First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Grandfather, can't we resolve this conflict without anger?"
"[Shouting at a neighbor's house] Shut those mutts up before I cook 'em and eat 'em!"
"What you lookin' at, Popeye?"
"Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!"
"Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!"
"One'a you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth!"
"[throwing away their junk] Aw, Nana, not my prison shank."
"You look old, Granny, are you gonna die today?"
"[eating at Applebee's] It's Applebee-riffic!"
"[about being a pit crew member] Sorry, Lucius, but it's a hard habit to break, like stalking an ex-girlfriend."
"Peaches and cream!"
"Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur, the mighty sword King Arthur used to bring together the knights of the roundtable, until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his queen [whispering] in the biblical sense."
"[After Ricky has stabbed himself in the leg] Here, we'll use this knife to pry the other one out!"
"[As Ricky races for the first time] Just remember this, Ricky: you wreck that car, that's $200,000 out of your pocket!"
"Glenn, shut up."
"Sometimes, when it's late at night, I dress up like Donna Summers. I put on the skirt, and the four inch heels...I love it. [singing] Last chance, for romance, for love....."
"Carley Bobby: [about Walker and Texas Ranger] If we wanted us some wussies, we would have named them 'Dr. Quinn' and 'Medicine Woman', okay?"
"Carley, Cal, Walker, Texas Ranger: Jenga!"
"Announcer at Racetrack: [after Girard completes a successful lap] Ladies and gentlemen, that is a new track record. As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting on the pole - which is, of course, a statement of fact and in no way a comment on the driver's sexual orientation."
"Bill Weber: We'd like to thank you for joining us for NBC's coverage of NASCAR. Coming up next, it's "Ice Dancing To The Hits Of Motown"!"
"Bill Weber: Ricky Bobby wins! You'll never see anything like that in a hundred lifetimes! It was completely illegal and in no way will count, but, man, that was something!"
"Hershell: [about the jazz music] I want this music out of my head!"
"Kyle: [about the jazz music] Sounds like someone made a tape of somethin' dying or something!"
"Opening title card: America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, bad-ass speed. - Eleanor Roosevelt, 1936."
"Chip: As Thor said to Loki, "When you roll the dice, you pay the price.""
"The story of a man who could only count to #1."
"You don't have to be quick to be fast."
"Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby"
"Gary Cole - Reese Bobby"
"John C. Reilly - Cal Naughton, Jr."
"Sacha Baron Cohen - Jean Girard"
"Michael Clarke Duncan - Lucius Washington"
"Jane Lynch - Lucy Bobby"
"Leslie Bibb - Carley Bobby"
"Amy Adams - Susan"
"Houston Tumlin - Walker Bobby"
"Grayson Russell - Texas Ranger Bobby"
"Ted Manson - Chip"
"Jack McBrayer - Glenn"
"Greg Germann - Larry Dennit, Jr."
"Frank Welker - The Cougar."
"How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? Maybe don't wear a bra next time. No, I was talking to you. No, not her. I don't know her name. What is it? Lanolin. La - Lanolin? Like - like sheep's wool?"
"His news is bigger than your news."
"If Ron Burgundy says it, it's the truth!"
"They bring you the news—so you don't have to get it yourself."
"Bill Kurtis - Narrator"
"Missi Pyle - Zookeeper"
"Kathryn Hahn - Helen"
"Seth Rogen - Cameraman"
"Ben Stiller - Arturo Mendez"