"And such is victory, and such is Man! At least nine tenths of what we call so; —God May have another name for half we scan As human beings, or his ways are odd.""

"All human history attests That happiness for man—the hungry sinner!— Since Eve ate apples, much depends on dinner."

"Society is now one polish'd horde, Form'd of two mighty tribes, the Bores and Bored."

"If all these seem a heterogeneous mass To be assembled at a country seat, Yet think, a specimen of every class Is better than a humdrum tete-a-tete. The days of Comedy are gone, alas! When Congreve's fool could vie with Molière's bête: Society is smooth'd to that excess, That manners hardly differ more than dress."

"The mellow autumn came, and with it came The promised party, to enjoy its sweets. The corn is cut, the manor full of game; The pointer ranges, and the sportsman beats In russet jacket:—lynx-like is his aim; Full grows his bag, and wonderful his feats. Ah, nut-brown partridges! Ah, brilliant pheasants! And ah, ye poachers!—’Tis no sport for peasants."

"The English winter — ending in July, To recommence in August."

"I hate to hunt down a tired metaphor."

"However, ’tis expedient to be wary: Indifference certes don’t produce distress; And rash enthusiasm in good society Were nothing but a moral inebriety."

"Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away; A single laugh demolish'd the right arm Of his own country; — seldom since that day Has Spain had heroes."

"Of all tales 'tis the saddest,—and more sad, Because it makes us smile."

"Rough Johnson, the great moralist, profess'd, Right honestly, "he liked an honest hater!""

"An eye's an eye, and whether black or blue, Is no great matter, so 'tis in request, 'Tis nonsense to dispute about a hue — The kindest may be taken as a test. The fair sex should be always fair; and no man, Till thirty, should perceive there's a plain woman."

"Beauteous, even where beauties most abound."

"A finish'd gentleman from top to toe."

"A Prince, ... With fascination in his very bow."

"Merely innocent flirtation, Not quite adultery, but adulteration."

"Such is your cold coquette, who can’t say "No," And won’t say "Yes," and keeps you on and off-ing On a lee-shore, till it begins to blow— Then sees your heart wreck’d, with an inward scoffing."

"For talk six times with the same single lady, And you may get the wedding dresses ready."

"And these vicissitudes tell best in youth; For when they happen at a riper age, People are apt to blame the Fates, forsooth, And wonder Providence is not more sage. Adversity is the first path to truth: He who hath proved war, storm, or woman’s rage, Whether his winters be eighteen or eighty, Hath won the experience which is deem’d so weighty."

"Some are soon bagg'd, and some reject three dozen. 'Tis fine to see them scattering refusals And wild dismay o'er every angry cousin (Friends of the party), who begin accusals, Such as — "Unless Miss (Blank) meant to have chosen Poor Frederick, why did she accord perusals To his billets? Why waltz with him? Why, I pray, Look yes last night, and yet say no to-day?""

"And hold up to the sun my little taper."

"Love rules the camp, the court, the grove,"—"for love Is heaven, and heaven is love."

"How beauteous are rouleaus! how charming chests Containing ingots, bags of dollars, coins (Not of old victors, all whose heads and crests Weigh not the thin ore where their visage shines, But) of fine unclipt gold, where dully rests Some likeness, which the glittering cirque confines, Of modern, reigning, sterling, stupid stamp:— Yes! ready money is Aladdin's lamp."

"But whether all, or each, or none of these May be the hoarder's principle of action, The fool will call such mania a disease: — What is his own? Go — look at each transaction, Wars, revels, loves — do these bring men more ease Than the mere plodding through each "vulgar fraction"? Or do they benefit mankind? Lean miser! Let spendthrifts' heirs enquire of yours — who's wiser?"

"Why call the miser miserable? as I said before: the frugal life is his, Which in a saint or cynic ever was The theme of praise: a hermit would not miss Canonization for the self-same cause, And wherefore blame gaunt wealth's austerities? Because, you'll say, nought calls for such a trial; — Then there's more merit in his self-denial."

"Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; Men love in haste, but they detest at leisure."

"O Gold! Why call we misers miserable? Theirs is the pleasure that can never pall; Theirs is the best bower anchor, the chain cable Which holds fast other pleasures great and small. Ye who but see the saving man at table, And scorn his temperate board, as none at all, And wonder how the wealthy can be sparing, Know not what visions spring from each cheese-paring."

"Be hypocritical, be cautious, be Not what you seem, but always what you see."

"Nought's permanent among the human race, Except the Whigs not getting into place."

"John Keats, who was kill'd off by one critique, Just as he really promised something great, If not intelligible, without Greek Contrived to talk about the gods of late, Much as they might have been supposed to speak. Poor fellow! His was an untoward fate. 'Tis strange the mind, that very fiery particle, Should let itself be snuff'd out by an article."

"But Juan was my Moscow, and Faliero My Leipsic, and my Mount Saint Jean seems Cain."

"Even I—albeit I'm sure I did not know it, Nor sought of foolscap subjects to be king— Was reckon'd a considerable time, The grand Napoleon of the realms of rhyme."

"In the great world, — which, being interpreted, Meaneth the west or worst end of a city, And about twice two thousand people bred By no means to be very wise or witty, But to sit up while others lie in bed, And look down on the universe with pity, — Juan, as an inveterate patrician, Was well received by persons of condition."

"And, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but The truth in masquerade."

"But Tom's no more—and so no more of Tom."

"When Bishop Berkeley said 'there was no matter,' And proved it — 'twas no matter what he said."

"A mighty mass of brick, and smoke, and shipping, Dirty and dusky, but as wide as eye Could reach, with here and there a sail just skipping In sight, then lost amidst the forestry Of masts; a wilderness of steeples peeping On tiptoe through their sea-coal canopy; A huge, dun cupola, like a foolscap crown On a fool’s head—and there is London Town!"

"Kill a man's family, and he may brook it, But keep your hands out of his breeches' pocket."

"That water-land of Dutchmen and of ditches."

"This is the way physicians mend or end us, Secundum artem: but although we sneer In health—when ill, we call them to attend us, Without the least propensity to jeer."

"O for a forty-parson power to chant Thy praise, Hypocrisy! Oh for a hymn Loud as the virtues thou dost loudly vaunt, Not practise!"

"And wrinkles, the damned democrats, won't flatter."

"When Newton saw an apple fall, he found In that slight startle from his contemplation A mode of proving that the earth turn'd round In a most natural whirl, called "gravitation.""

"Though modest, on his unembarrass'd brow Nature had written "gentleman.""

"What a strange thing is man! and what a stranger Is woman! What a whirlwind is her head, And what a whirlpool full of depth and danger Is all the rest about her!"

"These quench'd a moment her ambition's thirst — So Arab deserts drink in summer's rain: In vain! — As fall the dews on quenchless sands, Blood only serves to wash Ambition's hands!"

"At least he pays no rent, and has best right To be the first of what we used to call 'Gentlemen farmer' — a race worn out quite, Since lately there have been no rents at all, And 'gentlemen' are in a piteous plight, And 'farmers' can't raise Ceres from her fall."

"Never had mortal man such opportunity, Except Napoleon, or abused it more."