"[Objecting at a meeting of flag officers regarding Dodge's command] There is physical evidence that, as an ensign, he did become so physically intoxicated that he not only allowed himself to be tattooed, but tattooed on his genitalia. Now, call me a prude if you want, but I don't think it's good policy for the Navy to hand over a billion-dollar piece of equipment to a man who has "Welcome Aboard" tattooed on his penis!"

"Rip Torn — Vice Adm. Dean Winslow"

"Harland Williams — Seaman 2nd Class E.T. "Sonar" Lovacelli"

"Bradford Tatum — Engineman 1st Class Brad Stepanak"

"Jonathan Penner — Seaman Stanley "Spots" Sylvesterson"

"Duane Martin — Planesman 1st Class Jefferson "R.J." Jackson"

"Toby Huss — Seaman Nitro"

"Ken Hudson Campbell — Seaman Buckman"

"William H. Macy — Orlando Cmdr. Carl Knox"

"Bruce Dern — Rear Adm. Yancy Graham"

"Harry Dean Stanton — CPO Howard, Chief Engineer"

"Rob Schneider — Executive Officer (XO) Martin T. "Marty" Pascoe"

"Lauren Holly — Lt. Emily Lake, Diving Officer"

"Kelsey Grammer — Lt. Cmdr. Thomas "Tom" Dodge"

"[After the Stingray's overhaul] Well done, guys. She may not be the youngest girl at the ball... but she'll turn a head or two. If she drives as well as she looks, we may even survive!"