Radio Personalities

"Yes, our kids belong to you, boys are out of Boy Scouts, no more father and mother, yes, yes, yes. Whatever you say, Hillary. Whatever you say Pelosi. Whatever you say Shapiro. Yes, Mr. Shapiro. Oh god you're so manly! That face you make, you scare me! God Almighty, you might tear my arm out of my socket! You might skull annihilate me, you're powerful! You've got the manhood I want, Shapiro! Sorry, go ahead, Rodger. Roger! Shapiro's too powerful!"

"Hitler took the guns. Stalin took the guns. Mao took the guns. You know, 'political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.' And then if another crazy person everybody knew was going to attack goes and kills some people and then I'm to blame and all gun owners are to blame? Well, if somebody runs somebody with a car are they all to blame? Or somebody with a baseball bat? This is common sense and you've got a young high school senior teenager cussing to get attention to pull a stunt but none of use are supposed to talk about it because if you respond to him calling you a piece of this or a piece of that or his cohorts calling Dana Loesch a murderer and people are chanting 'burn her', well then you're a bully. That's why CNN wants to use this to kill the First Amendment, not just the Second Amendment! You have YouTube banning videos with guns, with citizens having guns or showing guns, but Hollywood and the video game makers can show all the guns they want. This is an incredibly discriminatory system!"

"But just look at [Brian] Stelter again. Put him on screen. I think that's all the broadcast should be, is just a photo of Stelter smiling. Ugh. Ugh. Oh my gosh. Oh, hell on earth. He wants to run your life. He wants to control every aspect of your life because he knows he is a cowardly degenerate sack of anti-human trash. I pledge before my heavenly father that I will resist them every way I can. These people are the literal demon spawn of the pit of hell. Look at him. And you know what, he is better than you if you keep letting him run your life. He runs your kids, he runs the schools, he runs the banks. This guy, this spirit, this smiling, leering devil that thinks you can’t see what he is. He is your enemy. Period. All the narcissistic devil-worshiping filth. I see you enemy. I see you enemy. Enemy. Enemy. You are my enemy. And I swear total resistance to you with everything I’ve got. Disingenuous, fake, false, brokeback, twisted, a defiler, a betrayer, a back stabber, a devil. You will pay. Yeah, you don’t think I see your face, scum? You don’t think I don’t see you, Stelter? I see you, you understand me? I know what you think of me and my family. I see you right back. You understand that? You understand that, Stelter? [Grunting noises] Stelter. You will fall. You will not bring humanity down. God is going to destroy you. Get him off the screen. [Crying] Oh, God, they’re so evil. Just please God, free us from them. They’re drunk on our children's blood for God's sake."

"Alec Baldwin thinks he is a tough guy, I challenge him a million dollars to the charity he wants to get in the ring with me, bare knuckle. I will, I'll do it right now. I'll get in the ring with you and I will break your jaw, I will knock your teeth out, I will break your nose, and I will break your neck. You coward, you think you're tough guy, messing with little cameramen people. You want to sit there and defame me and the president? Get in the ring with me, I will break your jaw in seconds. I will smash your nose into a bloody pulp, and I will whack your teeth out. My fists are going to bleeding with your teeth marks all over em. You frickin' bully, you coward. I hate you, my listeners hate you and remember that, scumbag, forever. Heh heh heh heh. We're going to defeat this anti-human scum, we're going to wreck their world."

"Out of the sewer, literal vampire pot bellied goblins are hobbling around coming after us!"

"You're supposed to get on your knees at midnight or in the early morning and tell God you repent on things you've done. You don't tell in a football stadium, “Mainstream media: you're my God, I am bad, tell me what to do.” That is sick.They're kneeling to political correctness and hating white people. They're kneeling to white genocide --- and then I don't want anybody to be genocided (sic). But everywhere it's: “Kill the whites, kill the whites.” The universities: “No whites can come on campus.” It's a bunch of weird white people going, “We need to kill all the white people.” Just everywhere. Hillary: “We lost because of white people.” It's the most racist, weird, anti-Martin Luther King crap I've ever heard. Martin Luther King would say, “You people are crazy.”"

"You God damned cowardly pieces of chicken neck filth. I'm going to sue your ass into hell, get ready!""

"Fuck you, Zuckerberg! Fuck you!"

"Clarence Thomas was called in -- and everybody knows, because he was the only other conservative guy and they killed the other one -- he was told, “It’s all over. Shut up. It’s over.” They threatened him. And Thomas wanted to leave the country. They threatened his life. And I didn’t get that from Drudge, so I’m not going to have a source. I got it from two other people. They told Clarence Thomas, “We’ll kill your ass, OK? Shut your fucking mouth and stop ruling like this or you’re going to be dead.” And then they killed the other guy, Scalia, because he wouldn’t go along with it. That’s the fucking shit we’re dealing with, people!"

