"[First lines] August 18, 1973. News of a bizarre, chainsaw-wielding family - reports which were to ignite the world's imagination - began to filter out of central Texas. Regrettably, not one of the family members was ever apprehended, and for more than ten years nothing further was heard. Then, over the next several years, at least two minor, yet apparently related incidents were reported. Then again nothing. For five long years, silence..."

"Still buzzing after all these years."

"The Buzz Is Back!"

"The American legend returns, to bring you back to the cutting edge of terror."

"[whipping Jenny with a cattle prod] It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end."

""I propose to fight it out on this line if it takes all summer." That's Ulysses S. Grant. But you wouldn't know that, would you? Cuz' you're a bona fide moron."

"You get to running with the wrong crowd, wind up in the reformatory. No respect. No discipline. That's the problem. Family values have gone straight to hell."

"My brother here is tired of what's-her-name's face and he wants a new one! It just happens to be he wants this face right here!"

"Why are my batteries not charged?"

"If you're gonna kill me then do it! I'm not gonna put up with any more of your crap. It's bullshit!"

"Peel that pig and slice him thick."

"R. A. Mihailoff- Junior Sawyer (Leatherface)"

"Joe Unger — Tinker Sawyer"

"Tom Everett — Alfredo Sawyer"

"William Butler — Ryan"

"Ken Foree — Benny"

"Viggo Mortensen — Tex Sawyer"

"Kate Hodge — Michelle"

"Jennifer Banko — Leatherface's daughter"

"The Saw Is Family."

"He puts the teeth in terror."

"There's Roadkill All Over Texas."

"I'll be in hell for breakfast."

"Technology is our friend."

"[After throwing body parts in a lake] Is it soup yet?"

"It's Armageddon! It's Armageddon you bitch! God dammit!"

"I'm gonna service you real good babe."

"There's road kill all over Texas."

"You should let Junior play with you for a bit. He is good at baby making."

"So? How do you like Texas?"

"[First lines] On August 18, 1973, Sally Hardesty, her invalid brother Franklin, and their friends fell afoul of a bizarre, cannibalistic clan of serial predators. Ms. Hardesty was the sole survivor of that night of terror. She died in a private health care facility in 1977. A single member of the murderous "family" lived to see trial. The prosecution recorded his name as W.E. Sawyer. He died in the gas chamber in 1981. The jurors concluded that "Leatherface", presumed to be an unapprehended killer, was in fact an alternate personality of Sawyer's, activated whenever he donned a crude mask made of human flesh. If there was no Leatherface in reality, then Sally Hardesty may at last rest in peace... If there actually was a Leatherface, he remains at large, and the so-called "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" . . . was only the beginning."

"Ken Evert — Grandpa Sawyer"

"Chris Douridas — Gunner/Rick"

"Bill Johnson — Leatherface"

"Lou Perryman — L. G. McPeters"

"Bill Moseley — "Chop Top" Sawyer"

"Jim Siedow — Drayton Sawyer"

"Caroline Williams — Vanita "Stretch" Brock"

"Dennis Hopper — Texas Ranger Lt. Boude "Lefty" Enright"

"After a decade of silence... The buzzz is back!"

"Just had another cursin' caller. Your little ass is gonna be in big trouble with that tape girl."

"I love this town. This town loves prime meat."

"What the hell's going on here? That the American way of entering a man's home?"

"It's a dog eat dog world and from where I sit there just ain't enough damn dogs!"

"You coonshits, you fudge packers, you'll be the death of me yet!"

"The small businessman... always, always, always gets it in the ass."