Peanuts Comic Strip

"(after Violet chides him for being dirty and calls him a "germ carrier":) Even germs get tired of walking now and then! (14 Jul 61)"

"(when Lucy asks him why he doesn't look neat like the other players on the team:) Last year I batted .712. Neatness doesn't bat .712! (20 Mar 97)"

"(at the classroom) And if I'm elected class president, I promise to..."

"I'm in business...these are ready-mix mud pies! (22 May 53)"

"(to Patty:) You an' I have a lot in common...we both dislike the same things about Charlie Brown! (31 Aug 53)"

"(after she and Patty tear into Charlie Brown again and he walks away, very dejected:) You know, it's a strange thing about Charlie Brown...you almost never see him laugh. (4 Dec 59)"

"My Dad can _______ better than your Dad."

"(to "Pig-pen") You can't be class president, 'Pig-Pen'! You're a mess, and you have no dignity!"

"(to "Snoopy")" Well, hello, there! You don't know me, do you? My name is "Violet". You're real cute... "7 Feb 51)"

"Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. (hits Charlie Brown) That's what little girls are made of. (3 Oct 50)"

"It's a lot more fun not inviting people than it is inviting them! (14 Oct 52)"

"(to Lucy:) You'll always be a crabby little girl! You were born crabby and you're going to stay crabby! Don't think you're going to change because you're not! (16 May 64)"

"Well! Here comes ol' Charlie Brown! Good ol' Charlie Brown...yes, sir! Good ol' Charlie Brown...how I hate him! (02 Oct 50 - the very first Peanuts strip)"

"(telling Charlie Brown he's quitting the baseball team:) I'm the kind who needs to win now and then. With you it's different. I think you get sort of a neurotic pleasure out of losing all the time. (3 Aug 62)"

"Every Christmas it's the same - I always end up playing a shepherd. (Shermy's only line of dialogue in "A Charlie Brown Christmas")"

"Nothing makes me more mad than wasting a good haircut! Last Saturday I got a haircut so I'd look nice for school Monday morning. Then on Monday I got sick, and I couldn't go to school for three days. I wasted a good haircut! (21 Sep 62)"

"Saturday's the only day I never get anything wrong. (7 Oct 78)"

"(on Orientation at camp:) If they try to ship us to the Orient, forget it! (15 Jun 78)"

"(to teacher:) Our family just moved here from out of state. (...) No, ma'am...I don't know which state. I don't even know where I am now! (4 Oct 78)"

"(Linus is two months older:) Aren't you kind of old for me? (9 Jun 86)"

"(to Linus:) You like mint chocolate chip? I'm surprised...most older people like vanilla! (Linus fumes.) (13 Jun 86)"

"Today my name is (insert flowery-sounding or unusual female name here, such as: Melissa, Anna, Olivia, etc.)"

"(during Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales (2002), she announces:) Today, my name is Jezebel. (Linus then tells her the story of the Biblical Jezebel's grisly death. She responds:) Today, my name is Susan. (18 Dec 87)"

"The annual meeting of the Cactus Club will now come to order..."

"(after Peppermint Patty loses a golf game:) Perhaps you'd like to invest in some choice real estate near Needles? My card!"

"(on selling "oceanview property" in Needles:) I figured coyotes can see a long way."

"(puts hat on left side of cactus) Sometimes I hang my hat here,"

"Charlie Brown: Sixty-three runs in the very first inning!"

"Lucy: Can you take a little friendly criticism, Charlie Brown?"

"Schroeder: (to Lucy:) I wouldn't marry you unless you were the last girl on earth!"

"Charlie Brown: Life is just too much for me. I've been confused right from the day I was born. I think the whole trouble is that we're thrown into life too fast... we're not really prepared. Linus: What did you want... a chance to warm up first? (9 Sep 59)"

"Lucy Van Pelt: Aren't the clouds beautiful? They look like big balls of cotton. I could just lie here all day and watch them drift by. If you use your imagination, you can see lots of things in the cloud's formations. What do you think you see, Linus?"

"Violet: [screaming at Charlie Brown] ...AND I DON'T CARE IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME?"

"Charlie Brown: Say, did you know that this is "Children's Art Month"?"

"Charlie Brown: Is Linus back from lunch yet?"

"Charlie Brown: Joe Shlabotnik? Really? You have a Joe Shlabotnik? You have a Joe Shlabotnik bubble gum card? He's my favorite player! I've been trying to get him on a bubble gum card for five years! You wanna trade? Here... I'll give you Whitey Ford, Mickey Mantle, Robin Roberts, Luis Aparicio, Bill Monbouquette, Dick Stuart and Juan Pizarro!"

"Charlie Brown: Next year I'm going to be a changed person!"

"Charlie Brown: Shovel your walk?"

"Lucy: (to Charlie Brown) You don't think my brother and I get along very well, do you? You just wait. After we've grown, we'll be very close!"

"Lucy: Here, I brought you a piece of toast."

"Charlie Brown: This is the time of year when all the big baseball trades are made. I'm going to try to improve our team with a few shrewd trades."

"Lucy: (walks up to Charlie Brown carrying a baseball glove) Hey, manager... some kid must have left his glove here. It has his name on it. See? Right here... "Willie Mays." He wrote his name on his glove, see? Poor kid... he's probably been looking all over for it. We should have a "Lost and Found." I don't know any kid around here named "Willie Mays," do you? How are we gonna get it back to him? He was pretty smart putting his name on his glove this way, though. It's funny, I just don't remember any kid by that name..."

"Charlie Brown: [at Lucy's psychiatric booth] Do you think I can ever become a mature and well-adjusted person?"

"Lucy: [walking up to Charlie Brown on the pitcher's mound] Here, Charlie Brown... sign this petition!"

"Charlie Brown: She must be kidding!"

"Charlie Brown: Why would the library ban Miss Helen Sweetstory's book?"

"Linus: Still moping? I can't believe it! But that was almost ten weeks ago!"

"[Charlie Brown is watching a golf tournament on TV when Sally comes up behind him.]"

"Peppermint Patty: Marcie, I'm short a player. I need you out in right field."

"Linus: What are you watching?"