"All across the world, humanity knows you’re the enemy. We’re gonna get you assholes, just know that. It doesn’t mean we’re perfect but we’re not out to screw women and children and hurt people. You understand that, assholes? You hate humanity because you project your own hatred of yourself on us, assholes. You want to kill us, how about you die?! Kill your fucking selves you fucking globalists!… Fuck yeah, fuck them! I’m sick of their shit, I don’t fucking care anymore!"

"​​Most of the so-called liberal lesbians and all these groups, they just want to have the guy with the duck's ass haircut and the James Dean outfit. The truth is, James Dean wasn't slapping girls around, but they want to be the ones slapping the girls around. And statistically, it shows it. I'm not blaming all lesbians, but it shows that most of these butch lesbians, they want to be the guy smacking the hot chick around. They think that's manly. And a lot of the chicks, they like it. See, because no man will do that to them. And I'm not saying it's good if a man does that, but some women like it. And if they can't find a man to smack them around, well they found them a girl going to do it real good. Knock them upside their head, and have 50 Shades of Gray about the sexy rich guy that's going to chain you up. Of course, you're going to get chained up one time. They're going to put that devil mask or that piggy mask on. They're going to say, "Now I'm going to torture you for about six weeks, so start begging for your mommy and your daddy." That's the liberals. They want to get you in a dungeon. They want to strap you down and take a buzzsaw and cut the top of your head off like a pumpkin and pull it off and get a little spoon and go -- when you're looking in the mirror, this is one thing I know they like to do -- and they go, I'm going to eat your brain now. Let's start -- let's start at the side areas here, because we don't want to take away your sight at the back or your thinking in the front. I'm going to eat your cerebral cortex last, because I've got power. I love Satan, and I'm going to suck you dry, and I'm going to torture you to death."

"I'll admit it. I will eat my neighbors. I'm not letting my kids die. I'm just going to be honest. My superpower is being honest. I've extrapolated this out and I won't have to for a few years 'cause I got food and stuff, but I'm literally looking at my neighbors now and going: I'm ready to hang them up and gut them and skin them and chop them up, you know what? I'm ready. My daughters aren't starving to death, I'll eat my neighbors. See, my superpower is being honest, I'll eat your ass. I will! I'm combat model, optimal self-sufficiency, probably the leader. The point is have you thought about that yet because I'm somebody that thought he could fix this and I'm starting to think about having to eat my neighbors. You think I like sizing up my neighbor, how I gonna haul him up by a chain and chop his ass up? I'll do it! My children aren't going hungry! I will eat your ass! And that's why I why the globalists to know, I will eat your ass first. You're not we're gonna dig you out of those bunkers, we're gonna dig you out of those holes, you make us eat up let me tell you something right now: I swear to God if it's the last thing I do I'm gonna get my hands around your throat and you know that's why you're begging for peace right now. You should've thought about that when you turned down Christ a long time ago. You wanna meet with me you Satanist!? Meet with me!? How about you get on your knees to Christ, you meet with my boss right now! But you can't do it. You think you can meet with some low-level nobody? I'm nobody! You think Christ would eat somebody? He would never do that. I will. I'm not gonna watch my daughters starve to death. Now you could say that was a metaphysical hypothetical but it's really not. Let's just get past the jokes here. Every actuary and government study from South Africa to the United States to Germany to Russia to Japan to South America shows in about 7 days almost everyone commits murder for food. Within 14 days almost everyone resorts to cannibalism or commits suicide. Now I would commit suicide before I did that, but my children are my weak place. I'll barbecue your ass flat. I will eat you! So all you spirit cookers act all tough all day, how you're doing your little satanic rituals drinking blood and stuff, I'll drink you blood! You understand that? I will, I will hang your ass up and cut you into cutlets like a filet mignon and grill your ass before I watch my daughters starve to death. See now you took society and civilization as it was some joke you could piss on all day. Didn't you understand you unleash the animal? Once you unleash the beast! And you're not the beast! I don't claim I'm the most tough guy around, but compared to you I, compared to you, I'm Godzilla on steroids! But just for the courts and everything I'm joking around here, I'm not going to eat anybody. Just like I said if it'd came down to me alone I'd starve to death before I did it. When my babies come into the equation, I will cook your ass up so fast, and I tell 'em: Oh, I killed a cow out back baby, here it is because my babies ain't gonna die for your crap, your failure. I will eat your leftist ass like corn on the cob! I'm ready! You wanna worship Satan, well guess what!? You're about to meet something worse, you dumb sacks of crap! You been pissing on civilization your whole life not knowing it's men held it up. It was savages held it up, because we knew how bad we were and we didn't want you to let us loose. But now you demand we pull the fist out and just shove it into your teeth. So good! Before I'll sit there and live off starving Latin Americans and Africans I swear before God, I'll eat one of these globalists on a spit! Oh, I'm a performance artist like they say. Alex Jones isn't real. Everybody knows I'm as fake as they come."

