"a chiz is a swiz or swindle as any fule kno."

"grabber who is head of the skool captane of everything and winer of the mrs joyful prize for rafia work."

"Acktually fotherington-tomas is worse than me he is girlie and spend his time skipping about he sa Hullo clouds hullo…"

"Peotry is sissy stuff that rhymes."

"All latin masters hav one joke.Caesar adsum jam forte or caesar had some jam for tea."

"You kno who this is e.g. Me nigel molesworth the curse of st custard's."

"Meanwhile in the master's common room. Sigismund arbuthnot the mad maths master musters his rhomboids."

"Aktually it is only fotherington-tomas you kno he sa Hullo clouds hullo sky he is a girlie and love the scents and so…"

"Sometimes they think they will trick you into liking lat. by having a latin pla. Latin plas are like this –THE …"

"Every skool hav a resident buly who is fat and roll about the place clouting everybode."