"I saw the first Kick-Ass and I loved it. I thought it was an amazing movie. It’s just a great action film that caught me off-guard. You see all these super hero movies, and super heroes have a moral code that they live by and it seemed like in Kick-Ass, that wasn’t the case. It was survival on the streets and still try to fight crime. I think that’s a more realistic version of what vigilantes would be."

"I can't be invisible, but I can kick your ass."

"[about to fire the bazooka] Say hello to my little friend!"

"I can't see through walls, but I can kick your ass."

"Stu 'Large' Riley (credited as Stu Riley) — the Huge Goon"

"You are so fucking dead, man! [gets stabbed by Hit-Girl]"

"Mindy? No more homework, baby doll. It's time for Frank D'Amico to go bye-bye."

"That's right, we're superheroes, you love us."

"[lifts up gun at Mindy] You're gonna be fine, babydoll! [shoots Mindy in the chest]"

"As a great man once said, "Wait 'til they get a load of me!"."

"Okay, you cunts, let's see what you can do now."

"[after killing Cody in his car with a car crusher] What a douche."

"[in mockingly childish falsetto] Mommy! I want a Kick-Ass party! [in normal voice] Dumb little fucks."

"[after saving Big Daddy and Kick-Ass from being executed on live television] Show's over, motherfuckers. [destroys the video camera]"

"[while attempting to rescue a stubborn cat named 'Mister Bitey' who was stuck on a billboard platform] FUCK YOU, Mister Bitey! [falls off platform]"

"With no power comes no responsibility, except that wasn't true."

"Fuck this shit, I'm getting the bazooka!"

"Lyndsy Fonseca — Katie Deauxma"

"Evan Peters — Todd Haynes"

"Leslie Mann and Allison Miller as Scarlet Porter O'Donnell"

"Michelle Trachtenberg as Margaret Sarah "Maggie" O'Donnell"

"Matthew Perry and Zac Efron as Mike O'Donnell"

"Sterling Knight as Alex O'Donnell"

"High school star, never quite lived up to your potential. Sooner or later you all come back to your old school, stand there and look at the pictures of your glory days, wondering what might have been. Seems to me you guys are living in the past."

"Who says you're only young once?"

"Thomas Lennon and Tyler Steelman as Ned Gold"

"Back to High School"

"[In the bleachers, talking to Maggie] When you're young everything feels like the end of the world. But it's not it's just the beginning. You might have to meet a few more jerks. But one day you're gonna meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Like the sun rises and sets with you."

"[pretending to read a letter to Scarlet in divorce court] Scarlet, before you go through with this, I want to remind you of September 7th, 1988. It was the first time that I saw you. You were reading Less Than Zero, and you were wearing a Guns 'n' Roses t-shirt. I'd never seen anything so perfect. I remember thinking that I had to have you, or I'd die... then you whispered that you loved me at the homecoming dance, and I felt so peaceful... and safe... because I knew that no matter what happened, from that day on, nothing could ever be that bad... because I had you. And then I, uh... I grew up and I lost my way. And I blamed you for my failures. And I know that you think you have to do this today... but I don't want you to. But I guess... if I love you, I should let you move on."

"Brian Doyle-Murray as the Janitor: the magical figure who makes the transformation possible."

"Da Funk: [Brit and Bree do really bad dances] Hahahah, did you guys see that? That was just terrible. Thank God that's over."

"Tami: I love drama! It's so dramatic!"

"Dominique: You are gonna clean this room spotless in 30 minutes. Rod! [Rod leaves the room and holds his head-Dominique just threw a shrimp at him] [Dominique turns back to Mary] And your phone privileges are suspended for an entire month! Cough it up! [Mary hands over her cell and Dominique glares at her] Clean!"

"(to Mary) One of the reasons I came back was to remember why I started dancing in the first place. When I'm dancing with you, I'm starting to remember."

"You know what really sucks about falling for a guy you know you're not right for? You fall anyways 'cause you think he might turn out to be different."

"You don't have to pretend like you like me. I've had enough charity to last a lifetime."

"Charlie Swan: You can kiss your license goodbye."

"Charlie Swan: She always did know how to worry."

"Charlie Swan: It sure like hell is not okay."

"Eric Yorkie: Bella, look! It's a worm, it's a worm! [Laughs]"