"I don't know, we played a show for like, ten kids, but those ten kids were just insane. It's really quantity, not quality, and that's what I really -- (Pete cuts him off) Pete: It's quality, not quantity. You said it backwards. I don't want you to look like a dumbass... on film."

"Everything was plugged in and should’ve been working, but it gave me a communication error. I got like a cave man and got so mad at it. I was completely fed up. I’m not an engineer, I’m not a computer whiz. I don’t know anything about electronics. All I know is that I want this thing to make noise, I want to write music, and it’s not working."

"I mean, if I had a piccolo in front of me I would probably figure out how to play ‘Hot Cross Buns’ or something."

"I started playing music when I was really young. I didn't start off on guitar because I couldn't fit my hands around the neck and fret board. So I did the drums. And back then, all I did was hit things."

"I mean you never heard of the menlinium falcon is the shit, but made the Kessel Run in and under 12 parsecs"

"Hi I'm Patrick. Today we're going to look at how long it takes for spilt Coke to sink into a carpet. [plays Jeopardy music] Note that it's still fizzy."

"I'm probably the only guy in the world that likes to eat black licorice."

"What's so funny about I don't get it..."

"I already said that fucking thing, you missed it. Where were you on that one, O'Keefe? Eyes on the prize. Focus!"

"My badge my witn- oh shh... *hums* Pete:*makes weird noise* oh shhh!"

"Hi, I'm Patrick Stump. And I'm wearing Pete's pants."

"Woah! Nope... *screams* Boo..."

"Calm before the storm - fuck it; MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. MEOW."

"Hey, does your mother sew? BOOM! Get her to sew that."

"These are the dude version. They couldn't possibly be your pants!"

"Come to think of it, I'm gonna- I'm gonna make him bald, and make him- and make him sweat acid. And I think I'm gonna give him weird bladder problems, and romantic problems..Y'know what?! THE WHOLE THING!"

"Don't just look at her ass, eat it."

"Yeah, I'm one of those guys--I'm either totally on time and--and everything's good, or I just--I just didn't know what happened, you know, and I just totally don't show up. Like not like late, like, I didn't know--my problem is that sometimes I'm real bad at getting information and retaining it, so...I dunno...Sometimes it's more forgetting than late."

"Know somethin'... I got a range. I got a range like no motherfucker knows."

"Nintendo DS makes me forget that I don't have any friends."

"Patrick: One of my favorite rumors about myself is that I am 31, which is just about 10 years off, so... Pete: He's 41, you motherfuckers."

"I hate barbeque sauce. Little known fact about me. Can't stand it."

"(Points to guide arrows on street) See these guide arrows? Fuck you, guide arrows! Tell me to go that way? Fuck you."

"Pete Wentz: Every action movie has to have a gadget guy. You hate being the gadget guy, huh? You're a good gadget guy, you wear glasses. Patrick: (throws glasses on the floor) Now I'm a HORRIBLE gadget guy!"

"We're standing outside of Peet's Coffee. I've never been here before, but I'm gonna pretend like I have. I love you, Peet's. So good memories."

"Before lunch, and ultimately recess, I need you to know - you're going to die."

"I did my civic duty. Haha I'm driving a Civic! Whoa!"

"Quiet IS the new loud."

"Yeah, I've been writing a bunch of new stuff, but it's all secret. In fact, I may or may not have been writing stuff this entire interview."

"Whoever is in charge of my Wikipedia, all right, whoever you are - the major, most egregious thing in there isn't that, you know, apparently I'm bisexual and have like, twenty kids and that I learned everything I know from a sixteen-year-old who probably wrote that in himself, but the most egregious of all the errors is that it says I am a massive David Bowie fan, which is true, but it is a gross omission to leave out my obsession with Prince. Absolutely. So whoever you are, throw that in there. Go for it. You know what? Make me eighty feet tall. And, you know, make me a transsexual. But put in Prince."

"He's not cocky because of Fall Out Boy, he's cocky because he's Pete Wentz."

"Carpool to save gas. 'Cause I know you're in grade school and driving is like, what you do."

"I hear all sorts of things slung at us, one of my favorites being the "boy-band" accusation. I'm like, 'Boy band? I'm fat! If we were a boy band, I'd look good, I'd dance and I'd be charming - so what the fuck are you talking about?' I write songs, that's all I do."

"I get really annoyed with photo shoots and interviews and handshakes. I’m a musician; God forbid I actually have time to make music."

"Joe Trohman: (referring to Pete and Patrick) You guys should just make lo- You guys should get married. Patrick: We are."

"I collect movies, I still buy records constantly. I collect musical instruments and most of my time I spend making music, it's pretty much what I do 90% of the time I'm home. Aside from just normal stuff, I walk the dog, I hang out with my girlfriend, get dinner. Pretty mellow stuff."

"Right now I'm in Hollywood— I don't like Hollywood, it's not really my style. But I've found my own little niche here where it's not bad. It's one of those things where I've been on an extended work trip here for 2 years. I still technically live in Chicago and I'm dying to get back. That's one of the big things for me, I go back to Chicago when I want to hang out. I'm weirdly very proud of my city, and I hope, God willing, I die there."

"I think a producer should be like water, and whatever the shape of the glass is, he or she should fill that. If they need you to be the engineer guy--typically I have an engineer--I work at that stuff. If they need you to be a songwriting help guy, I work on that. If they need you to be a vocal melody guy, I work at that, etc. I kind of look at whatever a band needs out of me then I try to give it to them."

"I think Joe's underappreciated, I think Andy's underappreciated, I think Pete's underappreciated, I don't think people know how good he is. I think Neal [Avron]'s underappreciated, but if anything, I feel overappreciated. I think Patrick Stump gets enough attention."

"There's something really personal about your voice, where if people talk shit on your guitar, "Ugh, he played out of tune," etc., you can, in your head, blame it on something else, but when you fuck up with your singing, that's part of you [...] So I guess I'm an insecure enough dude that I just went back and really studied and tried to sing better."

"Pete's my best friend, I was the best man at his wedding, I love that man to death. I'd take a bullet for him."

"I think one of the things if you look at minimalism or expressionism, there's various movements in modern composition that I think you can see really natural relations in pop music, so I mean I always look to that in pop music."

"There's so many accusations that are so ridiculous about Pete Wentz that are taken as the gospel—people just assume that he posted pictures of his penis on the internet. That is the stupidest fucking thing thing I've ever heard. Why on earth would you ever do that?"

"I'm sure it's gotta be a great job 'cause rock stars are known for their punctuality and politeness, so..."

"There was a weird moment where—I was still a drummer, I always saw myself as a drummer—and we got nominated for a Grammy, that was really crazy, and I was sitting there and Stevie Wonder was on stage and I remember thinking "Wow, I really need to take [singing] more seriously!""

"Reich and John Cage were pretty big influences on this record (Folie A Deux) in weird ways in that you wouldn't necessarily hear any of it - nothing ends up sounding like either of them, but I think just methodology and things like that ended up on the record in various ways."

"Thought hard about this next linePretty sure it's true.If you take a step towards freedomIt'll take two steps towards you."

"The skin you're in makes choices for you."

"You don't gotta be loud, son, to be heavy as shit!"

"One does not have to be an honours grad in political science from Harvard University to recognise the unethical and inhumane nature of this administration but well, I happen to be an honours grad in political science from Harvard University, so I can confirm that for you"