"There are real people. There are people that ain't out to get you and your family. There's real people ready to fight! And all you scumbag pedophiles the rest of ya, you wanna fight!? Get ready, you're gonna get it assholes!...turning loose on 'em!"

"What is that joke? What is that? What IS that? What is Hitler? What is Stalin? What is Mao? What is ALL this stuff? What is Venezuela?"

"I will not be stopped. Because I get on my knees and beg for something particularly, I don’t get it. But I’m not in a coma, got that? I’m not in one. I’m going to stop that Nazi piece of crap, and you’re going to stop him, and he hates our guts. Well, we’re coming for you—you got it?"

"I'm sure 'I used it all, just to be on the safe side' is not the greatest piece of scientific advice out there!"

"Itch thought that Jay seemed to spend all of her time either eating her potato chips or picking her nose. Today she was managing both, bag balanced on lap, one hand for each task. Classy, he thought."

"Maybe the body finds untapped reserves when it needs to; maybe the fear of dying makes it do extraordinary things."

"He turned and smiled at his class. "Morning boys, let's begin." His homeroom class had given up pointing out that they were more than fifty percent girls and just accepted that by "boys" he meant everyone. Mr. Watkins had come from an all-boys school in Edinburgh five years earlier and he was clearly not about to change the way he addressed his students."

"Ms. Glenacre was, it seemed, approaching her hundredth birthday and had never had a nice thought about anybody in her life."

"Grace Glenacre forgot that she had been sick. Now she was furious. "How dare you? How dare you?!" she shouted. "I don't think I have ever sworn at a member if the staff before, but I'm going to now." She swore at him. "I have no idea what just happened in there, but twenty-seven sick kids and one sick teacher is not hysteria." Her voice was rising. "It's not hysteria, do you hear me!" Flowerdew stood up. "You're clearly hysterical," he said. "We'll talk later.""

"…everyone called him Itch except his mother, whose bright idea it had been to name him Itchingham in the first place."

"There should be a law against parents using sarcasm, thought Itch."

"The school had been designated a "Science Academy" and attracted many sponsors: charities, eminent scientists, and a global oil company. The academy logo proclaimed: Together. Inspired. No one seemed quite sure what it meant."

"But the only person who was ever pleased to see him was Jack. She realized that Itch was a little different, but she was happy to tolerate that. When Itch started to tell her about the chemical composition of her Twix or why her apple was turning brown, she would just flick his ear or poke him with a pencil. "Don't be boring, Itch, or I'll tell you more about Gossip Girl." This mention of Jack's favorite TV show was usually enough to stop Itch in his tracks."

"Every kid should have a hobby—just not this one."

"Itchingham Lofte had caused explosions before. There had, in truth, been many bangs, flashes, and smells coming from his bedroom in the past. His multi-stained carpet and pockmarked walls were a testament to that. But there had been nothing like this explosion—it made even more of an imact than the small earthquake that had rippled under Cornwall a few months before."

"I don't know how they do it but those two love each other so much. They're this husband and wife duo that work together all the time and yet I've never seen them have an argument. I've never seen them kind'of roll their eyes at each other. I've never seen anything like that. They are the perfect example of a fabulous marriage."

"The thing about dancers is they're a certain breed. You don't do it to become rich and famous, you don't do it to have a really long career or to be the star, you do it because you can't imagine your life not doing it."

"If you think about how you sound on the radio while you are on the radio, you will fuck up how you sound on the radio."

"The stock market is not the economy, and the economy is not the stock market."

"When you’re young, hungry and stupid you’ll do whatever it takes."

"That dude was so funny even his standup work just captures like a sliver of how fucking funny that guy was [...] [O'Neal] walking into a deli to buy a newspaper was funnier than most comedians I ever met."

"I can say anything I goddamn want racially. And white people have to sit there and take it. (as white person) "I am evil, yes." I like to talk to white people about being honest about Obama. You gave it a shot. You did. You gave it a two-year shot. I'm mad at him (Obama) because I thought I would have a white slave by now! I thought it was vengeance day! I thought I had me a white family! A big old, fat white girl. Go warm my bed up-- get upstairs, Susan! Warm my bed up feed my baby with your giant white titties! I'm gonna go outside and stare your husband in the face and decide whether I'm gonna sell him or not!"

"Women want us to like them, but they don't even like each other."

"Sex is so much fun for dudes. Cause we got a money shot. You don't understand what it's like to see-- we both have orgasms, but we men have a receipt. You be like, I am satisfied, because that's what it is-- look at it! You don't think you'd be happier, ladies, if you could just shoot a couple of eggs in a guy's face? Right on top of his forehead. You wouldn't be happier? And he's just sitting there? And you go, "Aw, that felt good. Go in the bathroom and wash your face." Call your friends on the phone, "I just egged on top of his head." (as man) "Don't tell your friends our business!" (as woman) "Shut up, she already knows I egg on top of your head.""

