"For we must fight this war, in meeting house and Congress and the halls of Parliament, as well as on the field! But what it's all about, you'll really never know. And yet it-it it's so much simpler than any of you think. We give all we have. We fight! We die, for a simple thing. Only that a man could stand."

"Whit Bissell — Josiah Quincy"

"Geoffrey Toone — Major Pitcairn"

"Sebastian Cabot — Jonathan Lyte"

"Walter Coy — Dr. Joseph Warren"

"Hal Stalmaster — Johnny Tremain"

"John Slattery - Shep Wild"

"Morgan Freeman - Patrick Meighan"

"Jessica Barth - Tami-Lynn"

"Giovanni Ribisi - Donny"

"Patrick Stewart - Narrator"

"Hey, fuck your Chrysler!"

"Seth MacFarlane - Ted"

"Mark Wahlberg - John Bennett"

"That’s him."

"Sittin' out here in a public, jerkin' off? Where do you think you are, Red Lobster?"

"Amanda Seyfried - Samantha Jackson"

"No! No! I said no Electric Slide! Goddamn it, you will not wreck this night with your forced white people group fun!"

"Jimmy Fallon - Himself"

"Curtis Stigers - Wedding singer"

"Nana Visitor - Adoption agent"

"Liam Neeson - Customer"

"Kate McKinnon - herself"

"Ralph Garman - Stormtrooper"

"Bobby Moynihan - himself"

"Tom Brady - himself"

"Dennis Haysbert - Fertility doctor"

"Taran Killam - himself"

"Sebastian Arcelus - Dr. Danzer"

"Jessica Szohr - Allison"

"Lenny Clarke - Cop"

"Tara Strong - Ted's "I Love You" function"

"Jimmy Kimmel - himself"

"Sam J. Jones - himself"

"Bill Smitrovich - Frank"

"Cocoa Brown - Joy"

"John Carroll Lynch - Tom Jessup"

"Michael Dorn - Rick"

"Jay Leno - himself"

"Patrick Warburton - Guy"

"Ron Canada - Judge Matheson"

"Denzel Washington as Robert McCall"

"Marton Csokas as Teddy/Nicolai"

"The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why."

"You think you know me? You strike me as a sentimental man, Mr. McCall. That's surprising. I... I don't possess that chip. I never could understand what comes from feeling that way, except weakness."