Television Series On Dvd

""Garfield and FRIENDS? Who are these friends, and why haven't they brought food?" [From Episode 42 in syndicated airings only]"

""And pay attention; there'll be a test at the end." [from Episodes 42, 59]"

""And a special hello to all you wonderful Nielsen families out there." [from Episode 41]"

""Garfield and Friends is taped in front of an animated studio audience." [from Episodes 38 and 39]"

""Y'know, we're really running out of those silly lines I do at the start of each show." [from Episode 37 in syndicated airings only]"

""We've got to stop that chicken from writing on my logo every week." [from Episodes 36 and 37]"

""This offer void where prohibited. Some restrictions may apply. Batteries not included." [from Episodes 34 and 35]"

""Wouldn't I make a great ventriloquist? My lips never move." [from Episodes 32 and 33]"

""If you don't see this label, you're not watching a genuine Garfield cartoon." [From Episode 31 in syndicated airings only]"

""Don't try any of this at home, kids. We're professionals." [from Episodes 30 and 31]"

""Today, featuring Binky the Clown, so turn up the volume, kids!" [from Episodes 28 and 29]"

""I can't believe we get away with this every week." [from Episodes 26 and 27]"

""Sell your remote control. I'm the best thing on." [from Episodes 24 and 25]"

""Eat and be lazy, kids, and someday you'll have your own show too." [from Episodes 22 and 23]"

""Hey you, chewing the gum: I hope you brought enough for everybody!" [from Episodes 20 and 21]"

""A funny thing happened to me on my way to my cartoon show." [from Episodes 18 and 19]"

""In the interest of conservation, today's show will recycle most of last week's jokes." [From Episode 18 in syndicated airings only]"

""This show has so many mentions of pasta, it'll affect your cholesterol count." [From Episode 17 in syndicated airings only]"

""And just remember what you paid to get in." [from Episodes 16, 17, 40, and 69]"

""And remember, lasagna is an important part of your nutritious breakfast. " [From Episode 15 in syndicated airings only]"

""I suppose you're all wondering why I asked you here today." [from Episodes 14 and 15]"

""Hey you, the kid who missed last week's show: You'd better have a good excuse." [from Episodes 13, 46, 48, 63]"

""You notice how every week I say something different here?" [from Episodes 12, 43, 61]"

""Beware of imitations, accept no substitutes. Batteries not included." [from Episode 11]"

""Hey, Heathcliff! Eat your heart out!" [from Episode 10]"

""Don't forget, kids, look both ways before crossing your teacher." [from Episode 9]"

""So if someone wants you to change the channel, kids, just say no." [from Episode 8]"

""The Garfield Guarantee - no giant robots or annoying little blue people." [from Episode 7]"

""Pay careful attention, everyone; there'll be a quiz later." [from Episode 6]"

""This show is K-rated - no adults unless accompanied by a kid." [from Episode 5]"

""Maybe not as funny as pro wrestling, but a lot more realistic." [from Episode 4]"

""Smart kids watch this show; other kids change the channel." [from Episode 3]"

""I just checked the TV listings; I'm the only thing on right now." [from Episode 2]"

""You folks have this confused. I'm real, and you're animated." [from Episode 1]"

"Aloysius: Just what do you think you're doing here, may I ask? Orson: Oh, we're doing our version of the book Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak. Aloysius: This is a cartoon show, not Masterpiece Theatre. Strike the set! [From Kiddie Korner]"

""Warning! Do not remove this tag under penalty of law. Penal code 7756". [The tag Wade pulled off Orson's couch, from Wanted: Wade!]"

"Judge Orson: Wade Duck, you are charged with tearing the tag off a pillow. How do you plead? Wade: I did it! I did it! I'm glad I did it! [Laughs maniacally] And I'd do it again. Judge: I sentence you to 9,999 years in prison! Wade: [Sighs] At least I didn't get life.[from Wanted: Wade!]"

"Roy: Orson, tell me the name of the new worker in the tool shed. Orson: What. Roy: Tell me the name of the new worker in the tool shed. Orson: What. Roy: Who is the guy in the tool shed?! Orson: No, Who is fixing the roof. Roy: [grabbing the clipboard] I don't care about the roof! Where is the name of the guy in the shed? Orson: No, Where is the name of the guy plowing the field. Roy: Who's plowing the field? Orson: No, Who's fixing the roof. Wade: Orson, what is the name of the guy fixing the roof? Orson: No, What is the name of the guy cleaning the tool shed. Wade: Who's cleaning the tool shed?! Orson: No, Who's fixing the roof. Roy: Who is the guy plowing the field?! Orson: No, Who is fixing the roof. Where is the guy plowing the field. Roy: How should I know?! What is his name?! Orson: No, What is the name of the brother cleaning the shed. Wade: Whose brother? Orson: Of course. Roy: Orson, who is fixing the roof, what is the name of the guy cleaning the shed, and where is the other brother?! Orson: You finally got it. [from Who Done It?]"