"Having women work with men is like having a grizzly bear work with salmon . . . dipped in honey."

"Have your opinion, don't let your opinion have you."

"You gotta stop lying. You know… I mean it’s difficult to tell the truth, but you gotta start telling the truth cause it kills you, it takes something out of you when you’re…. a phony. You know, I’d rather die than to be phony really, cause… it kills me. And I’m…there’s nothing worse... like I’m depressed, but I’m not suicidal. Do you know how like… horrible it is just being to… to want to kill yourself but you just can’t, you won’t kill yourself? Do you understand what that is? So I had to figure out a way how to make myself happy….and that’s not to lie."

"(on the entertainment business) This business is the beast and it eats everybody and shits them out. But here's what's funny about the beast: it's a neverending line of people who want to get in the mouth and get chewed up and shit out. It's because, when you get in the belly, you get $2 million a week. And when you get shit out, you're a pile back there. And you have the option to wait to get back in line, and wait to go get back in the beast, and get eaten and shit out! And we line up! ... And I didn't even get to the beast yet. 20 years! See, when the beast pick you up, to put you in its mouth, you shinin'. People see you. Sometimes, see what "15 minutes of fame" is? The beast throws somebody down, they-- that was reality (show) people. This one was an athlete that had one good year. And you throw him down. Now, you see, "Ooh, that looks like a delicious young thing there." Eat, chew... That's why I love Charlie Sheen so much-- he was in the belly. When you making $2 million a week doing anything, you're in the absolute belly, and for that fucker to betray his position in the belly, to actually give the beast indigestion, was spectacular. He was a martyr. And Mel Gibson, too! He could have been the beast, he was so big. And they turned on him, you know what I'm saying? So, anybody that gets that deep and turns on the beast, man, you've got to root for him, no matter what, because they're martyrs, because no one's going to stand up for them. And then, Hollywood, they tell you who to hate. Like when they rose up against him, to not be on The Hangover 2. The movie was about trannies, fucking people in the ass, drugs, death, and Mike Tyson, who got a rape conviction. And you motherfuckers decide to gang up on Mel Gibson? He can't play a tattoo artist in The Hangover 2?! Come on, man. It's not hypocrisy, because that's a human thing. It's something else... it's somebody owe somebody the favor."

"(on the killing of Osama Bin Laden) I watched the Bin Laden thing, and you know, there's what's called the "conspiracy nuts" and whatever, and the thing that gets me is that when there is one little question, that makes you go, "What?" That we don't galvanize and say, "No, no, no, you're not allowed to say anything else until we cover this. Give me a straight answer, because flushing Bin Laden down the ocean, like he's cocaine, from The Goodfellas, it doesn't prove anything." You know, somebody like (Sean) Hannity would make me sound like a complete idiot if I went on his show and went, "He flushed him down the fucking ocean!" But, it's just, you go, "There's nothing that makes you go, what?""

"This is my question, for life: have we retired the phrase, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me"? Is it legal for me to say, "I endorse hate speech, I don't give a fuck"? I want hate speech. Why can't I hate you...in speech?"

"A beautiful 35-year old ain't as good-looking as an ugly 19-year old."

"If you tell me 2 + 2 is 4, and I know it is, then you... shove marbles up your ass, I go "Damn, Anthony shoves marbles in his ass?" But [the fact that you shove marbles in your ass] doesn't invalidate 2 + 2 = 4."

"I just think the closer we (as a species) think we get to God, the closer we get to death."

"(after host Anthony Cumia complained that a black, female bartender once refused to give him an extra drink, even after he had tipped her $20) Let me tell you, black people are very sensitive about context. (You meant), "Sweetie, no disrespect, here's a twenty," but (she took it as), "Here, fat nigga-lean, take this twenty and you will be giving me my beers, all day, at my request, you fat fuck." She smelled it on you, so she said, "Take your twenty and shove it up your ass, cracker devil.""

"I generally don't like living in a world where being what a man is, is a horrible thing; and no matter what a woman is, is a wonderful thing."

"People always say "Don't you support the troops?" But the troops are an entity that just follows orders. It's not about individuals or people. So when I say "I don't support the troops", I'm saying I don't support the bankers and politicians who are making them do what they do."

"Men want to be alone, but we don't wanna be by ourselves."

"I said to my girl, "The reason you have a key (to my house) is to keep me from having other women in my house. I give you an open invitation." See, she wants me to go, "Because I love you and I trust you, and I want you to trust me." It's because the fear of my girl walking in will keep me from having a young broad sitting on top of my counter. But she wants that to be because I love her so much, but it's just to protect me from my own manness."