"No...dinner for you, Max! Go to your room! [Max bites on the Connie's shoulder] OW!! [Connie drops Max. Adrian gasps in horror] Max! He bit me! THAT HURTS!"

"Max, don't pull that now."

"Carol! [Carol: What?!] That was my favourite arm!"

"I like it better when we have a king. I like Carol better when we have a king."

"You're not really a king, huh? You're just regular."

"Hey, KW, you wanna be on my team? We're the BAD guys."

"Oh, this is the famous Bob and Terry? [Bob and Terry squeak] What? K.W. told you about me? What did she say?"

"Alexander, get over there and be social!"

"Ah, you don’t really need to know me. I’m kind of a downer."

"Happiness isn't always the best way to be happy."

"You know what I say. If you got a problem, eat it."

"Perhaps need is one thing; himself."

"That’s Douglas. I count on him for everything. If I was stranded on a desert island and could only take one thing, it'd be Douglas. We can share him if you want."

"Let the wild rumpus start!"

"YOU'RE NOT ACCEPTABLE!!"

"Max Records as Max."

"I could eat you up, I love you so."

"Inside all of us is... hope. Inside all of us is... fear. Inside all of us is... adventure. Inside all of us is a wild thing."

"There's one in all of us."

"Connie, you can't treat like that."

"[at stock brokerage] Yes, I'd say it's a full-scale panic. Are you having a run on the bank there yet? Well, it's rather brutal here. We're advising our clients to put everything they've got into canned food and shotguns!"

"Long, isn't it?"

"Patently ridiculous"

"Still lurking about? Don't you people have homes?"

"Here they grow again."

"We warned you. Remember the rules. You didn't listen."

"Zach Galligan — Billy Peltzer"

"Phoebe Cates — Kate Beringer"

"John Glover — Daniel Clamp"

"Robert Prosky — Grandpa Fred"

"Robert Picardo — Forster, chief of security"

"Christopher Lee — Doctor Catheter"

"Haviland Morris — Marla Bloodstone"

"Dick Miller - Murray Futterman"

"[seeing a dying Stripe] What the hell is that?!"

"[last lines; narrating] Well, that's the story. So the next time your air-conditioner goes on the fritz, or your washing machine blows up, or your video recorder conks out, before you call the repairman, turn on all the lights. Check all the closets and cupboards. Look under all the beds. 'Cause you never can tell. There just might be a gremlin in your house."

"Chinese Boy: Keep him out of the light. He hates bright light. Especially sunlight - it'll kill him. And keep him away from water. Don't get him wet. But the most important rule, the rule you can never forget - no matter how much he cries, or how much he begs, never, never feed him after midnight."

"Stripe: (repeated line) Gizmo CaCa!"

"Lynn Peltzer: GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!!!"