetlejuice?"

"BEETLEJUICE!!!"

"Your soul belongs to me, my love, for eternity!"

"Where's Beetlejuice?!"

"I made a hard target search for Beetlejuice."

"[Shows Beetlejuice a picture of Delores] Recognize this puss?"

"Lay low, Mr. Juice. She's a soul sucker."

"A live one broke into the Afterlife?"

"The wait is almost over."

"You've waited an eternity for this."

"The ghost with the most is back."