"[in a debate on healthcare] Shut up. Enough already. I've heard all the bitching and moaning I can stand for one day, alright? Look, if you want to regard me as some kind of blood-sucking vampire, then fine, great, I'll be the bad guy. [points at John] But who's holding the fucking gun?"

"Your hospital's under new management now! Yeah! Yeah from now on, free health care for everyone!"

"Robert Duvall - Lt. Frank Grimes"

"My son is dying, and I'm broke. If I don't qualify for Medicare, who the hell does?"

"Jimmy Palumbo: [Interviewed by Tuck Lampley] I've got to be honest this whole thing sucks, it could've all been avoided incredibly easy, none of this had to happen if John could've been a millionaire or if his last name was Rockefeller, sometimes he doesn't understand what we hold sacred in this country isn't values, its "value" that's important, we've got haves and we've got have not we've got white collar, blue collar and then we've got no collar, inside the hospital we've got "luck surgery" and "out of luck surgery", there's a lot of people out there who don't have two hundred fifty grand in their bill fold, seeing a man like that backing into a corner it seems to me "something" is out of whack, not "someone.""

"Cress Williams - George"

"Garry Marshall - Rigfort"

"Octavia Spencer - Cynthia"

"Giuseppe Andrews - Denominator"

"Maya McLaughlin - Lara"

"Sean Whalen - Merkin"

"Marley Shelton - Kristen"

"James Franco - Jason"

"Branden Williams - Tommy"

"Denny Kirkwood - Billy Prince"

"Jordan Ladd - Gibby"

"Marissa Jaret Winokur - Sheila"

"Jessica Alba - Kirsten"

"Martha Hackett - Mrs. Knox"

"Michael Vartan - Sam Coulson"

"Leelee Sobieski - Aldys"

"Molly Shannon - Anita"

"David Arquette - Rob Geller"

"She's never been hip. Never been cool. Never been in... Until now"

"A Comedy With Class."

"Some things are worth waiting for"

"John C. Reilly - Augustus "Gus" Strauss"

"Aldys: [faking "Valley Girl" accent] Oh my God, like, there goes another lemming!"

"Jeremy Jordan - Guy Perkins"

"Jenny Bicks - Miss Haskell"

"Katie Lansdale - Tracy"

"Drew Barrymore - Josie Geller"

"The Class Clown Just Turned Chic."

"Wow, that was just like "Carrie!" I thought she was gonna kill us all."

"All you need is for one person to think you're cool, and you're in. Everyone else will be scared to question it."

"I'm the coleslaw king of the world!"

"Let me tell you something, I don't care about being your stupid prom queen. I'm 25 years old. I'm an undercover reporter for the Chicago Sun Times and I've been beating my brains out trying to impress you people. Let me tell you something, Gibby, Kirsten, Kristin, you will spend your lives trying to keep others down because it makes you feel more important. Why her? Let me tell you about this girl, she is unbelievable. I was new here and she befriended me no questions asked. But you, you were only my friend after my brother, Rob, posed as a student and told you to like me. All of you people, there is a big world out there... bigger than prom, bigger than high school and it won't matter if you were the prom queen, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it."

"Rob, you're not going to believe it, I made friends with a whole table of rastafari. Not just one, a whole table... You know what's a weird word? Fork. Oh my God, someone ate my entire pie! I don't know how that happened!"

"Hey, Guy, guys, Guy's guys!"

"Somebody once said, "To write well, you have to write what you know." Well, here is what you know..."

"See ya around the Cell Block, Mrs. Robinson."

"Sex can be fun... when you're old enough, which none of you are. I should know. When you lose it to some guy named Junior with bad breath in the back of a van at a Guns N' Roses concert, you're gonna wish you had listened to your mother when she said, "They're not gonna want to buy the whole friggin' ice cream truck when you're handing out the popsicles for free!" [giggles and sighs] ...So, any questions? [every hand goes up]"