Molesworth

"a chiz is a swiz or swindle as any fule kno."

"grabber who is head of the skool captane of everything and winer of the mrs joyful prize for rafia work."

"Acktually fotherington-tomas is worse than me he is girlie and spend his time skipping about he sa Hullo clouds hullo sky hullo sun etc when huge centre forward bearing down on him and SHOT whistles past his nose."

"Peotry is sissy stuff that rhymes."

"All latin masters hav one joke.Caesar adsum jam forte or caesar had some jam for tea."

"You kno who this is e.g. Me nigel molesworth the curse of st custard's."

"Meanwhile in the master's common room. Sigismund arbuthnot the mad maths master musters his rhomboids."

"Aktually it is only fotherington-tomas you kno he sa Hullo clouds hullo sky he is a girlie and love the scents and sounds of nature tho the less i smell and hear them the better."

"Sometimes they think they will trick you into liking lat. by having a latin pla. Latin plas are like this –THE HOGWARTS by MARCUS PLAUTUS MOLESWORTHUS"

"Every skool hav a resident buly who is fat and roll about the place clouting everybode."

"Foopball is a tuough game but it is a pity you canot win by hacking everybode. You hav to be nippy."

"He is my grate friend so i hav let him off litely. He is much worse than this aktually as his mummy call him 'darling' and kiss his ickle-pritty face. The old gurl must be blind. Or bats. Or both."

"His piece "Fairy Bells" on the skool piano will never be forgoten by those who hav heard it."

"A grave thort strike me:ALL BOOKS WHICH BOYS HAV TO READ ARE WRONG"

"Coo ur gosh i expect this is a bit of a shock especially for the gurls. As you kno it hav long been an open secret in 3b that i never intend to get maried. This hav been becos if you get maried it hav to be to a GURL chiz and hitherto my conviction hav been that GURLS are uterly wet and weedstruck."