"Maurice: I take people into fantasy sequences and show them what the world would be like if they had never lived. Wade: Oh yeah. Like that movie they show seven million times every Christmas. [from It's A Wonderful Wade]"

"Roy: (considering moving onto the Buddy Bears' show) You [the Buddy Bears] won't hit me with pies? Bobby Buddy Bear: Oh no! Billy Buddy Bear: We never hit anyone with pies! Bertie Buddy Bear: That's not educational and uplifting! All Buddy Bears: We never do anything that's not educational and uplifting! [from Big Bad Buddy Bird]"

""What luck. Jon finally gets a decent quantity of food in the house and it had to be yogurt." ~Garfield [from Twice Told Tale]"

"Wade: (looks at the "U.S. Acres Quickie" logo) Orson, what's a quickie? Orson: It's a short joke. Booker: (entering) I don't like jokes about being short! Orson: Well, it's not a joke about being short, Booker; it's a joke that is short. Roy: (entering with Bo) But couldn't you do a short joke about someone being short? Bo: You could even do a long joke about someone being short. Roy: Then that'd be a long short joke! Orson: Enough already! A quickie is a joke that's only 45 seconds, and it's-- Sheldon: (entering) Time's up! Wade: (as the camera fades out) Shucks! I never found out what a quickie was."

"Orson: (reading Rumpelstiltskin) After the king let the son out, the little man offered the son a deal. Rumpelstiltskin (Roy): You can keep your VCR if you can guess my name. Miller's son (Wade): Guess your name? Ha! That oughta be a cinch! Is it Fred? Rumpelstiltskin: No. Miller's son: Sam? Rumpelstiltskin: No. Miller's son: Elliot? Rumpelstiltskin: Nope! Miller's son: Jason? Rumpelstiltskin: No way. Orson: The son just kept on guessing far into the night... Miller's son: Irving? Floyd? Ichabod? Michael? Sidney? John? Paul? George? Ringo? Larry? Moe? Curly? Shemp? Howie? Frank? Rumpelstiltskin: Nope. Orson: ...but without success. Miller's son: Arbuthnot? Trallfaz? Sting? Prince? Engelburt? Rumpelstiltskin: Sorry, you only get one more guess. Pizzaman (Bo): Hey, like, hi there, Rumpelstiltskin. Qué pasa? Miller's son: I know it! I know your name! Your name is... Roy: (grabs the book from Orson) But before the duck-son could say the name, a hurricane came up! Orson: A hurricane!? Roy: Yes, a hurricane. And it blew the duck away, so he couldn't take his VCR back. Wade: Uno momento! Orson: Guys! Wade: Then a spaceship came by! And it rescued the handsome duck and flew him back to reclaim his VCR. Orson: Guys, stop this! Roy: But the rooster was determined to get it back with the aid of his trained dinosaurs! Orson: Trained dinosaurs? Where did the trained dinosaurs come from? Roy: Same place all those ninjas came from. Wade: But then the Third Marine Division landed with their Anti-Trained Dinosaur Squadron. Roy: But the Mole People were too smart for the Marines! Orson: Guys! [from The Name Game]"

""What do you mean this is the only show you could get me on? Isn't Hanna-Barbera casting? What about cable? I heard they're doing a funny version of Ren and Stimpy." ~Roy, talking on phone to Bernie [from The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster]"

"Roy: Orson! The chickens is missing! Orson: Shouldn't that be the chickens are missing? You see, chickens is plural, so of course you need a plural verb-- Roy: Oh, great! The weasel has the chickens, and you're teaching grammar! [from The Bunny Rabbits Is Coming!]"

""Man, I wish I had a line in this episode." ~Bo [from Cock-a-Doodle Dandy]"

"Booker: What do you get when you cross a lasagna-loving cat with a bunch of zany farm animals? Sheldon: You get picked up for another season. [from Show Stoppers]"

"Orson: Now I'd like to do a little dance for you. Roy: Don't! My earthquake insurance isn't paid up. Orson: I am not fat! I have the body of a supreme athlete! Roy: Well, give it back! You're getting it all stretched out of shape. Orson: Roy, aren't you supposed to be selling tickets at the door? Roy: What? And miss my chance to heckle you, Pignose? Orson: well in that case, I won't dance."[The entire audience applauds] [from Show Stoppers]"

""You are bullies! You are nasty swines, you are. I would say that you are not fit to eat with pigs, except for the fact that you are pigs." ~Wade, confronting Orson's brothers [from Show Stoppers]"

"Orson: Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Roy: No more than usual."